The FREE cat

What happens when you give two lesbians a free, feral, unfriendly cat?

Why… we buy cat toys of course.

I have to give credit to the woman from the feral cat rescue place – she really didn’t start snickering until I showed her the nightlight I installed.

ok ok ...so we did a couple things to modify the back of the garage to make the transition easier.

First – since the cat was going to be confined in the garage for several weeks, I framed out one side of the double doors and installed some fence. This way - the cat can see out, get some fresh air, and maybe not feel so locked up.

We are hoping she will learn some very important things from this vantage point. The most important being that the FREE dog is behind a fence. I think once she figures this out she will find it comforting.

This open fenced area also allows us to see in. That way we can locate her before entering with food and water.

There is a window in the back of the garage, so we built the cat a little perch there. (we also fenced the window so it can be opened on warm days.)

Then we got some little fuzzy cat bed things for her, and some organic wheat cat litter.

The shelter people provided us with this nifty little box with straw inside. They say that feral cats love these things. So of course we thought it would be even nicer if we put a little rug in front. We set her food bowls out there ... so her little feet would be warm and dry while she had a snack.

So, yeah... the cat lady is totally rolling her eyes now, while gently trying to explain to us that we may not really see this cat. That we should be prepared for her to take off when we let her out and that she may not return for a couple weeks.

We listened...politely.

And yes... to my adorable wife's delight The Cat Whisperer (aka TheDaughterTheTherapist) did in fact bring some catnip toys.

And here is possibly the only picture we may ever get of her.
Meet Sorsha.

Friday

tip-o-day

For today's tip we will be adding RESCUE
to my favorite list of 'R' words.

We needed a cat.
But how do we get a cat that will rid of us of rodents, not cause allergic reactions, and survive the FREE dog?

I love the internets.

On the internets we found several local ‘Barn Cat’ programs.
Barn Cats are basically exactly what we were looking for. These feral to semi-feral felines are often caught by a TNR program (Trap, Neuter and Release) and for some reason or another are not able to released back to their original home. Sometimes they are also domestic cats who simply cannot conform to life inside.

We have a barn! Well.. almost a barn.

We started making some calls.
Within an hour I got a call back from a perky woman named Monica. I told her we needed a cat to control rodents, but it would have to live in our barn/garage. Did she have anything like that?

She practically squealed.

Monica, who runs a TNR program, says she rarely has barn cats for placement and that most of her animals are returned to where they were found. BUT – she just so happened to have a little female who had just weaned a litter and was in desperate need of a new home.
It seems this little feral had been getting fed by a woman who lived in a condo.
Feeding wild cats is against the rules of the Condo Association. So much so, in fact, that the Association was going to kill this cat if the woman kept feeding her.

Monica currently had this cat in a foster situation and scheduled for spaying this week. After that she would have no choice but to return her and hope for the best.

She said it was a miracle that we called.

Far be it for us to mess with miracles.

Monica said we would need to keep this cat confined for 1 possibly even 2 months. She asked if that would be possible.

Um… yeah – not a problem. Your talking to people who shut down the main entrance to their house to host a bird family.

(Look! the babies are getting big!)

My coddling wife and I got busy right away.


To be continued…

Searching for a solution

what to do what to do when one has rats....

As we do with all decisions in our household, the first order of business is to get a cocktail and sit down (preferably in the location of the problem) and discuss the details of the situation and list possible solutions.

The 'situation' in this case was not just rats. We have an ever growing chipmunk population in most of the yard surrounding the house and have seen evidence of mice in the garage and basement.

Possible solutions included but was not limited to:

• Trap and Release - the most humane, tho our success rate is limited (ok... practically non-existent)
• Bait and Kill Traps - neither of us like this solution
• Poison - nope nope... just nasty - can't do it
• Professional Exterminator - hmm, they will most likely use one of the solutions we have already decided against. Doesn't make it any better if someone else is doing the execution. Plus, there is the cost to consider
• Setting out a giant vat of beer - I was thinking they would fall in and drown ... happily drunk, kinda pleasant. (could be the result of discussing over cocktails)
• The Circle of Life - aha!

Tho the giant vat of beer did have my vote, my pragmatic wife thought a cat might make more sense.

A cat.

A cute, furry little cuddly cat.

This solution is not completely obstacle free:

1. The FREE dog
2. The cat will need to enjoy hunting in the great outdoors
3. Oh and... Ferris AND my pet-lovin wife are both VERY allergic to cats

Ok, we have issues - tho they are not insurmountable.

Clearly - some research is in order.

...to be continued

A rat of a different color

There seems to be some confusion about rats.

Rats are not exclusively city dwellers. They are opportunists - which makes cities appealing. They also love them some water, thus we find so many living in the city sewer systems. But they also love swamps, and rivers and lakes. The rat population in the city mimics that of humans. More humans, more rats.

Out here in suburbia - less humans, but certainly there are rats. These rats know nothing of train lines and subway systems or hotdog vendors and high rises. They would be as uncomfortable living in Manhattan as I.
Our rats enjoy the suburban sprawl, the large lawns, open water ways and lush landscapes. These are not the sickly disease infested rats we are so frightened of. In fact, they are no more parasite or disease ridden than say a squirrel. These are simply robust country rodents. As is a bunny rabbit.
(for further enjoyment, you may want to read this interesting article in the Times regarding animal discrimination.)

Let's also remember that there are plenty of professional rats holding lofty research positions. These rats generally live at their place of work, as rats tend to eschew commuting.

So yes, we have rats... or 'rat' as it were. (I have had the trap out for several days since our first catch with no takers.)
Are there more?
Possibly.
Do we have a plan?
Most assuredly.

to be continued...

please note - that is neither me or my rat pictured above. I can barely trap one, let alone get one to sit on my shoulder.

The rodent of my discontent

Last year we instituted the Chipmunk Relocation Program to alleviate our suburban lot of an influx of these vermin. This overpopulation, we believe, was the direct result of losing our beloved cat that very winter. The chipmunks, bunnies, mice and even deer seemed to be rejoicing and moving in by the drove.

The FREE dog was only mildly interested



and at times seemed even excited about the prospect of more playmates.


so... no help there.

Our Relocation Program was completely ineffective. The trap relegated to a dark corner in the basement. We have simply given up on planting flowering bulbs, and walk with our eyes to the ground to avoid the new holes they keep making to gain access to their ever-growing elaborate tunnel systems.

Fast forward to this spring - my rodent-tolerant wife and I are clearing out the back of the garage. We pulled out all the stored patio and porch furniture, and re-organized the lawn tools and garden equipment. She then left me on my own to sort through all my ‘no-longer-needed’ toxic substances. During the tidying, I found that the mice had once again gotten into my grass seed. They chew a hole in the bag then climb in. I can tell because I find poop in the bag - which is really nasty considering they got in there with the intention to snack. This poop however ... was rather large.
I found this disconcerting.
So I dug out the ole chipmunk trap, loaded it with some apple and left the area.

I damned near forgot to check it the next morning. My track record is pretty poor, so checking the trap is really superfluous. I opened the garage door and peered into the dark.
Trap door was down…. Slowly synapses snapped… it began to register.
O!. Door is down – rodent on board?!
I flipped on the light to find a very frightened and seemingly sad… rat.
Yes.
A Rat.
And a big one at that.

We drove him over to the park, where he can make new friends and dine on fine cuisine left behind by tiny soccer players.

Back at the house however, this is a problem.
We have put up with the mice and the cute little rabbits and the rapidly reproducing chipmunks but this has gone too far.

My gentle wife counseled me that it was time to get professional help.

To be continued…

Twenty

Ferris is 20 - today.

(well... this is a 'G' rated blog)

Friday

tip-o-day

I am not a fan of cleaning products with added bleach.
Yes, I do love bleach - it has it's own special purposes and there's nothing like it, but it's a pretty caustic cleaner and should be use prudently.

There really is no good reason to bleach everytime you clean. If it needs bleach each time - you're not cleaning it often enough.
Plus... you'll need to change your clothes whenever you pull it out of the cabinet or you'll risk those egregious little bleachy dots.

Buy something natural instead. Then you can clean as you go and not worry about the environment or your wardrobe.

the babies

there are 4 or 5 ....

I was a little too excited taking this picture last evening.

updated pics


They were all SCREAMING at me. I think they thought I was going to feed them.
They all had their little mouths open and were peeping and shrieking. I was very tempted to give them something to eat. I read that Wrens eat primarily insects. But as a good Italian grandma I would be required to give them cookies instead.

I will get a better shot when I get home this evening. Stay tuned.

babies!

We closed off the main entrance to our home a couple weeks ago to host a family that chose to move in with us.
And now we have babies!!
Look closely in the picture for one little head sticking up with an open mouth. (click to make it bigger). We think there are three of them in there.

Then, I was able to get a shot of Mom...or Dad coming at the nest. We have seen two birds coming in and out for feedings.

Our neighbors down the street had babies too!
I caught a glimpse of these little guys on my way into work.



Last night my baby-lovin' wife and I drove by. When we pulled over to take their pictures the calves came bounding over to the fence to see us. They probably thought we were going to feed them something yummy.

the 'organic' FREE dog

As I have mentioned, we here at the weese's are going organic.
We are making broad changes to many parts of our consumable lives.
My environmentally sound wife has been making smarter choices at the grocery store. We are both learning about using more vegetable based cleaning and personal products. As well as cutting off our addicted yard and garden from all the toxic substances we have been applying over the years. I imagine my grass going through detox, jonesin' for some Scott's.

Personally, I am diligently working on my own addiction -the perfect green lawn.
So far I am reacting calmly and agreeably to dandelions, crabgrass and large patches of dead lawn.
My mantra is 'its all vanity'.
Having the perfect lawn is nothing but my own vanity.

This weekend we all got a taste of the organic (some more than others)...
My organically inclined wife shopped at a farmers market where local organic farmers were selling meats, cheeses and greens.
At home, I weeded dandelions - by hand. And applied organic fertilizer to the lawn.

We got the seal of approval on our lawn products from the FREE dog who we had to keep calling into the house before she licked the ENTIRE lawn.

Friday

tip-o-day

online fun with friends

and... with love, from my clever wife

It’s all too fast.

And frankly it’s getting tiring.

I long to live in a slower time. A time long gone. A time when we spent weeks on holiday, and days with friends, and hours reading, and long casual strolls for no other purpose than to stroll.

I got my bank statement yesterday and had to chuckle. The balance on the paper statement was several days old. So much had happened, my life had already changed. The balance now meaningless, the new balance fresh in my head from looking it up only hours ago… online.
I don’t want to have to know my balance everyday. But I must. Can’t be risking any of that identity theft. That can happen in a flash.
Can’t have that.
It all happens so fast.

I remember as a kid – watching my mom sit down in the evening at her desk to check her statement and balance her books. You could do that then. The balance on the statement most certainly matched the balance in your register. Ah yes – perhaps there was a check written here or there – but that would be neatly noted, and marked as outstanding …until your next statement. Checks were mailed. Then logged, then presented, then cleared… these things took time.

I want that time.

There was a time when we weren’t bombarded with 15 second visual images, a time before a 'snippet' even existed. When you might sit under a tree for an hour. Just to enjoy the tree.
There was waiting. You might need to wait for something or someone, and you would do just that – wait. No gameboy or cell phone, not even a book or magazine. You would just wait.

I want to wait.

Go back further. How about writing letters to communicate. Can you imagine? Waiting weeks to hear back from someone. You write a letter, drop it in the post and wait.
No instant response, no smiley face.

Perhaps you would write to a friend to inquire about a visit.

“Shall I visit in the Spring?” you might write before the winter holidays.

“Yes, yes please do come, I’ll arrange a room for you so you can stay till after solstice.” Your friend would write back, while beginning to go about the business of anticipating your arrival.

And so you would go to visit. You might arrive by carriage, with luggage and such – tho not several ginormous wheely bags filled with a store front full of clothes and a dozen shoes – no … you would have a case or if you were staying till midsummer a perhaps a trunk. You would stay with your friends, and have meals together and take walks and sit by the fire, and of course... have cocktails.

I want to visit.

Today, I am going to take my time. I am going to try to just slow life down, a little bit, as much as is reasonable while still getting through a regular day ...and not getting fired.

I will apologize in advance if you happen to be in the car behind me.

my earth, your earth

I like these folks.








I also like women... in all that they do.













o... and these folks as well -

feeling all earthy

It's Earth Week... well, technically tomorrow is Earth Day - but hey, why not stretch it out to a week.
You can read about it EVERYwhere, and get plenty of green tips online, on TV, even in the grocery store.

If you are so inclined to plant a tree, I have a link to the right there. Its nice, because someone else does the digging.

We are also planting some in our back yard.
Well... not exactly digging holes and planting saplings.
We are giving back more of our manicured lawn to the wilderness. It's a win/win situation. Less for us to maintain, more places for wildlife to find refuge in our busy suburban landscape, and all we have to do is sit back and watch it grow.

watts that you say

An update on the kill-o-watt research. Sorry no charts or graphs yet, but I am pressed for time to do a proper presentation. Someday I will quit my day job to do full time environmental research. I could start now if y’all wanted to make substantial donations - let me know, I take paypal.

I will tell you this so far...
Where the online calculator told me that our dinosaur-fridge cost us $152 a year to run - my figures show it to be only about $125.
That's still a whole-heck-of-a-lot more than the new model we want, which will bring the annual cost down to a little over 40 bucks. This alone makes me pretty happy with this little device.

During my research I have found one drawback of the meter is its two decimal limitation. When you're being billed at .000000 - more granular data would be helpful

This constraint could taint my findings on cell phone chargers. I had read that the chargers draw power even when there is no cell phone attached. Knowing the limitations of the device I left the charger plugged into the kill-o-watt for three days.
It still reported 0 watts used over all that time. While this still may not be completely accurate – can I consider its draw insignificant? Perhaps I need to leave it plugged in longer and add a projection calculation to my spreadsheet to be sure.

This is where we are so far. Maybe a pie chart next. Or maybe just some pie.

woops

Did I forget to wish my beautiful wife a HAPPY HAPPY birthday yesterday?

nope... I simply forgot to tell you all.

detox

I was visibly nervous, my eyes doing that darting around thing.
My hands trembled as I cut open the bag with my recently sharpened Swiss Army knife.
The smell hit me immediately, and I recoiled. Taking the cue I put on vinyl gloves before I carefully poured the product into the hopper.
The application was easy enough, but I was really only concerned with the result. I had to keep reminding myself that I was doing something good. Repeating the mantra in my head – its vanity, its just your ego.

In the end, it felt good.
Now it’s just a waiting game. Will it still feel good when it all goes to hell? Will I be able to stand tall and proud of my contribution… without excuses, without gloating.

Time will tell.



...and yes, I know exactly what Milorganite is.

Friday

tip-o-day

I am generally a big proponent of following the rules.
Rules appeal to my organized nature and tend to calm me and make me happy.
But we shouldn't follow rules mindlessly.
Don't forget to think.

For example, it's not important that you stay in the lines when you color.
However... staying in lines while driving is.

Do you see the difference?

weese's wildlife wonderland

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that some birds had made our holiday(would you just take it down) wreath into their home.

Well after that day it seemed the nest had been deserted. I thought perhaps the mother bird thought better of her chosen location. Perhaps because of the constant traffic in and out of the house. Tho the only traffic would be my petite wife and I coming and going from work.
I thought maybe the noises inside the house may have disturbed her. On the inside of the her chosen wall is a kitchen counter and the most used cabinets. I am sure the noise of the cabinet doors banging shut and the chopping of vegetables and such carried right through to the nest.

Admittedly, I was somewhat concerned about the inconvenience and the mess - but when I saw no further signs of her I was actually a little sad.

Well, last night when I came home from work we startled each other as I approached the kitchen door.
So I hurried inside and sat quietly in the foyer for a long time and watched her visit two more times. Quick visits...in and out. Not sure what that means - but that was enough for me...

The entrance has been closed off.


I added some warnings in the house as well- because we are all so programmed to leave out that door.


I also snuck a very quick peak into the nest and saw tiny pinkish eggs.

yay.

its one of those...

I needed something fun and easy to do today.
This seemed to fit the bill.
(plus I had this odd feeling Sassy was talking to me).

Couples Meme.
1. How long have you been together?
23 years, or several lifetimes.

2. Who pursued who?
Have you seen my wife?… I totally pursued.

3. Do you wear any type of wedding/commitment ring? If so, which hand?
We each wear a plain band which we picked together a million years ago. We also each have a diamond anniversary band. She surprised me with mine at 10 years, and I surprised her at 15. Both bands are on the ring finger of the left hand.

4. What was the hardest thing about learning to live together?
Hmm, that was a long time ago… I really don’t remember.

5. Who takes longer to get ready in the morning?
I do. I am vain.

6. Do you usually eat breakfast together?
On weekdays we have coffee together (in the summer it will be on the patio). On weekends there may be food involved. Mostly because I am hungry all the time.

7. Do you ever share clothes?
No. Except for the occasional pair of socks. Sometimes I need just the perfect sock.

8. Who does most of the cooking?
My Italian wife does the cooking. She cooks for everyone. It’s possible I would starve to death without her.

9. Who usually takes out the trash?
Who ever gets there first – tho if its winter and dark I take it out to the can outside.

10. If you have pets who usually does litter box or poop patrol?
My animal loving wife handles yard excrement. She is very good at it.

11. Which one of you is more likely to answer the phone when it rings?
We have caller ID – so if it’s TheDaughterTheTherapist my chatty wife will answer and they will gab the evening away. If it’s Ferris, I will answer. He and I are both all business and spend just enough time on the phone to get the facts across. My motherly wife will inevitably ask me when I hang up how he’s doing in school or when he is coming home – my answer is always - I don’t know.

12. Who's in charge of the remote if you're watching TV together?
ME. My highly technical wife has some sort of remote-dyslexia.

13. Who usually drives when you go out together?
Generally I do. For several good reasons. I tend to get car sick as a passenger. Her car (the Jeep) drinks gas faster than I drink a beer. She doesn’t see so well at night, for which she has glasses, which are usually on the hook in the kitchen.

14. Which one of you takes care of spiders and bugs that get into the house?
My spiritual wife requires that we ‘relocate’ any species that has inadvertently gotten into our house. I usually do this relocating.

15. Facing the bed, who sleeps on which side?
Me on the left… my cuddly wife in the middle.

16. Who usually checks the (postal) mailbox?
My organized wife loves to get the mail. She will ask me to fetch it when the temperature dips below 20.

17. If something breaks or goes wrong in the house, which one of you is more likely to either fix it or call someone to fix it?
I fix broken things. But we work on big projects together. If, I completely screw it up as a last resort we need to call someone – I do that, since I am the one who is familiar with the mess I made project.

18. Who is generally the neater of you?
We are both tidy. I tend to clean more –but only because I enjoy the process.

19. Who handles the checkbook/pays the bills?
It's somewhat split. She does the mortgage and all the college stuff because she keeps detailed spreadsheets on our finances. I do utilities and every day stuff. The funny thing is – all our money is in my name (for financial aid reasons) and I have no idea where it is, how much there is and what its intended purposes are.

20. What was your last fight/disagreement about?
We are both in peri-menopause, do you really want to ask this question…
it probably started about a dixie cup in the bathroom and morphed into the choice to use powder or liquid laundry detergent, which will inevitably lead to a lively discussion about why the dog smells so bad and that ‘someone’ really needs to bathe her, which begs the question of what to do about painting the exterior trim this summer, and why is it that garage door opener light has not been updated to fluorescent, and how will we solve global warming and when the hell are you going to do something about world peace and then finally what’s for dinner, lets have a cocktail….

21. When you slow dance together, who leads?
Hmm, is someone supposed to lead. Hmm, we’ll try that next time.

22. What do you love the most about your other half?
She is not any half, we are both whole… which may be what I love most about her.
Ah … but then there are her eyes, her laugh, her smell, her hair, her wit, her softness, her sarcasm, her creativity, her playfulness, her delicious skin, the small of her back, her sexy neck, her silly side, her…

ok... now I'm pissed

seething even...

first - the background.

Ferris called us in the middle of the night a couple weeks ago (St. Patricks day in fact). He had been stopped by the police on campus walking back to his room from a party. He had been carrying a beer in his pocket, which he thought better of and tossed in a garbage can as soon as he saw the police. Evidently the cop heard the toss and went to look in. He found the beer and ticketed Ferris with 'minor in possession of alcohol."

Ferris was livid. The cop really had no proof that the beer was his, and when Ferris questioned the officer about that, he was told to take it up with a judge.
I calmed him as best I could on that late night call. The next day I did a little research and counselled him on my findings. It seemed from my research that the first offense was simply an infraction. Tho he must be wary of a second offense. We talked about the fact that if he went to court he would be asked about the beer directly and how did he want to handle that. He was... understandably, uncomfortable with lying, and we felt an admission of guilt may simply result in further fines.
He took the high road. As he does. Took responsibility for his actions, as a man should.
I was proud of him, and told him so. I also told him that he was also following OUR rules which are not to drink and drive- which is the most important.
I told him he was wise, and that we could put this behind us now.

Yesterday, we received a letter from the DMV - suspending his license for 60 days, with yet another fine to reinstate it.

WHAT?!?

He was no where near a car.
He's a college kid - with ONE beer.
Not a case of beer.
Not a keg of beer.
Not whiskey.
Not drugs.
No where near a CAR!
He was bothering no one, committing no acts of vandalism or violence.
Here is an upstanding kid, with a wonderful GPA, walking to his dorm room on campus - with ONE FREAKIN' BEER.

I am so tired of being the middle class grunt who has to pay for this system to run.
If we were poor - we simply wouldn't pay the ticket. The ramifications lost on our economic status.
If we were rich we would have lawyered up and gotten out it, with no penalty but to the pocket - the deep pocket. No harm, no foul, no lesson learned.

But No... we are good upstanding citizens taking responsibility for our actions - and losing.

What lesson are we teaching our kids? This is not one that I would teach.

This boy doesn't work - he goes to school, and doesn't have the money to cover these fines let alone a lawyer.
We sacrifice to give our children a higher education. And now we are forced to reach into our shallow pockets to support a system that will send my son to war, yet punish him for being a good kid, struggling to get an education, taking responsibility, and having a beer.

Friday

tip-o-day

Instead of using wrapping paper on your next gift, why not just pop your gift into a handy re-usable shopping bag! They're .99¢ at most places and almost everyone can use one more. And if they have enough... they can always use it to re-gift to someone else.


Now, if you really want to take 're' to another level. Fill the re-usable bag with gifts from the earth.

We just filled a couple of these for friends birthday's last week.

My horticultural wife went skampering around the yard collecting bulbs and tubers of some of her favorite flowers.


We re-used some old cotton shears to wrap up each type of plant.


Look how cute...


My creative wife re-purposed the old curtain tie backs to make little tags to identify each type and offer planting tips.


Then we popped them all into the re-usable bag.

whala!


still collecting kill-a-watt data... i will post the spreadsheet next week.

killing watts

This is too fun. Everyone should have one of these.

I ran all over the house last evening checking Watts. To get accurate readings I realize I will need to leave appliances plugged for some time - but I was so excited...

Here's the KW in the kitchen, checking the under cabinet halogen lighting:

(hmm, 66 watts - that's alot)















Then I wanted to check the watts drawn by a cell phone charger with no cell phone attached. I read somewhere that these draw power even when they are not in use.
But the KW is reporting 0. Hmm - more testing is needed in this area.






My patient wife put up with me plugging and unplugging her laptop while she was trying to use it. She is so good to me.


















I plugged in the TV/DVR last night for a longer duration test (which of course includes downtime and ontime). Right now, the fridge is plugged in for an 8 hour test cycle.
... working on my spreadsheet now.

giddy

A friend of mine at work is letting me borrow this...

I am so excited.

Kill A Watt^TM will measure the wattage that our electrical devices are using simply by plugging them into it.

I am particularly interested in measuring the 'dinosaur that keeps our food chilled'.
In doing some online research I have learned that we may save as much as $120 dollars a year by replacing this ancient beast.
But this nifty little device will give me solid proof where the web-based calculators leave me wondering.

and yes... I am already working on my spreadsheet.

A tiny little hole in our hearts

I woke Sunday morning to find my early-rising wife at the table catching up on her March Madness standings.
I noticed in the garden next to the patio there were two squirrels busily eating up seeds and nuts and such. The FREE dog had not seen them yet – so I let them go about their business for awhile.
When I finally let her out she had her fun chasing them up a tree.
So the next time she whimpered to go out I assumed they had returned for more tasty nuts.
I watched as she darted out the door and then was horrified to see she was after a cat.
I ran out after her to call her off the poor thing. She rolled the cat once but the cat was able to get away and up a tree. Once I was finally able to get the FREE dog back into the house the cat jumped out of the tree and ran away.

Whew.

Not to long after that my worried wife called me out to the back yard. She told me she had just seen the FREE dog out in the yard and watched her ever so gently place something on the ground and then walk very slowly away.

We ran out to find a very tiny kitten.
Eyes still closed, but not freshly born – maybe a week or so old.
The kitten was breathing, tho labored.

We wrapped the little fluffy fellow in a towel and brought him in.
My now very worried wife went out to look for more. I consulted the Great And Powerful Internet for advice, the little orange kitten laying next to the laptop on the table snuggled in a hand towel.

We got some warm water to clean him up a bit. He had a wound – tho it didn’t look deep. The FREE dog must have been very gentle. I stroked his little head and he responded well to the attention.
I called a local emergency vet and got further advice on how to care for this very new very tiny little life.

As we coddled over him, my allergic-to-cats wife and I discussed how we would care for him over the coming weeks. I planned to bring him to the office so I could feed him several times during the day. We planned to get up every couple of hours for night feedings.
I whispered in his little furry ears that he was safe now and that he was home.

Despite our best efforts and noblest of intentions our little kitty died. Right there on the dining room table. We were comforted by the fact that he died with us, warm and loved – rather than out in the backyard in a pile of leaves.
My saddened wife named him Shere Kahn – for he was brave.

He has been laid to rest in our yard, right next to our other warrior.

be there in the dark

Friday

tip-o-day

I have berated and teased about taking down Holiday decorations in a timely fashion.
It's simply inappropriate to have them up past their time.

Ah.. but - there are other, practical reasons to follow these rules.


Yes, that's ours.

We took the bows and decorations off our holiday wreath this year and thought we would just keep the natural greens until the end of winter. It looked so welcoming right there next to the door.
Earlier this month we joked about leaving it up until after Easter.
And we did.
It was a joke.

Now, its a home.

When I told my coddling-wife of this discovery she was thrilled.

So... if you come to visit us within the next 4-8 weeks - expect to see a sign at the end of the walk redirecting you to another entrance, as well as a tarp on the porch floor under the new family (this is mostly for me).

misbegotten

I work in a pleasant enough environment.

I have a little heater under my desk, because my blood seems to slow down to a crawl when I sit in front of the computer for more than 15 minutes at a time.

I was able to turn off all the bright, fluorescent lights over my space, because I feel they rot my brain.

I have several toys (and other fun things) in my warm, dark cubicle.
We have soothing fish to view and feed and tend to.

All the free coffee you can drink, subsidized food and soda, bagels on Fridays... and right now they are having a cookie break, complete with milk, in the lunch room.

Seems nice...huh?

Then why is it our Administrative Coordinator has no choice but to keep sacred office supplies - such as spiral notebooks, in a locked cabinet.

These things confound me.

testing, testing

After my last incident with headphones I thought it might be wise to branch out a bit.

I thought I would give the earbuds a try.

So far so good.

It's a good thing I peed

On my way home from work last night I was pulling through an intersection in my very busy office complex when my Cabrio decided to stop... all systems shut down... in the middle of the intersection. Just my luck a Semi was headed directly for me. There was a brief moment of panic after I switched on the hazard lights and tried to jump out to wave at the driver of the really big truck hurtling at me... only to be stopped by my seat belt (hmm, safety first?).

The driver was a pro - he had noticed immediately that my car was in distress and even parked his truck across the lanes so no on-coming traffic would plow into me.
He got out and pushed my car neatly to the side of the road and went on his way. The world is filled with nice people.
It was a busy time of evening so I ended up waiting in the car for about an hour for a tow. I had plenty of time to think... it was quiet and really quite nice, except a little chilly. But I was thankful it was not below freezing, I was very thankful I had remember my gloves that morning, and even more thankful I peed before I left work.
Always-- ladies, always pee before you go.

So I am working from my home today. And you know what that means.
Yup... distractions.

I tossed in a load of laundry - thinking this would not really take me away from my day job too much. But then I remember that the dryer seemed to be taking too long, so I stepped outside to peek at the vent on the roof.

Hmm.
Looked clogged.

Ok - welp, in order to get my work done, I clearly need to dry this load of clothes, and in order to do that I clearly need to clean out this vent.

The problem really lies in the fact that its on the roof.

weese doesn't do roofs.

So I needed to devise a tool. Won't take long I figured, I'll be back to my day job in no time at all.
Down to the workshop to gather some supplies.











(the hammer? ...well you never know)








I made this.









Put up a ladder.


Then, using a second pole to keep the weather flap open - I was able to clean out a good bit of lint.


And... no injuries. I was back at my day job in less than an hour. The drying is purring away right now.

Ok... really, now I have to get back to work... right after I...

happy fish

I like fish... like fish in a tank... like fish which are pets.

I like sushi as well - tho I suppose this is somewhat of a conflict of interest... in context of this post.

For the purposes of this entry lets assume that each time I mention 'fish' I am thinking of them in their pre-sushi state.


And so... I like fish.

We have a tank here at the office, and each day I spend some time with them.

I pull a chair up close to the tank and simply watch. They don't seem to mind.

They make me peaceful.
They bring me joy.

Accomplices

We went to pick Ferris up from the airport the other night.
We arrived a few minutes early and my eager wife and I were milling about the baggage claim area when the first call came in.

Ferris: Where are you guys?
Weese: In baggage claim.
Ferris: Well you could get the car…
Weese: Not to worry, we scored an excellent spot very close by.
Ferris: Umm… ok

My obliging wife decides… what the heck… and goes to pull up the car.
She’s cute that way.

I pick out a chair near the baggage belt and sit patiently waiting doing a little people watching.

Second call.

Ferris: Where are you?
Weese: I am still in baggage claim, Mom went to get the car a couple of min…
Ferris: Ok, I need you to go to the car… do you understand?
Weese: Yup... on my way – how about if we wait out in the parking lot, rather than by the curb.
Ferris: That would be better. Bye

See… I have a knowing.

I go out to the curb to find my waiting wife.

Weese: Ok we need to drive away.
My Confused Wife: Huh..Drive? Where, why?
Weese: Actually, um… we need to go back into the parking lot.
My Frugal Wife: Hmm, I just paid to get OUT of the parking lot??

So we circle the airport as I explain the second call.

We decided to park near the curb but far away enough to be ignored if necessary.
Ferris walks across the street and waves – this must mean the coast is clear so we pull up.

Weese: So …what was it?
Ferris: She was so hot.



Friday

tip-o-day

Forgive me...I should have given you this tip at the start of the long, cold winter season - tho I suppose you can apply it to windy March days as well.

When you go to a restaurant or place of business... but really this applies mostly to restaurants - where they have installed two doors, with a space between them - please refrain from opening both doors at the same time.
I see this all the time, especially with families. They open the first door and the family starts to pile into what might be a small space between the doors, then they open the second door while the first door behind them is still open and start piling in and tussling with coats and chatting back and forth at one another.
I am sure you have seen this - and I am sure you have been the recipient of the cold gust of air as a result.

There are two doors for a reason.
The business went to great expense to install the second door to keep their patrons comfortable.
So please, open the first door, gather your family together if you must - then allow the first door to close prior to opening the second door.
This way - the folks inside can stay warm and toasty, as the proprietor intended.

Small kindnesses.

LOOK!

Look at my new office toy!

wait...

We have an agenda?!?
Why am I always the last to know these things.

(I discovered these gems through some blogger pals)


Oh... what the heck, while I'm at it - try this too.

Friday

tip-o-day

O sure… I may come off as a know-it-all, with my tips and suggestions – but I am also the first to admit when I’m not. In manysome cases I am even an idiot.
So today’s tip is something that hit me in the forehead with an audible ‘DUH’.

My ardent wife and I enjoy lighting candles in our bedroom. It sets a wonderfully serene, sultry mood, and the dancing lights are a pleasure to watch wrapped in our warm sheets.
The problem has always been… that ‘someone’ (where are those servants when you need them) must, at some point prior to sleep, extricate themselves from the aforementioned warm sheets to blow the damn things out.
Ugh.
Sometimes its just easier to not light them at all.

Duh.

tealights

We burn them in small glass holders, and they go out by themselves in about 2 – 3 hours.
My clever wife had the idea to put up a small shelf so we could easily see the happy flames flickering from bed.

You can check in but....

They called it a hotel but it screamed motel to me. The furnishings were dated, but clean. We had a second floor room overlooking the parking lot. And when I say overlooking I mean through an enormous picture window. Our room was really more of a small apartment. We had a sitting area with a small TV, on one of those 70’s style TV carts with the wheels. I wondered briefly if it might be black and white. There was a kitchenette with that fantastic white speckled Formica sporting chrome edges. On the other side of that wall there was the bed with a chenille coverlet and a small bureau.
The red slip-covered sofa was saggy and surprisingly comfortable. The slipcover even smelled freshly washed. This, of course, pleased me.


We had just come in from being out… possibly to dinner… and we left the lights off as we came in. There was a sultry ambient light streaming in the giant window from the street lights across the parking lot. It only added to the already garish, somewhat surreal atmosphere.

In that light, settled into our cheesy surroundings I found myself feeling a bit amorous… in a pulp novel sort of way. After all these years my sultry wife knows in a glance where my mind is. She shot me back a look that was devilish and playful. In a place like this, really there are only two ways to feel; the first being mildly grossed out, or this fictional, seedy sexiness in a grungy, slumming sorta way.

We settled onto the couch, bathed in that pale yellow light from the night life outside, kissing and fondling like teenagers.
My steamy wife lifts her head throwing her hair back and mentions, almost in passing, that the fire flares out the window were so romantic… casting a red color, intensifying our passion.

I sat bolt upright. That passion sloughing off like rain water.

Fire flares? Out the window? Huh?!

We both stood slowly, and approached the large window tentatively. In the distance we saw red flaring, bright flames shooting skyward. Not fire though, more like explosions.
Then in the distance, tiny lights approaching through the night sky. It took a minute before we realized they were planes, and then another moment to understand they were fighter planes. Some of them prop jobs– like from the Big War. I am not sure why this didn’t surprise me, this coalescing of era’s, but we were under attack and didn’t really have time to ponder such trivialities.

We hit the floor prone as the planes flew over our hotel. Fearing the unseen pilots would notice us in that giant window and open fire. I imagined them to have those machine guns mounted under the wings like I had seen in the movies.

After they passed we knew we needed to spring to action. Our eyes met briefly – the look so different than the one we just shared moments before. I told my frightened wife that we should grab our bags, packing quickly and most likely having to leave behind many of our belongings. In my minds eye I saw our green luggage in the closet and items strewn around the bed and in the bathroom. I started to try to think about what was where and what to grab – our belongings from home kept mixing with these thoughts and I had to keep correcting my inner eye to remind myself we were not home – but we sure needed to get there.
With all this noise going on in my own head it took a moment to register the next sound.
The slow, heavy sound of tires on sand. A sort of grating, crunching noise – but it seemed bigger than tires. My shaky wife and I went to the smaller side window only to see, in disbelief, a tank pulling into the far parking lot with a soldier walking beside it easily able to keep up to its slow pace. It turned its great treads on a dime and stopped as if to park in a parking space, though it took up most of a row.

Forget the bags – we had to go …now.

We made our way down the darkened back stairs and snuck out the side door to the car. Running off on foot didn’t occur to me. In retrospect, I am not sure why.

With all the clamor outside I wasn’t too worried about the sound of the car, it was the lights that I feared would give us away. My little green convertible has daytime running lights; these come on as soon as the emergency brake is released. I reasoned we could simply drive with the brake pulled slightly – one problem solved. Then I remembered the brake lights. Perhaps I should just smash them, but my cautious self got the better of me –so I opened the trunk to pull the bulbs. The trunk light went on, but it seemed dim enough not to cause a stir. I was wrestling with the light covers when…

when… I woke up.

Ok.. who the hell dreams like this?

Office supplies

I like to keep some cleaning supplies at the office. Also, this time of year(cold and flu season) I keep Lysol on hand as well as that hand sanitizer stuff.

Well, and a couple other things... just in case.

How many pages in a tree

60 catalogs so far.







5:15 pm
I just got home to find 5 more in the post today. FIVE more. Will it ever end?