Wednesday, July 27, 2005

20 years is a long time

I fill with pride when I tell people that my wife and I have been together for 20 years.
What does it mean to be together for 20 years?
I suppose it means we covered our bases. Picking the right person is key, then committing to that person – and not wavering or giving up just because it’s not always easy or perfect. I joke with my wife when she points out one of my not so positive qualities… ‘Well, you picked me.’
(See how I deflect, aren’t I clever. Being clever also helps you last 20 years.)
Add to that… my wife is patient, kind, intelligent and damned sexy.

But here is something that I don’t like. That being together for 20 years somehow validates our relationship-- because we are …homosexuals (please pronounce this with a lilt in your voice and a slight lisp: hwomo-sec-tual).
‘Oh, yes..well they have been together for 20 years. See, those gay people really can be committed and in life long relationships…huh.'

So, what is the amount of time a gay couple needs to be together to validate their relationship? And I wonder… will Civil Unions make a difference. Will we appear to be more committed then. Will our relationships then be taken seriously after a month, after a year.

So, while I am blessed and thrilled and so happily celebrating my 20th year with my soulmate. I would like to raise my glass to other gays and lesbians who are just starting their journey together, or to those who have been together for some time and are struggling through a lull…together.
May you get to 20 and may it not be a tribute to gay people…but a tribute to you and your love.

Also (mostly for my wife, because she looks every week to see if any gay couples are included) I hope that by the time we reach our fiftieth our local paper will be ready to post our picture on the page with all the other old wrinkly couples celebrating their long lives together.

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