Who needs chipmunks

While my Italian-wife is busy preparing meatballs for the chipmunks, let's go off on a tangent.

Last year we had a problem with slugs in the garden near our kitchen door.

This year we thought we would be a bit proactive. So we put out cups of beer before we started to see any damage. As you know, slugs just can't resist a frothy cup of brew.

So I go out the other night to set out some really cheap (and nasty) beer.
Slugs are not beer snobs...and evidently neither are some other forms of wildlife in our area.

When we checked the cups the next morning - they were empty. Not only empty but in different locations. Clearly they were not lapped empty, as... say... the FREE dog may have done - something must have picked them up and sipped.
I also noticed the garbage had also been tipped over.

Now - what sort of animal lives in suburbia, tips over garbage, and has the dexterity to knock back a cup of beer?

Somewhere out there, right now, in the back yard - there is a raccoon with a hangover.

I am going to put out more beer tonight. Let's see if he pushes through the pain for a little "hair of the dog".

Variable 2

It has been brought to our attention that the chipmunks may actually be dining elsewhere...

CRP update

As discussed, we have created a plan to test the Retrival Process by changing one variable with each CRP Retrival session. The first variable to be addressed was 'Location'.

On Friday, my hardworking wife had the day off from work, and handled the implementation of the CPR Single Variable Change Process - also known as SVCP.
She updated me on CRP SVCP progress throughout the day. She was also working closely with our CRP Assistant.

Here are the updates I received throughout the day:

9:36:23 E.S.T.
"I inspected the RTD. One noteworthy observation... chipmunks may not want to share bait with ants."


10:12:23 E.S.T.
"Earlier this morning, our CRP assistant was stalking an area in the stonewall by the smoke pit.

I moved the RTD to this new location, installed fresh bait, and reset the trapdoor (I think)."


10:32:23 E.S.T.
Let's see if our CRP assistant leaves the bait alone.



...Later that evening - the CRP Assitant spent a good deal of time monitoring the trap.


I suppose its needless to say ... no chipmunks yet.

Cheers

It’s one of those decisions – to travel light or not. I chose to travel light…which means I had nothing with me that didn’t fit in my pocket.
Therefore, I have no pictures.

But NYC was an incredible amount of fun.
Others have pictures; I know…I saw the flashes.
Let’s see what gets posted.


(CRP update is in the works…)

NYC bound

To meet some famous people.

Friday

tip-o-day

Time to let the grass grow long.
When the summer heat starts to rise -- raise your mower deck a couple of notches. The longer grass will shade the roots, and also cause the grass to developer stronger, deeper roots.
For me this is a particularly tough stage, as I like my grass crew cut short for tidyness. But leaving it tall will pay off in the long run.

Also, it's a myth that clippings on the lawn cause thatch. However I generally remove them so that they are not tracked into the house. But at this time of year leave your clippings if you can as they contain alot of moisture. Mulching mowers are ideal.

note: my boss is away until the end of next week - and while one might think this should make blogging particularly easy, I am the pinch hitter.
I do have a CRP update and hope to get it posted tonight or sometime this weekend.

Changing variables

First, let me thank you all for the great suggestions. Please keep 'em coming. Clearly we can use the help, as the end of day 2 still brings us no chipmunks.

We have considered perhaps adding crackers or chips, possibly a brand change even chipmunk porn... and possibly relocation of the RTD.

After much discussion and some speculation - we have settled on changing the collection site as the first course of action.
(And while inviting them in to share the Barco lounger and the Hi-Def channels is clever - its sorta what we are trying to prevent.)
We will keep the same incentive, as its important to change only one variable at a time for an accurate test.

...and so we will select a new site this evening.
Remember, "Chipmunks are easy to catch, and can be caught with little effort."

CRP Retrieval Day One

We set the trap in its first location.

It's very discreet, and filled with yummy Jif.
The placement is so clever, you can barely see it... so I circled it for you.


I checked it a little later...

Notice the door is still in the open position. You see - when the chipmunk enters the RTD (Retrieval Transport Device) they quickly move to the back to acquire their Retrieval Incentive (Jif), and thereby tripping the lever which closes the door. This assures their safety during transport to their new location.

I will come back and check again later.


Later that evening, I check again.
The door is still open. I check the Jif - seems fine, still looks tasty.

I begin to wonder if chipmunks are nocturnal, and plan to bring it up at our next CRP status meeting. Perhaps we will form a committee to do some independent testing and research on the chipmunk habits. This research could certainly speed the Retrieval process, and becoming more familiar with our client will surely increase participation.


I check the RTD this morning.

Hmm, still no chipmunks...

And so it begins...

Through research done for the CRP I have learned that:
"Chipmunks are easy to catch, and can be caught with little effort."

This is good news. We are excited about the project.



We have selected our Retrieval Incentive:


The first Retrival Site has been selected and the trap (tho we like to call it the Relocation Transport Device or RTD) is in place.

And so we wait for the Chipmunks to come streaming in.

bravo Italia

What to do when its a beautiful day - but you still want to watch the World Cup?

Friday

tip-o-day
Rotation cleaning.
This is a method I use to save time and not get behind on my cleaning.
Each week when you do your cleaning, pick one room and wipe all the tops of the doors and windows, picture frames, baseboards etc. If you do one room each time the task is not nearly as daunting and these small out of the way areas won’t have to wait for a big seasonal clean.

Also, if you have mini blinds – you will find that if you give them a quick vacuum every other week – you won’t have to take them down and try to wash them in the tub or the back yard to get the caked-on dust off (dust should never be caked on to anything).
It’s not as time consuming as you may think. While you are running the vacuum around just pop on the brush tool, close the blinds and vacuum. If you are wearing the ‘vacuum tool belt’ it’s made all the easier.

Chipmunk Chronicles

After doing some research we have made some important decisions regarding the Chipmunk Relocation Program (CRP). The first was to, of course, come up with that nifty acronym. (Logos and marketing materials are with our design group now)

Relocation Site Selection
Research has been done to select a desirable Relocation Site for any chipmunks brought into the Program. The site had to meet certain criteria:

- adequate food supply
- available water
- compatible fauna
- 5 mile distance from site of origin

We think we have come up with the perfect location, where added features also include – a walking/biking trail and close proximity to back roads. Because as you know, chipmunks derive great joy from running in front of fast moving objects. We think it may actually be a competitive sport.
The new site is actually a tad under 5 miles. So we are planning a ‘Test Phase’ which may include marking and tracking the first chipmunks to participant in the CRP.

Next on our agenda, and to be discussed at our next regularly scheduled meeting, will be Retrieval Locations and Incentives.

It’s a jungle out there

It seems that ever since our beloved cat passed away last year we are overrun with wildlife. Not only has every bird in town moved to our yard, but the rodent population is booming as well. We really had no idea our cat worked that hard.
We always knew he was an amazing hunter. He brought home a variety of cute, cuddly, fluffy creatures from rabbits to mice to birds and I often suspected that cat could take down a deer. Oddly, since he has passed, a family of deer has also moved into the back yard.

So we are dealing with the deer, and trying to get along with the birds, despite the fact that we have to deal with the damn Doves fornicating all over place.

But when all of the crocus and hyacinth bulbs got eaten we needed to stop the madness.
They were eaten by chipmunks.
We have way too many chipmunks.

The chipmunks are living in the laps of luxury now. They are procreating at astounding rates and we have created a safe haven for them inside of our fence. You see, the fence keeps all the neighborhood cats out – so there are no predators for them to fear. Our lumbering Free Dog is no match for the speed of these cute rodents… tho she continues to try.

We must bring down the chipmunk population.
That is our quest.
Our plan is to start a chipmunk relocation program.


We have purchased one of these:



we went with the model 0745 – specifically designed for chipmunks.

I will keep you posted on our progress.

Friday

tip-o-day

Bleach.
I love bleach.
Are you surprised?

I actually use very little of it in the laundry. But oh my ...so many other uses.

Today's bleachy goodness is one of the many outdoor uses for bleach.
Do you have cement steps? We do… off the mudroom door. These are the steps used by muddy garden feet, muddy dog feet, and other generally filthy types of feet.
Cement steps such as these can begin to look stained and dingy.
There is no worry that these stains will be tracked into the house - as they are engrained in the porousness of the cement. Of course that logic never stopped me from cleaning something.
To brighten them up, mix the standard 1 to 3 ratio of bleach to water in a bucket. Using a scrub brush (I have one on a long handle so there is no bending) just scrub the solution lightly onto the surface and sides. Leave it sit for 15 minutes or so and then rinse.
If you have plantings and/or grass surrounding your steps, be sure to water them first and then a good rinse after to dilute the washed off bleach.

Note: I prefer Clorox bleach. I have not had good luck with off-brands on my whites.

Can you hear this?

Someone told me yesterday that kids are downloading a new ringtone that adults can't hear. Oh sure, this may be old news to you...but rememeber, I stopped reading the news over a year ago. (Hello, my name is weese, and I am a former news junkie)

Anyway, being the rational and extremely intelligent person that I am - I immediately scoffed...

So - take a moment and listed to this.

Did you hear anything? How old are you?

My people

Now that the hangover has subsided… a couple of words about Pride.
What an amazing thing – so many people, from so many places. This was not only my first Pride but also my first time wandering around Greenwich Village. I loved it. It’s a fascinating little neighborhood and you can just feel the history of the place. It has amazing energy. So did the parade. The energy was great. I felt at home.
This is one reason why my wife and I love Ptown so much. It’s that feeling of being home. Its funny how I can feel so connected to all these gay people that I don’t know who are all so very different – butch, femme, dykes on bikes, drag queens, flames, transgenders, short or thin or rich or poor… edgy and conservative. These are all my people. I love these people.
I loved being a part of this thing.

NYC Pride 2006

I have lived within an hour’s drive of New York City for 44 years.
I have been ‘out’ for the last 26 years.
My fun wife and I have been together for 21 years.
Neither of us had ever been to NYC Pride.
I highly recommend it – tho don’t wait as long as we did.

Friday

tip-o-day
My grandmother taught me to keep all the windows and blinds in the front of the house at the same level (include side windows if they are seen easily from the street with the front ones).
Makes for a tidy appearance.
It helps if window dresssings across the front of the house are of the same type. If you have teens who balk at having their shades up... like ours - simply move them to the back of the house - or perhaps have them live with relatives.

I also don't allow fans or window air conditioners in any of our front windows.
Really - I would rather be hot.

Its over

Because you should have something special to wear to graduation.













(in case you need garment background...go here and here and where it all started)


and here he is...

His IM away message yesterday:
"After today, i won't see 95 percent of you again, for the rest of my life."

Class of '06

Look what we did this morning...


and last night we did this:


We have one more trick up our sleeves...

quick afternoon update
what do you get when you mix prednisone (see yesterday's post) with graduation day.
oy vay
I am a weepy whirling dervish...

12:00 Dr. appointment...

No time for posting today...I have to go to the doctor.
I have …what I think is... the strangest case of poison ivy.
The weirdest part of it is that it doesn’t itch.
Not that I am complaining about that.

Last night I said to my patient wife
“Look, I think this thing on my leg is getting better.”
Without missing a beat,
“You’re going.”



Later... that same day

welp. My Dr. is somewhat stumped - the best guess is that I have multiple things going on.

Therefore - we treat with:
prednisone
keflex
and a tetanus shot to boot.

(My adorable wife is nodding knowingly right now)

I love my doctor. She can give a shot or take blood and you would never know it. I didn't even feel my tetanus shot.
She chuckled when I said,

weese: "You're good! I didn't even feel that."
doc: "You will later."

On the way out she told me not to drink while on the Prednisone. So I told her she needed to get me off of it by Sunday - cuz we're going to Pride and startin' the day out with mimosas.
I love to make her laugh.
The doctor - patient relationship is one of give and take.

lush

My green-thumbed wife's roses are doing exceptionally well this year.

Friday

tip-o-day

Keep a box of vinyl or latex gloves in your kitchen pantry (I buy the box of 100).
Then they will be close at hand when you are cutting up chicken. Believe me... wear them when you are cutting up chicken - I had to make a trip to the ER because salmonella (most likely) had gotten into a small open cut on my hand.

My clever wife uses them when chopping up jalapeno’s, then no worries when you wipe your eyes and face sometime later.
I keep some in my workshop as well and don the whenever I am going to use a caustic material (you know, such as pesticides, herbicides perhaps paint or thinner... maybe some arsenic).

Love the Cabrio

I thought the forecast was for rain today - but when I went out at lunch to run errands it was sunny and beautiful.
Of course I put the top down.
Too bad I didn't know they were installing the automatic sprinklers today. They've got all the sprinkler heads in and working, I suppose the next step is to work on direction.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee

Off Road

Would you people who drive those jagumbo SUV’s please realize how ridiculous you look when you creep over bumpy spots in the road like your sitting behind the wheel of a Vette.

A woman at the bank

I went to the ATM… to take out cash – because Ferri$ runs on AAA batteries and twenty dollar bills.

An old woman was ahead of me. She was quite old, tiny, somewhat frail even.
As she tried to use the ATM she was clearly confused. Not sure how to put her card in… or what the buttons meant. As I considered helping her (banking is a very personal thing…I was aware that I might be intruding…or even frightening if I offered to assist with her banking), a woman behind me sighed heavily and went to her side.
She snatched the card from her and spoke cruelly “Just put it in THIS way! Then enter your number”, then almost shrilly “Your PIN, you MUST know your PIN!”
This younger woman (well…my age – not young) was clearly agitated. I assumed from the resemblance they were mother and daughter. Clearly they had some relationship.

The old woman continued to attempt to use the machine, asking questions as she went. She was not cross ...at all. She was simply confused, and probably overwhelmed.

When the other ATM machine freed up, I motioned to the younger woman “Please, go right ahead.” Again the heavy sigh… “Thanks but, I am going to be here a long time.” The disdain and meanness in her voice cut through me.

I can’t remember all her words but she continued to berate this small elderly woman, as I processed my transactions.

I try to always remember that there are facts I am not privy too. This is very important to me. This helps me to not be judgmental. This is why I have no road rage for example. If someone cuts me off – I realize that I don’t know their circumstances. Perhaps their child is hurt and they are in a rush, perhaps their dog got out of the fence and they need to get home quickly, perhaps they are in the middle of a divorce and just not thinking. How can I judge them without knowing all the facts?

Of course, that’s easier to do when you are in a car.
But standing right there – in the energy… this was hard.

Clearly this relationship had years of history which I knew nothing about. Perhaps this tiny gray woman was mean to her daughter, perhaps she abandoned her, geez she could have even beat her.

I didn’t know the facts.
But the truth of it was… I doubted it.
And the way this woman treated her mother – broke my heart.

The post in which I talk about my hair

let me just say first...that there are several people who, after reading this, will line up to shave my head. My scissored wife will be at the front of that line.

I used to wear my hair short.
Very short.

I wore my hair this way for ... a long time.

Then suddenly I started have a 'hair identity crisis'. I really can't put my finger on what started it - but the buzz started to feel a little too... perhaps… 'butch-cliché'.
This may be part of my mid-life crisis... but really I thought that’s what the convertible was all about.

I did this once before-- a couple years back… grew my hair out, although that was more for a change of pace than a crisis. I had a goal, and that was to grow it long enough to pull back. I was patient for close to two years. Well perhaps patient is not the right word… it was a pain staking two years. And, once I reached my lofty goal, I found that I really disliked having long hair. It was always in my face - it was a hassle to sleep at night - I was really only content with it pulled back, which basically looked like I had short hair anyway, so why all the fuss. Plus, I found out - I shed like a Labrador.
As soon as I reached the goal - off it came. Whew.

So why… why do I take this torturous path again. I don’t really know. And this is the real problem.
It’s that I don’t really know.

And so I review the Pros and Cons:

Buzz cut ‘Pros’

Easy to wash – saves on shampoo
No other maintenance necessary
Can wear hats without getting hat-head (love hats)
Does not require product (dislike product)
Requires frequent trims (a ‘pro’ for me as I love it when my sultry wife cuts my hair ;))

Buzz cut ‘Cons’

Mid-life lesbian identity crisis
Requires frequent trims (I can be relentless when I want a trim)
Can be mistaken for a teenage boy… albeit with gray hair and wrinkles

The Daughter, the therapist, is helping me work through my identity issues -- she has plans for my next style – which I am currently ‘growing into’ (she also has suggested I wear a barrett... she is so cute).
I am told it will be another couple months until I have the length to pull it off.
Anyone care to wager on whether I make it or not?

technical difficulties

trying to post
blogger sucks today
please wait

PTO

Personal Time Off.
PTO is to be used for scheduled vacation as well as unplanned illnesses.
How much does it suck when its both.
I scheduled Monday and Tuesday off as PTO, conveniently getting an unscheduled illness.

Friday

tip-o-day

In keeping with my theme from yesterday - today's tip is simply:

Conserve

I realize that I have used entirely too many paper towels today. I really need to get that in check. The more paper towels I use, the more paper towels they will have to make, if they have to make more paper towles for me the more trees they will need to cut down, if they have to cut down more trees to make more paper towels for me, the more water will be used to process the trees that were cut down to make the paper towels which I am overusing.

writingwomyn may collaboration

may 2006 assignment

What is your biggest fear (rational or irrational)? Describe it in detail: how does it start and manifest? Are other people aware of it? If there's a technical name for your phobia, give it. If not, make one up!

Have no fear.
Ha.
Well I am afraid of heights. That's pretty straight forward - high places frighten me. Acrophobia. Eh, big deal.

So what - did you want an irrational fear, perhaps a more interesting fear?
Oh.
OK.
Welp - its...

Water.
But no...it's not that simple.
I am not afraid of swimming or drowning or sharks in the water- not that kind of fear of water.
Its actually... using water. Yeah. Running water - out of the tap.
Into the drains, out into the septic, out into sewers, out to where ever it goes.

I suppose, hmm, I am afraid of running out? I am not really sure.

But I am afraid of people using too much water. This actually scares me. I mean really... I get moments of panic.

Like while showering, I think of all the people showering. Imagine an apartment building in Manhattan, may be 50 stories tall - how many people are showering, or flushing or brushing or running the dishwasher...
O...M...G... that is sooo much water. Just running.

It scares the crap out of me.
Go figure.

There, so now you know.



the fear of running water is Potamophobia. altho this doesn't capture the essence of my particular twist on this phobia.

its hot

I love New England.
I have heard (altho I am still sequestered in my warm, dark cubicle) that it is actually HOT outside.

I hear people walking around the halls bitching and complaining. I suppose these are the same folks who were upset with the cold last week.
You just can't please some people.

As for me, I rode in this morning with the top down and the wind in my hair.

Specifically ...the wind in my hair is something I will need to blog more about.

Friday

tip-o-day

Always wear something 'supportive' under your tutu.

monetarily frustrated...

and I have p.m.s.

consider yourself warned

Maintenance

My energetic wife and I had the last two days off from work. Since we are not taking a vacation this year (have I mentioned recently that we are sending Ferri$ to college) we like to just take some time off together and putter around the house and yard.
While I was out raking the pea stone around the patio yesterday (yes… you need to rake your pea stone), I came up with an idea for a new HGTV show.

“How to maintain your new expensive landscape that was just installed by a design team, landscape crew and battalion of laborers if you can’t afford a full time gardener.”

Have you ever seen these landscaping shows? The ones where they put in pools, and ponds with fish, and patios that fill the back yard – surrounded by trees and exotic perennials from around the globe. Then they do those before and after shots and the place looks phenomenal …like for a week. Do you have any idea what it takes to maintain this look? Well you better not plan to be spending your time sipping cocktails by your new Coy pond – you’re gonna be doing a lot more than raking pea stone.

Friday

tip-o-day

Well, it’s been 6 weeks since the 1st fertilizer application, and it’s now time for more.
This is one of my favorites – weed-n-feed.
This wonderful concoction will rid you of all those nasty dandelions, and many other icky broad leafed weeds. Because weed-n-feed contains herbicide there are some important points to note about its application.

First, the lawn must be moist when you apply. This allows the herbicide to stick to the leaves and work systemically. You can water your lawn before application, or if you have a big yard, its easier to simply apply early in the morning while the lawn is still wet with dew.
The other important factor is that you don’t want the herbicide to wash off the leaves to quickly – so apply when rain is not expected for at least 24 hours.
Be careful around flower beds with this application, as it will damage some desired plants.

If you followed both steps 1 and 2, in just a week or two you will start to see noticeable differences in your lawn. You may see people slowing down as they drive by to admire the deep green, weed free expanse of grass at your house, be sure to wave – because remember, it’s all about the curb appeal.

not to worry

My adoring wife will be home tomorrow.
As far as I can tell all of the other adults in the home are still thriving, albiet a bit thinner.

to follow up

yesterday's comments were so funny - I simply have to respond.

First, I should point out that part of the wonderful irony of yesterday's pic is that there are NO 'children' in our house.
Currently the Daughter and the adorable bo' are staying with us (due to some renovations). So, yes our numbers have increased and poor me, here I am home alone with all the ...adults.

I can't think of any funnier thing than to have my hardworking wife come home to find a newly installed stripper pole in the living room (is that the typical home-installation location?).

You may want to know that I generally do sing out in the back yard, often spinning around with my arms outstrected, sometimes in the rain. It's one of the reasons I am only allowed to have Cosmos when I am staying home now.

Welp, off I go to have a drink, maybe with some jam and bread.

under control

My doting wife is away on business this week. It’s been a very long time since she has traveled on business and she is somewhat concerned as to our survival for the next couple/few days.

Ever since her career change, from executive to devoted Italian mother we no longer know how to fend for ourselves. It may as well be magic – we all get out of the house on time in the morning with hot coffee and our lunches packed, there is always a meal prepared when we come home, the cabinets are well stocked and the kitchen is always tidy.

I told her not to worry… that I would have everything under control this week.

more excitement...

This HAS been a big weekend.

And now... to fawn over the other child.
May I present...
Older Daughter in her third graduation event (seen in chronolocal order below)

Older daughter graduates high school in 1999.



Older daughter getting her undergrad degree in 2003
Bachelor of Arts in Psychological Studies, with an Art minor

And today... older daughter getting her masters degree
Master of Arts in Art Therapy


and with her adorable bo'



stay tuned - we have heard there may be more graduations to go to...

just because I am so excited

wow.
We just got back from seeing the kids off to the prom.
The house we met at was colossal, they had a freaking 4 car garage… (just take a look at the staircase in the foyer) - there were two limos parked outside, a Hummer (Ferris's ride) and an Escalade.
They had about 20 couples there, all spiffied up for the big night.
Here are a couple shots for you.



some of the girls


some of the guys


the ride

Friday

tip-o-day

When ironing delicates – such as ties, or say…rented tuxedoes, be sure to use a cloth in between the iron and the wrinkled item. Some non-natural fabrics don’t react well to heat, and the cloth will also protect against any discolored water marks that your iron may leave behind.
Use a lightweight cloth with a tight weave, such as a hankie – never use a towel.

Yes, its prom night!

it doesn't get any better

My adorable wife heard it was going to rain for something like 10 more days... this morning while I was sipping my coffee before work and looking out the back window I saw her wandering around the yard in her robe and slippers, bending down here and there to poke seeds into the wet ground.
I love this life.

It's always something

As Ferris and I are standing in the rain last night in a failed attempt to jump his car in the high school parking lot.

weese: I hate cars.
ferris: I hate computers, at least with a car you've got a shot at fixing it.

~~~
Gotta go.
Heading back to the high school parking lot to take 'a shot at fixing it'.
But really... I would much rather be sitting her in my dry, warm cubicle with my computer taken apart all over the desk.

smile

I came to a stop sign on my way to work this morning, and a woman in a gigantic SUV came to the intersection on my right. The fact that she was in a gigantic SUV really has no bearing on this story... at least nothing plainly seen.

We reached the stop sign at about the same time, and so we both started to creep ...sorta feeling out the situation. I quickly smiled broadly and waved her on, as if to say - how silly, silly me, silly us, please be my guest.

We could clearly see eachothers faces, I am sure she saw my gesture as well as my expression.
She turned her head back to the road - stone cold and carried on.
The human-ness of the situation lost.
How sad for her.

Discrimination

I can’t believe it…but it’s true – I discriminate. It became apparent to me yesterday when my lovely wife and I were enjoying the late afternoon sun on the patio.
We noticed a cute little chipmunk appear from our stone smoker (the stone smoker is from the 30’s when people used smoke pigs in the back yard, these days it just seems to harbor chipmunks).
We were delighted to see the little guy, perhaps with a mild undercurrent of irritation. You see, we love chipmunks – because they are cute, so we are happy they have been able to move back into our yard since our cat passed away last year. (our cat kept the population of all rodents to a minimum, including bunnies). However – the population has become awfully high – too much of a good thing you might say.

So there we were, watching this cute little creature – waiting and watching, trying to figure out if the dog was aware of him or not – when suddenly the little guy jumps off the rock like he had been bitten in the ass. And… in fact, I think he had.
Right behind him a rat popped out from the stones, and our cute little chipmunk ran for his life. Or so it seemed.
A RAT! Egad!
Now …if I am not mistaken – rats and chipmunks are both rodents. So why then do I so despise rats and not chipmunks? Is it the cuteness factor; is it the rats’ bad reputation?
I found myself trying to figure out how to kill the rats without killing the chipmunks… reviewing the possible methods of their demise – hmm, rat poison, rat traps, a new cat???
However, all of these options would endanger our friendly little chipmunks. The only sure fire method I could come up with was to sit-in-wait for them and pick them off one by one.
My spiritual wife is looking at me in horror as I verbalized all this... I really do need to remember not to speak while I am thinking things through.

I will keep the blog posted with my rat tracking progress. If anyone has any rat ridding suggestion – please comment.

May 4, 1988

Today our baby boy becomes a man.



Today he will do what man can do.
Buy a lottery ticket, a porn magazine and a pack a'smokes.

Ha!

This makes me happy on so many levels.

Video: Little women in big SUVs
(source: CNN.com 3May06)

a little help...

writingwomyn april collaboration

april 2006 assignment (a little late…oops)
it's springtime. what do you like best about this time of year? include pictures if you like.

Can you find my lovely wife and The Daughter in this picture? (click to expand).
I will give you a hint… the photo is taken from out beyond the fence (yes...the fence for the FREE dog) in the backyard looking toward the house, the building you see is the back of our garage, the house sits a couple hundred feet past that and to the left (its obscured by trees from this angle). See them now?
I noticed this view while I was cutting the grass over the weekend. This speaks Spring to me.
I have mentioned before how much peace it brings to me to have lived in the same spot for 20 years. It is because of this that I know this picture is late April.
Of course there is the obvious… clearly the trees have not fully leafed out yet, and the grass has that wonderful vibrant green that the winter nitrogen (and buckets of Scott’s products) have brought to the lawn. But I also know that my wife and daughter are sitting in that specific location as to soak up the last rays of the spring sun for the afternoon.
I know that they are sitting on chairs that have been hastily dragged out, because the table and patio umbrella have not yet made it out of winter storage. The angle of the light also tells me this is a spring afternoon. There would be similar shadows on a warm summer evening but the angle is more north than it would be later in the season. The long shadows will change as the summer sun takes a higher path over our house. The color of the light is different too. I know this from way back here, I would know it if I were sitting with my wife and daughter chatting away the last hour of sun, I would know it if I were gazing out the kitchen window while washing a dish.
I revel in knowing this.
I can also tell from this view that is nearly time for dinner.
Which of course immediately makes me hungry.
I am happy.
I like spring.

Friday

tip-o-day

Time to put your screens back up.
At least here in the North it is. Do you even need screens way down south? Aren’t they overkill for your mammoth sized insects. If a bug flies into the house don’t you just catch it in a net and release it back into the wild? Or perhaps name it and adopt it? (and I suppose in Maine screens are simply pointless. Just keep the windows closed and cover yourself in netting.)

Anyway… In the late fall you should take your screens down for a multitude of good reasons.

a. You will be surprised at how much your house brightens up when you take them down. This is very beneficial in the low light of the winter.
b. When it snows, snow will stick to the screens reducing visibility as well as ambient light.
c. It gives you an opportunity to wash the windows and inspect the caulking etc twice a year (when you take them down and put them back)
d. Over the years leaving screens in place will start to permanently dull and stain your windows.
e. It allows you to give the screens a good washing before putting them back up in the spring which really helps alleviate the problem mentioned above.

So … now is the time to put your screens back in. The bugs are waking up and its warm enough to take the screens outside to hose them off and wipe them down with a mild solution of soap and water. Give the windows a wash inside and out, wash out the sill area (filthy window sills…ick). Make sure any exterior caulking is in good shape. Also be sure the window operates smoothly and stays up when opened. If not…fix it!
If you have window treatments it’s also a good time to clean them. Altho I find, with mini blinds or roman shades, if you vacuum them quickly once a month or so – they stay much nicer and you are not burdened with a big mess to clean up annually.

PTO day 3

the street cleaners are here ! the street cleaners are here !

what luck, huh! I am home and they are here today.

PTO day 2

Looks like my neighbor across the street is ripping the chimney off their house today.
This is perfect.
Big project ... vicariously.
It costs us nothing, and my chances for injury are very small.

I am planting grass today, and putting the screens in (see, I know you care), both these projects offer a great view of the neighbors roof.

You do take your screens out for winter right?
Hmm, if not you better check back for Friday tip-o-day.

PTO

Some years back my company offered the standard two weeks off, and the not-so-standard unlimited sick time.
Evidently, there was some misuse of unlimited-ness of the sick time.
This sort of thing really pisses me off – its just poor form. Hey, there is nothing wrong with the occasional ‘mental health’ day. But I heard through the rumor-mill some folks actually used 20 even 30 sick days in a years time… in addition to their vacation time. Sheesh.
Anyway…leave it to a few to spoil it for the masses. Although I would hardly say it was spoiled for me…more accurately.. I am spoiled.

To fix this problem the company moved to a PTO system – Personal Time Off. This is a merging of vacation time and sick time. The standard allowance for a new employee is something like 20 days. Seems nice enough…eh.
Well … shortly after this change the company then adjusted their fiscal calendar from the standard Jan – Dec to July – June. They did some finagling to make sure everyone was ‘happy’ with their new distribution of PTO time… and for me… just by chance – I ended up with a whole extra pile of days. Add to that the extra week added for being with the company for over 5 years… I have A LOT of time off to use.

So I am home ... till Wednesday.

My project list is unfortunately not interesting enough for pictures this week.
Today I am finishing up some painting in the half bath – not really picture worthy.
But should I go off on a tangent and start putting on an addition, or perhaps digging an in ground pool – I will post some pictures.
Stayed tuned.

Friday

tip-o-day

If you have the top down on your convertible, don’t park it under a magnolia tree in April… even for a few minutes.

What?… don’t have a convertible, don’t have a magnolia – ok fine... then here is your tip.

Unless you really like yard maintenance, don’t plant these in your yard, and if you already have them... might I suggest cutting them down (my wife is cringing right now).

Magnolia trees – they are stunning in April, but they shed something different with every season requiring a lot of clean up.

Willow trees – you will be picking up branches in a hundred foot radius several times a year.

Wisteria – (altho my green-thumbed wife loves these) they put on a beautiful show in the late spring, and their heady aroma is intoxicating. But they will grow up, over, and on anything they touch. They also grow wildly fast, requiring frequent pruning during the growing season (unless you don't mind them in the house with you). We have one that tries to pull me off the tractor as I drive by.

A man of God

Our pastor stopped in last night – unannounced. It always happens that way with him. When he has a reason to stop by, or to ‘reach out’ as he puts it, he just shows up. He has done this on only a handful of occasions, and I bring this up because over the years this man has made quite an impression on me.

Without getting mired in detail I will just say this for some background. I am not a particularly religious person. I don’t actually belong to this church. This is probably a whole ‘nother blog entry. My wife belongs (altho issues with O&A have left her a little dismayed…again – another blog entry), and our son is very involved and is actually one of the church leaders. (yeah, Ferris by day is a deacon…and by night – well you all know those stories… gotta love that kid).

Anyway… the pastor had heard we were going through some family issues related to our upcoming civil union… and came by to check in on us. This touched me.
So much so in fact, that even tho we were just having dinner and the house was in disarray with dishes and laundry and the general goings-on of a weeknight in full swing – it mattered not. If you know me, this is huge.

This man is full of good stuff. Call it God, call it energy… good karma, call it whatever – but its there, and I sense it each time I am in his presence.
He didn’t stay long but we chatted of civil unions, of Ferris’ impending college departure, we talked of teens and parents, and dogs, and in-laws…
When he left, I felt comforted, I felt enriched, I felt more a part of the community.
I have met few people in my life who impress me as much.
It makes this atheist almost want to go to service on Sundays.

Thanks Pete.

When indifference turns to violence

Celebrity cooking. You MUST be joking.
I have absolutely no interest in watching celebrities do anything. This new trend in reality TV has just about pushed me over the edge. First they started putting celebrities on deserted islands… aka survivor. But no one was interested, so they tried putting celebrities on all of the other crappy reality shows - like The Amazing Race, or the Mole or some such other nonesense. Then they had them dance (albeit not on a deserted island), then skate, now heaven help us…they are cooking.

And somehow this is more entertaining than watching paint dry?

Are celebrities suddenly hard up for work? I notice that more and more very famous people are doing commercials. This used to be a ‘big’ celebrity fopah. Now its rather commonplace. Perhaps these poor folks just need jobs.

Clearly the problem is that there are too many celebrities.
Time for some thinning of the herd.
Yup, you know what that means. Its time to open some new eateries in the LA area…so these people can get back to their roots and serve tables.
Really its not cruel – its as it should be. Survival of the fittest really.

But I swear, if they make a reality TV show out of it… I am throwing them all out the window (well maybe not the new, big, HiDef one… )

What's on your bumper sticker?

I saw a car on my way into work this morning with a bumper sticker that read
“This car climbed Mt. Washington”
I had to wonder.

I had to wonder how driving up a large hill was such a life changing experience as to warrant a bumper sticker plastered on the back of your car.
Ok – I could see…“This car climbed Mt. Washington and I lost my virginity at the summit.” Or perhaps. “This car climbed Mt. Washington and we had three toddlers in the car (and actually brought them all down with us)”. … even “This car climbed Mt. Washington, which is where I found it.”

Mt. Washington is all of 6288 feet. Granted, for us Northeasterners, that’s a mountain. On their web site it says the ride to the summit will take 30 minutes…
and for this you get their self proclaimed 'world famous' bumper sticker.

Pulleeze, when I was only 20 I drove my car up Pike’s Peak in Colorado.
14,110 feet, a two hour ride to the summit, 2000 foot cliffs with no guard rails…
You don't get a bumper sticker for that...you get a shot and a beer.
You needed it to settle your nerves. Most who take that ride – don’t do it a second time.

Here's the road at Mt. Washington. Pretty huh...


Here is the road at Pikes Peak... yeah, the road does continue around the corner.

April, 15th

Today my delicious wife is 46.
I can tell you her age because she has no hang ups about it -she is comfortable in her skin, and I am as smitten today as was when I first saw her at 23.

Happy Birthday my love.

Home Alone

I'm the only one in our house with the day off today.

So.... I am busying myself around the house with some cleaning and light repairs.
My cautious wife is mildly concerned about me using hand tools... especially since I am by myself today.

We had a brief email exchange:

weese:
"o and guess what... i think we are going to have to call the plumber to install that shower cartridge. i can't get the water to turn off all the way because the value in the basement is so corroded. we will probably need to have that replaced as well."

my pragmatic wife:
"Just keep that wrench away from your eye.
Go do something "girlie." Paint your nails. Isn't ellen on?"

Oh, yeah... and - the job is done.

Do I look fat in this?

News stories these days warn us of a society where obesity has become an epidemic. Unless you change the channel… where we hear that we are all becoming too obsessed with our body image and we have eating disorders.

I dunno. Am I too fat, am I too thin – should I eat fast food, health food, slimfast, should I take relacor, or redux or just good old Paxil.
How ‘bout macrobiotics …or ‘eat like Jesus’. Hey, why not eat like cavemen.

The cave scene:
A group of cave women are sitting around the cave-fire, some are scrawling pictures on the walls with crushed berries…others are sipping a fermented grain/berry concoction out of dried fruit rinds, garnished with tree sprigs.

“Sally… honey – you really should switch to organic free-range pterodactyl. Not only will it shed pounds but your body hair will become fuller and more manageable.”

s t r e t c h

By any stretch of the imagination, stretch before you exercise, that’s a stretch, stretching a dollar...
What is with stretch fabrics? Ladies pulleeze explain this to me.
I went to buy a pair of jeans yesterday. Every single pair of women’s jeans I looked at said ‘strectch’ .
What the hell?
Pants, shirts, even pajamas…they all stretch.

This is absolutely absurd.
I bought men’s jeans yesterday.
Thanks guys.

OOO

Out Of Office assistant:

I will be out of the office today April 10 and
tomorrow April 11.
If you need assistance, please wait
patiently until Wednesday.

(yeah..and its 65° ;)

Friday

tip-o-day

Do you need a new gas grille this year? We do. But rather than spending frivolous money on sparky new appliances, we are sending Ferris to college.

Did you know that for about 50 bucks you can buy all new parts for the inside of your grill and easily replace them yourself?

I replace the grate (and warming rack if you have one) those little lava rock things, and/or the deflector, and also the burner (which is really just where the flames come out). If need be you can replace the igniter switch as well.

Remove all of the old parts and spray the insides of the empty grill body with Easy-Off oven cleaner. Let it sit for 20 or so minutes then wipe it out. You can even hose it off to remove any remaining cleaner (remember if you are doing this on the lawn, it may damage the grass. Try to do it in an inconspicuous place, on gravel is ideal – or if that’s not possible be sure to use a lot of water to dilute the chemicals.)

Wipe down the outside of the grill with warm soapy water, including the tank. If you have metal parts to your grill, put a coat of automotive wax on them to keep them gleaming.

Reassemble the grille with your new parts. Remember to test any propane connections with soapy water to check for leaks.
Your grill will look like new and you should get another couple of years out of it (altho I replace the grate each season).

homework

I can't come out and play today until I get my homework done.

Silly me, I signed up for CEP Level 1 certification. Now I actually have to read and learn, and take a study group class and take a freakin' 4 hour test in June... on a Saturday.

What was I thinking about.

So no blog writing or blog reading for me today, I need to finish my required reading for my study group class tomorrow.

my deepest sympathies

I am coming to realize what a community it is that we have made online with each other.
You are my friends, and I yours - tho I may never lay eyes on you or wrap my arms around you.

Today I would like to wrap my arms around my dear friend K.
I am so sad for her loss.
Please say a prayer for our dear blog neighbor who lost the love of her life this past month

K, my thoughts are with you.


~Allan W. Hergenrider 1952 - 2006~

Art appreciation

Art has always been a big part of my life. I first developed my appreciation for art and the arts while at college getting my degree in design. I particularly enjoyed art history and the architecture. These appeal to my sense of design and function.

My wife, as I have mentioned here before and is evidenced in my masthead, is an amazing artist. We have always taught our kids through example that painting, sculpting, dance, literature and music are to be noticed and cherished.

The daughter is also an incredible artist and expresses herself through sculpture, painting and mixed media. She recently received her master’s degree in Art Therapy and is already working in her field. We are very, very proud.
The daughter counsels and works with many artists in her job. There is one artist in particular that she works with who uses scrap metal and other bits on useless stuff to create the most whimsical sculptures. We have on a couple of occasions sent in a ‘bucket of junk’ for the fellow to use. I just love creative recycling.

With this type of recycling in mind, I decided that the various springs, coils and odd shaped metal bits from our old and deteriorating basketball hoop might make some fine art. So I decided to take it apart this weekend.

The parts were rusted and stuck due to many years of harsh weather. So, just as I always preach, I used my head. Rather than wrestle unnecessarily with rusty bolts– I put on a generous coat of WD-40 and let it sit for an hour or so to loosen up.

Still… they were pretty stuck. So I got out my big wrenches – two of them. I put one on the head of the bolt and snugged it in tight – then took the larger and longer wrench to the nut on the back so that I would have good leverage. Using the two wrenches together the nuts loosed up easily. I was starting to collect a nice pile of little bits and pieces…with one more bolt to go.

I had my two wrenches in place but I couldn’t get it to budge. Why is it the last one is always the hardest. I added more WD-40. I got the two wrenches into position and started to pull with all my might… as I was doing this it occurred to me that perhaps there may be some binding going on from the weight of the hoop… so I leaned over the edge of the backboard to have a look as I was pulling the two wrenches as hard as I could....when the WD-40 kicked in.







Well… at least no one can say I wasn’t using my head.

Monday = Friday

tip-o-day

Did you finish raking? We finally did yesterday. Which is why tip-o-day has been delayed until today (plus a minor injury – which I will post about tomorrow).

Ok, so now that you are done raking you need to apply a crabgrass preventative to your lawn. I used to have doubts about the actual effectiveness of this stuff –until the year I didn’t apply it . wow. Does that stuff spread fast. But hey – if you like a low maintenance lawn that survives drought, disease, insects and rarely requires mowing because it’s growing sideways – they you may want to skip this step.

Crabgrass preventative forms a barrier on your soil to prevent crabgrass from germinating. This is why you need to rake first – so that this barrier is not disturbed.

Crabgrass preventative will not kill existing crabgrass, so it’s important to apply before the crabgrass germinates and establishes itself in your lawn. Luckily, during this time of year the little crabgrass seedlings that may give it a go on a warm day are killed off when the night temps still dip below freezing. Therefore, it’s a good idea to apply the preventative while this is still going on, so no crabgrass can get established.

I like the Scott’s products – they offer their version of crabgrass preventative – Halts – with a high nitrogen fertilizer. The nitrogen will boost leaf growth and green up your lawn faster.
Now remember – this product prevents germination, so if you want or need to overseed as well you will need to buy a special version of this product for new seed.

Friday

tip-o-day

I am out raking right now.
I need to finish raking before I can post the tip-o-day.
No...really I do.

o wow man ...the colors

Lately I am finding it difficult to read light text on a dark background... its just not very readable.
And so ... I am in the process on making some color changes - but I have to do it in small snippets of time.
So the color changes will be an ongoing process as I weed through the HTML of my template. Of course I could simply pick another canned template -but that would be way to easy...and so I won't actually do that until I get really tired of the editing.

writingwomyn march collaboration

my march 2006 assignment

what are your feelings on luck? do you believe some people just "fall into" good things or do you believe something else (like fate or destiny) is at work? How have you seen luck (or fate) at work in your own life?

Lucky, luck of the Irish, as luck would have it, lucky in love, good luck, dumb luck, tough luck, getting lucky, lucky me, lucky fellow, down on your luck…

Am I lucky?

I used to think things just happened. Good or bad – just go with the flow.
Over the years my spiritual wife has taught me to be aware of energy. Energy can be given or received and is constantly flowing around us. Even the most oblivious can feel uncomfortable walking into a room where people have been arguing.. this is ‘bad’ energy.
Have you ever walked into someone’s home and immediately felt at ease... like you want to sit and have a drink, perhaps a small snack and stay for awhile. That is good energy (of course aesthetics and order also play a part in that… which is also energy … feng shui).

Since I like to think of everything in scientific terms, I can refer to Newton’s third law… ‘For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction’ (perhaps we will look at laws’ one and two some other time). This law works even terms of spiritual energy - don’t connote opposite to mean negative…its simply energy in the other direction. Such as do good, good comes back. Its kinda like a boomerang, altho less dangerous (well… a boomerang would be dangerous for me, luck not withstanding – my eye-hand coordination would be my demise – unless of course I got hit with a boomerang that I did not throw which would mean I didn’t know it was coming, and so I may not see it coming, and since boomerangs are supposed to simply return to their point of origin if I were to get hit with a stray boomerang I suppose that could be construed as luck – bad luck as it were).

So are you lucky? Is there luck, or is energy the force that determines the course of your day.

If you think of it this way… sharing energy back and forth can be attributed to attitude and vice versa. If you are happy and contented in your life you will perceive things as positive and possibly think of yourself as ‘lucky’ or blessed, this will make you happy.
If you identify as unlucky then you will have a bad attitude and will emanate bad energy which will make people uncomfortable around you and therefore you will be lonely and think of yourself as unlucky. It’s the circle of life.
So then, we can surmise that, your luck is in your head. And your head sets the pace for the direction of your life.
Be happy. Be lucky.

Send supplies soon

my email to the office administator today.

We are going on Day 3 now without any Diet Dr. Pepper up here on the fifth.

As you know, day 3 often brings on the strongest waves of withdrawal.
The first day we rationed, and muddled through.
Day two things started to get a little tense. But now the troops are tired and seem somewhat dazed and confused.
Some folks have been staggering around simply drooling.
We have set up support groups to try and keep morale up – and are even offering some mild sedatives for those worst affected.
I know there are a couple people trying to get by on Diet Pepsi… but it’s palliative at best.
I will try to hold the group together as long as I can.
Please send supplies soon.
Signing off….

Friday

tip-o-day

Work has been pretty busy this past week, and I have been somewhat guilty of not getting up from my desk very often. Times when I could be going our for a walk, or even just for a leg stretch to the water cooler, I instead choose to sit tight, here in my dark little cubicle with my heater on.
The work I am doing this week involves a good deal of time spent waiting for processes to run, data to be updated…etc. I have been filling this time with all sorts of silliness. I have some play dough at my desk and a couple of toys – then there is always list making, and planning out my next vacation days. I also spend some time tidying around the cubicle. This week I tried out a great tip from my clever wife. You know all that food and lint that gets stuck in your keyboard – well try using a sticky note in between the keys. It fits nicely and winds around the keys easily - acting like a lint roller.

My stuff

I am not really a materialistic type of person. In fact, I don’t really like to have too much stuff. Luckily my free-spirited wife has similar traits in this area – she is actually even more carefree of worldly possession than I. Our house is fairly free of clutter and most things we have serve a purpose. As The Daughter would say… we don’t have much chachki.

My wife and I also regularly purge… not in a bulimic sort of way… I am referring to tucked away storage nooks, the basement, the attic, bookshelves and drawers where unnecessary items can gather. If you let them gather for too long their numbers become great and you risk a coup.
This purging makes us both very happy, and keeps our chi flowing freely around the house. Not to mention it makes dusting all that much easier. (remind me to tell you how much I LOVE my new Swiffer duster).

All that said, I was thinking today about a couple/few cherished items of mine. (Had I my digital camera with me, I would have provided pics). What got me thinking about this here at the office, is one of said ‘cherished’ items.

My peace lamp.

It sits here on my desk at work, and people tend to call it a lava lamp – but it is not a lava lamp and in fact has no lava what-so-ever.

My peace lamp is similar to a lava lamp in that it has a metal base with a light bulb in it. But rather than lava – there is clear liquid with tiny metallic floating bits. Using the same physics as a lava lamp – the heat from the bulb causes the little bits to float to the top in the center of the lamp, where the heat concentrates. They then cool a bit and begin to drift back down around the outer edges of the lamp… where they land at the bottom and get heated again and on we go…

This lamp brings me great joy.

I will share more of my cherished items… and will provide pics to – because a picture is worth a thousand words, and that saves me so much typing.

Thank you dear sister-in-law for my peace lamp.
I still have it after all these years and it is one of my ‘cherished items’.

This morning I had something in my eye. An eyelash perhaps, a spec of dust… a tree limb. But the real difficulty began when I tried to see what was in my eye.
Being in my mid 40’s seeing something close-up is …well, impossible. It happens to everyone…yes…everyone, and if it hasn’t happened yet to you – it will. Go ahead look it up, its called Presbyopia. Anyway… being a new Presbyopian, I am still adjusting to my limitations.

Not considering my recent age related handicap, I saunter over to the bathroom mirror pulling down my lower lid thinking I would just look in there and see what was causing the irritation, and pull it out. Immediately, and somewhat unconsciously, I did the ‘pull-back’. You know the ‘pull-back’. We all laugh about the ‘pull-back’. The ‘pull-back’ is not simply an action to put more space in between you and an object …there is an art to it. Your arms elongate and your head moves back away from your chest, drawing your chin in tight and cocking your head slightly to one side and back at the same time while using your arms to raise the object up and away from you so that you are almost looking down at this object which is actually at eye level. Sometimes there is an adjustment to the ‘pull-back’ where you pull and push the item back and forth testing out different focal distances…. Somewhat like adjusting a camera lens.

Everyone does this pretty much the same way. I don’t know why. I bet cavemen did the same thing while using animal blood to draw buffalo pictures on the walls of their cave homes… if only they had those little drugstore half glasses… they may not be extinct.

Back in the day…folks my age would try to cover up the inevitable challenge of seeing close-up. Since aging was to be avoided as long as possible, the longer you could keep this little secret in the closet the better.
We baby boomers don’t seem to care much. Perhaps it’s our sheer numbers that gives us such abandon… we laugh it off. So whenever we see someone else doing the ‘pull-back’ we laugh heartily with them, in a gesture of camaraderie.

Somehow it’s funny to be losing your keen eyesight to old age ….well --until you have something in your eye.

Back to the problem at hand…
Once I ‘pulled-back’ far enough for my head to be in focus in the mirror, I was waaay to far away to see if there was anything in my eye. So now I started to hunt around for one of the several pairs of drugstore magnifying glasses that we have lying around the house.
Once I put the glasses on I could see my eye clearly in the mirror – but then trying to get both my hands behind the lens to pull down the lid and retrieve the object proved to be more than difficult.
Next, I tried holding the glasses with one hand vertically so that only the unaffected eye could peer through a single lens while trying to pull back the lid of the affected eye with the other hand. With this configuration I was in fact able to see the offending object. But I was out of hands to do anything about it. My next brilliant idea was to locate the object visually with the glasses on and then put the glasses down in an attempt to retrieve the object from its last known location. This was somewhat like playing BattleShip in that I thought I knew where the object was, but found I was continually wrong by putting on the glasses to confirm I had missed my target. This went on for several more attempts, because I am nothing if not stubborn. I finally gave up on the glasses altogether and simply leaned in close to the mirror and pretended that I could actually see. I simply dug around blindly in there with enough vigor and force to extract anything that didn’t belong and perhaps some things that did.
My eye was so inflamed after this that even if there still was a tree limb in there – I wouldn’t be able to notice it.
Now, sometime later, I am sitting here at my desk at work (with my glasses on) noticing my eye feels a little funny… kinda like there is something in it…
excuse me while I go to the ladies room to see if I can rectify this situation…

Well...

Did you rake this weekend?
We didn't (tee hee).

We went out Friday night to meet a friend at a popular drinking spot. It was packed with people wearing green, and having green jello shots, and sporting blinking shamrock antenna.
We decided after our first drink that it was too crowded and loud - so we walked down the street to restaurant that has a bar which was... very ...hmm... sedate. It was perfect. There were a handful of folks at the bar, no loud drunken green people. It was perfect. The drinks were a couple bucks more, but we could easily converse with the bartender without shouting. It was perfect. There was one little TV, and they had the Uconn game on. I had to read the scores to my nearsighted wife, who had forgotten her glasses. It was perfect. Uconn won. And shortly thereafter we all concurred it was time to call it a night. It was perfect.
It was on the way home that my brilliant wife suggested we hibernate the weekend away with the 'Big Dance' on TV and a fire in the wood stove. The raking could wait.
It was perfect.

Friday

tip-o-day

I should be telling you to drink green beer. Which is fine – I’ll probably do the same tonight. But tomorrow, you need to rake.
Yes, I know its cold out (well up here anyway) - suck it up.
You need to rake now, so that you can put down your crabgrass preventative soon.
Once this is down it forms a barrier which prevents crabgrass seeds from germinating. If you rake, you will disturb this barrier.
So get out there and pick up the sticks and rake up any debris lingering from last year. And if you live on a busy street like we do – rake the sand out of the grass near the road.
I like to rake it right into piles in the street, which we then wheelbarrow out to the back yard. I suppose we could wait for the street cleaners… but patience is not one of my virtues.

Expect to see lawn and garden tips each Friday for the next couple/few weeks as this is a very busy time of year, and timing is everything.

drip drip drip

Recently I moved to yet a new cubicle location here at my office. It’s a posh location. I am at the end of a hall and the lighting is very dim. It does not have a window…which, for me, is a bonus. I don’t like natural light when I am at work. To me, natural light is to be enjoyed and felt on your skin – soaking up the vitamin D.
But here… while I am trying to get work done on my PC… I simply find it irritating. Why would I want to see what a gorgeous day it is outside…when I have to stay inside. I do not enjoy weather vicariously. Therefore, the location of this cubicle is perfect for me. Except for one small wrinkle. I sit under an AC vent. It’s my own personal ‘Chinese Water Torture’. The fan comes on, and blows right on my head. I am getting brain-freeze. I keep trying to shift in my seat to avert the wind – but its omnipresent (well at least in terms of my cubicle). I try to counter act with my small space heater – this simply leads to a warm bottom and frozen head.
I can’t believe this would be healthy.
I am currently pondering a solution.
I will keep you posted.

A Bloggers Life

Blogging is an amazing thing. It’s truly a community, where friends drop in and visit…anytime, unannounced – which is fine, because you don’t have to vacuum.
We had dinner this past weekend with fellow bloggers. We probably would have never met these wonderful, warm folks if it weren’t for blogging. I am pleased.
Thanks for stopping by.

Friday

tip-o-day

Here’s a little tip for best results while painting stair risers and floor moldings.
If you have a dog, even if you JUST vacuumed the day before – vacuum again, and begin painting right away.
Also, if you have already started to paint, and then notice the copious amounts of dog hair do NOT start vacuuming – stop painting immediately and wait. Might I suggest a cocktail and snack.

Is it all about the weather?

There is a lot of talk these days, at least in the northern part of this big country, about the weather. Spring seems to have that effect on people – even more so here in the northeast. We like to talk about IT. We like to think about IT. We like to watch the news and surf the internet about IT. When ITs coming, that we can feel IT coming, that ITs practically here, that ITs taking to long to get here, that ITs long overdue. We talk about the rain and the snow and the gray days and sunny days – ITs just a popular topic of conversation.

I am fairly easy going about the weather. I actually like gray days.
So I am pretty satisfied with either sunny or rainy days. I like a good snow storm and I also like the odd warm days where you can wash the car in the driveway with piles of snow still in the yard.

However, I have been having the strangest reaction to the end of this winter… I am not sure if its age, or maybe its that whole peri-menopausal thing – but this time of year, as I look forward to the long, warm days of summer, I seem to be getting angered by the cold.
Yeah, I actually get pissed off.
I don’t get it, but I am living it, it happens.

As I was leaving work the other day, I step out the door, and get hit with this blast of cold air. It wasn’t even really cold… it was moderate – but this wave of infuriation swept through me. Damned if I wasn’t ticked. How the heck can you get mad at cold air? But there I was… walking to my car – all pissed off, and scrunching my coat around my neck.
Go figure.

So, I don’t really know if this is just some strange reaction to a long, hard winter (umm, which it really wasn’t), or if this is just a small taste of the wackiness to ensue as I make my way into middle age.
If it’s the latter… then my peri-menopausal wife and I are sure in for a ride.

Idle hands…

How does that saying go – something about idle hands doing the devil's work?

We find ourselves suddenly after some 20+ years… with kids who not only have their own transportation but (still the realization sinks in) no longer have any events we need to attend.
This opens up a lot of prime free-time.
So … what to do …what to do…
Travel? no – we have upcoming college expenses. Hobbies? Welp not for me, I am not the ‘hobby’ type. I prefer something with more of a purpose – you won’t find me collecting stamps or building ships in bottles. So what does that leave…anyone, anyone…
Yup – time for more home improvement.

We are starting off with some light action -- wallpaper removal and painting, but somewhat larger projects are on the horizon. These include, but are not limited to… removing a built-in cabinet from the living room, installing new kitchen counters and sink, and then who knows – perhaps a small addition, or maybe digging a curtain drain (hmm, then we can rent one of those little backhoe thingys… oooh)

So these idle hands are certainly not doing the devil's work… unless Hell is need of some repair and redecorating.

We watched the Oscars last night. I suppose I am getting to be an old lesbian – I was completely enamored with Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin.

Friday

tip-o-day

If you break a tool in the middle of a project, don't try to substitute or make do.
Suck it up, and go buy another one.

woops

Now what was that I said about spring yesterday...

Coming soon to a backyard near you

I can tell Spring is very close now.
I am having uncontrollable urges to clean and organize.