Of mice and women

Friday evening, after working out in the yard and doing some house cleaning, I sat comfortably in an arm chair we have in the corner of the dining room.
We were expecting company later that night, so I sat chatting with my busy wife who was in the kitchen preparing various food items.

Suddenly, around the kitchen corner and into the dining room --- comes a very small mouse.

Yes. A mouse.

I did what any red blooded American woman should do upon sighting a mouse, I picked up my feet.
Then calmly explained the situation to my curious wife. And when I say ‘calmly’ I mean that I shrieked “A mouse!” shaking my finger wildly in its general direction.

The mouse rounded the corner and scampered under a chair in the living room.
Hmm.
Now what.

We both stood there staring at the chair.
What to do, what to do…

As humans I figured we had very little chance of actually catching the mouse ourselves. So we called the FREE dog into the room.
Our attempts to get her to look around for rodents were futile. She simply ran around excitedly thinking we were going to give her a biscuit or let her out or throw a ball.
Useless.
Clearly we needed an animal with a brain.
We needed a cat.

Technically, we have a cat. But it would be easier for me to catch a greased mouse with my bare hands than to get our feral cat into our living room

We briefly considered borrowing a cat... The Daughter The Therapist has two - certainly she could lend one… but it would take time for the cat to acclimate, and get comfortable in the house before even beginning to hunt. And we didn’t have a lot of time.

Ok. useless FREE dog, AWOL FREE cat – clearly we would need a trap.

I had recently tossed out our last ‘humane’ mouse trap.
Figures.
So I went out in search of one.
I was on my third store, – with no hope of getting a humane trap anywhere local… dismayed I purchased a standard ‘quick-kill’ trap.

At the checkout my cell phone buzzed.
Maw: “You can come home now”
Weese: “I can? What happened?”
Maw: “I let him out.”
Weese: “out?"
Maw: "Yes, out the door."
Weese: "How did you get him to go out the door?"
Maw: “I told him to.”

Hmm.

So I went home.
My gentle wife explained that the mouse circled the whole first floor and wound up near the kitchen door. So she simply opened the door for him and gave him a little nudge and out he went. She said he was clearly just a baby mouse and rather cute and confused.

Hmm.
Don’t mice have lots of babies?

Against my beliefs I thought it best to set the ‘quick-kill’ trap in the basement, just in case there were more babies. With no cat, a useless dog and company on the way... I felt it was best.

My curious wife questioned why I would put the trap in the basement. This mouse was clearly a baby…and much too small to climb stairs.

Hmm. Really…

Just the thought of the little guy… trying to make his little way up the steep basement stairs… I realized there was no way I could actually set out a ‘quick-kill’ trap. I sheepishly put it back in the box.

I decided to finish up my tidying so I started up the stairs to get the vacuum – and stopped dead in my tracks.

“Umm-- love, it seems baby mice can climb stairs.”

There on the top step was …yes… another tiny mouse.

Hmm.

He was obviously scared, and simply froze, never trying to escape. We easily popped a little cup over him and escorted him waaaayyy out in the back yard.

We explained to him that he would have a wonderful happy time there – plenty of friends, including the little pet lizards which we had released out there so many years ago...

Back in the house we waited and watched.
We are still watching.
No mice yet.

Tho, I still think we need more cats.

Hmm...

What will I wear??

Friday

tip-o-day

Have you noticed that the Scott's lawn folks are inundating us with commercials this year on the all important fall feeding.
Well, first, I have to say - I agree. The fall is not only a wonderful time to feed your lawn but also a great time to start new seed. The fall fertilizers are specially formulated to promote strong root growth, so essential for healthy lawn year round.

But ...people... listen. If you are cutting back because of these crazy financial times - by all means skip the fertilizer. Your lawn does not need you. It will grow happily without any intervention or care at all. Sure, it may not be the weed free, lush carpet that you see on those Scotts commercials, but let's keep our priorities in line. It's just grass.

Part of the problem could be that I am currently reading 'Walden' --
but here's what happened.

I was sitting in a Dr.'s office waiting room yesterday afternoon, thumbing through a magazine. The magazine I picked up was some 'home-ish' type rag with a picture of a cute, but pricey lakehouse cottage on the front.

Who doesn't love a lakehouse cottage?

I started to read the cover article about the happy, happy family pictured in their cute, but pricey lakehouse cottage. The pictures showed their happy, happy children carrying around a top of the line but gently used kayak, and their adorable Labrador dog lapping their happy faces and scampering around the finely manicured yard. The article talked about how these folks built their house to look historic and renovated... rather than like new construction. It mentioned how they left the open rafters on the second floor to gain that rustic look. I wondered, only briefly, what climate they might be in... but didn't have much time to ponder over that because I was quickly bombarded with pictures of their o so Pottery Barn interior, interestingly showing that happy Labrador in almost every shot (hmm, no visible dog hair on the floor). My climate question was eventually answered however, when it was mentioned that this happy, happy family only stays in this house during the warm summer months. They retreat to their winterized home down the street for the rest of the year.

That's when I put the magazine down and picked up National Geographic.

Something so seemingly innocent.
Cute little pictures of a cute little lake cottage...
Tell me, what is the percentage of people who can actually afford that lake cottage - nevermind afford it as a second home.

And so it is further ingrained in our sheep like brains -- we WANT it, we NEED it. We will be HAPPY if we have this, and so will our family, and our dog.
My poor, poor dog... o dear.

Over and over, on TV, in magazines, in advertisements we are trained to want more. We are convinced that these are the things that bring us true joy.

And if you are EVEN thinking of commenting that you like to read these magazines just for decorating ideas and such ...think again.

My point is that exactly.

That's precisely how they get the average person to read these magazines. They know you can't afford this cottage. But clearly you can apply some of these great ideas to your own home!
Because then people.. you will be happy.
And your mutt will become a Labrador but will not shed, and your children will do well in school, and they will love you unconditionally - even through their teen years, and your marriage will improve and your sex life will be better than you can imagine.

Friday

tip-o-day

Winter is coming...in case you hadn't noticed.
With these crazy prices we are all trying to think of ways to save on heating bills this year.

Installing a digital, programmable thermostat can not only save money - but they are just damned convenient. How nice to wake to a warm house and still save money!

They're also an easy do-it-yourself project.
I installed our second one this weekend and have included an illustrated tutorial below in case you are nervous about doing it yourself.

Here is our current thermostat. An original Honeywell. It's served us well - but it's time to upgrade.


First, gather the tools you will need for your job.


A thermostat is a low voltage device - so while it won't kill you, turn off power to the unit. Safety first.
You can do this either at your electrical panel...


...or you may have a switch that cuts off power to the thermostat.

Be sure to test to see there is no current before you begin.

Next, familiarize yourself with the instructions. This can save time and aggravation later.


Remove the thermostat cover. Then find and NOTE the current configuration of the wires. Either jot this down or label the wires directly.


Oh.. by the way...
Whenever I am taking something apart that I am not all that familiar with, I try to line up the parts in order of their removal. This helps a whole lot if I need to re-install the old part.


Ok, so here we are ready for our new device.


Based on where the wires were located and how they were to connect to the new device, I realized I would need to move it slightly. So I got a couple more tools to make that adjustment.


Here, I have the wires hooked up, and you can see under the screw hole to the left that I have drilled new holes and installed a yellow wall anchor (a molly). The instructions were very clear on how to connect the wires - so there were no worries.


Once the base was attached firmly to the wall, I installed batteries and snapped on the control box.


Now its time to program the ON/OFF cycles and temperature settings. These settings are detailed in the instruction booklet as well as having Simplified Instructions right on the inside of the lid. This is very handy as a reminder since you generally don't changes these settings too often.



hmm... looks like my artistic wife has some work to do on her fancy faux finish.


Remember, any settings you make now can be overridden. And the great part about that is - let's just say you are very chilly one night and crank that puppy up. Then - you drink a bottle of wine and then... perhaps start dancing around the living room...naked... ya know cuz its so warm ... and then you might...dance your way upstairs and possibly fall into a deep, drunken sleep.
zzzzzz
NOT TO WORRY!
Your new digital, programmable thermostat will set the heat back down at its regularly scheduled time -even tho you used the override feature to raise the temperature during its ON time.




ok, pack up your tools and tidy up.

am I speaking another language?

All I wanted to find out was how to recycle cardboard.

I have been putting flat cardboard out with our blue recyclable bin for several weeks now and suddenly they started to leave it behind.
So I started making phone calls.
First I called the town hall.
Clueless.
Since it's the law to recycle here, she seemed to assume that I was looking for an easy way out, and gave me permission to overflow the local landfill to my hearts content by simply throwing all that nasty cardboard out with my rubbish.

I asked her for the number for the recycling company.

I called and posed the same question - do you take flat cardboard (to be differentiated from corrugated cardboard -- which can be recycled here if you are willing to drive it over to the dump yourself, which we do) in the recycle bin.
Now when you work for a company called 'Enviro' shouldn't you know something about recycling in general. Isn't that your business?

She basically told me - No. We don't take that.
Ok, great - would you know who does?
Short silence - Um, no... I have no idea really.

These questions, in this day and age, in my forward thinking state of Connecticut should NOT be this hard to answer. And should certainly not be met with a response that sounds like it's the first time anyone has ever asked. It's not like I asked why the Hadron Collider shut down last week, for goodness sakes.

If you're driving by my house this winter - look for flames shooting out of our chimney. Because I know my pyromaniacal wife is reading this post right now and planning to take matters into her own hands.

(hmm, this begs for a tip-o-day on fire extinguishers)

About this election

Really? No... kidding...kidding - I am still staying out of it.
Tho I have to tell you it's really limiting my blog reading.

This is not a problem tho as I just received a complimentary, digital copy of the upcoming Scientific American (because I am a member of The Nature Conservancy) It's a special issue called Earth 3.0. I have only just skimmed the first few pages and already I am excited.

It's not on the newsstands yet... but watch out for it because let me tell you, it's gonna be a good read.

oops, is my environmentalism showing.

Friday

tip-o-day

The fingerprints on my shiny cell phone were making me nuts.



So I took a piece of masking tape to cover the little view window, and got myself some steel wool...


and scruffed it up.


Couldn't be happier.

Thanks Guy.

accounting

As it is with many folks, things are a little fiscally tight here this year. With the upcoming heating season predicted to be so costly I have been spending some time coming up with a spreadsheet to help me budget. I love excel and my spreadsheet has all kinds of neat features and sparky colors. I even tossed in some ‘conditional formatting’ for kicks.
My hope is that by watching our (particularly 'my') spending very carefully we’ll be able to skate through the winter… well, keep the house above freezing anyway.

Of course then my newsworthy wife tells me over coffee this morning that because we are spending… oh I dunno… a billion dollars a day on this ‘war’ thing that the country is like a trillion dollars in debt. And that ‘we’ (meaning us... meaning y'all and me) are gonna have to pay for this.

O just great… how am I gonna work that into my spreadsheet?

Got wood?

Seems that everyone is gathering wood these days.

So as not to be left out in the cold, we'll join in the fun too.

Tho... we seriously don't have nearly as much as these gals.


A couple years ago I built us a little wood shed with tarp curtains on the front for easy access. I have a wheeled wood cart that I can roll right up to it, load up and then roll it up onto our covered porch.
It's all stuffed and ready to go.


Then we have a little wood rack next to that - this is wood that we limb off trees in the yard. Its very satisfying to burn wood that you have cut and seasoned, even on a small scale.


Oh...well then there's this pile. This wood will need to season a bit.


Of course then we have this taller pile, which is tarped as its burnable now.


Hmm, right - then we'll need to find a spot to stack this as well...


Bring it.

True Love

When my free spirited wife saw a Bleeding Heart sprouting between the asphalt driveway and the curbing she was enchanted.
She marveled at how beauty can spring forth from anywhere.


And for just this reason ... its still there.

Friday

tip-o-day

Fall is here. It was damned chilly last night.

Are you ready?

This weekend would be a good time to organize your thoughts and make lists on things that need to get done before the seasons change.

Take a little time out, grab a cocktail and a pencil - and list away.
Remember that the more organized you are as you enter the short, cold days of winter the better you will feel emotionally and physcially. Clear up clutter and toss out any un-needed or un-used stuff. This will open up crowded spaces and allow more light and air to flow more freely. You will be suprised at your energy boost.

For those of you in those still steamy southern states - I guess just grab a beer and sit on the patio...


of course you're also gonna miss the foliage --

líricas instrumentales

I don't generally listen to music unless I am home and my melodious wife puts it on. She often does this, and I enjoy it immensely. I like her selections, and the way she strings certain songs together. Now, of course, there are certain songs that whenever I hear them I think of her.

But when I am on my own, I am pretty content with quiet. I rarely listen to music at work, and even more rarely in my car. Some folks say they like to listen to music while cleaning the house. I prefer silence. The act of cleaning is like meditation to me. And so I enjoy the gradual lessening of the chatter in my head as I go about the rote and caring tasks of housecleaning.

I have recently discovered however, that I can enjoy music here at the office - if it's instrumental. Lyrics tend to distract me from what I am doing, while music alone actually seems to help me to focus.

Not only that, but I have found that listening to music in other languages is just as good. Even better at times. I can truly enjoy the vocal performance... as an instrument, rather than get all caught up in some sappy story.

Y tan aquí me siento en mi escritorio en mi cubículo caliente, oscuro escuchando las canciones en Español, Italiano y Francés y gozando de ellos inmenso.

Brava!

Squirrelacide

Just mention squirrels this year and it seems every one concurs that they are going crazy around here.
The gathering and foraging is at an all time high – but then so is the mortality rate.
There are squished squirrels around every turn.
At first I attributed all the accidental deaths to the crazed preparation for the impending cold. I have read that when squirrels forage this early and fervently that it means we’ll have a hard winter. I assume there is alot of competition for those tasty, long lasting winter nuts and with that comes high anxiety. So I suppose a few casualties seems unavoidable.

That was until I witnessed the squirrelacide.

I was on my way into work one morning when I noticed the car up ahead brake as a squirrel ran across the road in front of it.
Whew, I thought – close call.

That’s when he turned around and ran right back across the road in front of my car.
WTH!
I looked in my rearview mirror and saw him sitting on the side of the road.
I imagine he was waiting for the next car to come along.

Is it the pressure of finding enough food that’s driving them to take their lives?
Perhaps the anxiety of the long hibernation makes it too hard to go on.
I suppose it could also be sport – tho they don’t seem too accomplished.

Ah, but the threat of a long hard winter can cause anxiety… even madness.
We have been stocking up on firewood since August; we’ve got piles and piles of it with another cord on the way.
But if you see me start to run across traffic for sticks – could you give my patient wife a call and ask her to up my meds?

Friday

tip-o-day

How about a couple of hurricane tips for the gals down in Houston today?

First, and this I got directly from EB who is busily prepping for Ike.
Forget the bottled water - look...all the stores are already sold out.
Just fill the tub, and get to the liquor store.

Then, from my culinary wife - cook what's in the freezer. If you're gonna lose power, not only will the frozen food thaw, but your oven won't work either. So cook it up now and pick on it over candle light.

And from me - regarding the plywood for the windows. If you live in a hurricane prone area, there should be no need to worry about running out for plywood the day before a storm (they just love to show that homedepot parking lot on the news before a hurricane).
Think ahead. Get the plywood in advance, perhaps a nice sunny Saturday.
Cut it to size and drill holes for your screws or nails or whatever hardware best suits your exterior window trim (might I suggest a metal washer as well, to preserve the drilled hole for many uses). Put your hardware for each window in a little Ziploc bag. I like to attach hardware right to the item it's intended for - you can simply use a twist tie through one of the drilled holes or staple it right to the plywood.
Be sure to label each piece of plywood, especially if you have several close in size. If you are the creative type you can even go all artsy.

Now stack them neatly in the garage, and you are ready at a moments notice for inclement weather.

Once the storm is over, take them down and let them dry thoroughly. Then stack them right back in the garage with their hardware.

I am not a gamblin' woman

But that's what I feel like trying to secure an oil price this season.

I have been on the phone for a week, comparing prices and companies and additional costs, it's alot of leg work.
Then, of course, we need to actually make a decision.

If I lock in now, will the price go down?
If I take the capped price will the prices flat line?
If I lock in with a new company will the service be the same?

Auuughhhh... the pressure.

What's your oil price?

my politics

It's everywhere, it's ubiquitous, it's larger than life...
it's the political opinion.

Every website, newspaper, magazine and commentary and commercials and billboards -- it's all political opinion. Opinion. You're blogging about. You have an opinion. Your opinion is right.

I stayed in tune with it for a short time. I began to watch the conventions, I got caught up in The Times, I was reading what you had to say on your blogs -- until I noticed...
I stopped, I became still, I became aware.
All of this political bombardment was actually causing physiological changes within me. These translated into something akin to anxiety. It didn't seem to matter whether I agreed with the opinion or not.

It didn't feel good.

Then I remembered ...choice.
I can choose my candidate, and leave you to choose yours.
I can also choose to avoid the deluge.
I can choose to feel good.

And so I choose to abstain.

So dear, dear friends - if your talking around the water cooler, I may quietly slip out of the room. If you are blogging about your politics, for which you are right and have every right to do, I won't be reading or commenting.

It doesn't mean I don't love you. It doesn't mean I won't drink water at work or that I won't check blogs to read about your latest home improvement fiasco, or how your dog has the sniffles.

I simply choose to find calm.

peace good friends

Friday

tip-o-day

All the signs are pointing to a hard winter up here. The Farmers Almanac is saying 'numbingly cold'. Egad.


Even here I have noticed a ridiculous number of squirrels (unfortunately many of them flattened in the road). Their gathering is starting very early this year. Our big maple has gone to seed early, and there are some trees turning as of last week.
Do you know how I know this? Well... we keep a gardening journal from year to year.

My patient wife notes when her flowers are blooming, when we fertilize things, when trees turn or the vegetables ripen. We note things like... 'wet spring' or 'cold nights'. We jot down what insects are problematic each year and how we solve it (or don't :) )

The layout of the diary is important. Set it up so you have several years of the same day or week on the same page. That makes it easy to compare from year to year and you can readily see if things are late or early.

We have found that its not only been a valuable reference tool - but is fun just to look back and remember.

just being

Last night we sat in the backyard applauding the lighting. It was a grand show.
The hail got a standing O.

Yet another way to make weese insane

Remember that joke from the 80's;

How do you make a programmer insane?
Have them follow the directions on a shampoo bottle*

Why o why would they make a cell phone shiny. Its bad enough cars are shiny.


But a phone? What's the point?
You have to touch the phone...
all the time...
its never going to be shiny.

this
will
drive
me
mad.

* in case you don't have a shampoo bottle handy
Directions:
lather, rinse, repeat

Friday

tip-o-day

Fall is for planting.

This is the BEST time of the year to plant grass, these warm days and cool nights are ideal - so if you have some bare spots go spread some seed.

Remember to rake it a little bit so the seed makes good contact with the ground. If you're doing a large area its a good idea to use a water filled roller to set it nicely in the soil.

And if you're like me and would rather not use hay, try spreading some peat moss on top to keep the moisture in. Then there is nothing to rake up later on.
Water every day, keep it moist but not puddly.
You should see happy germination in 7-10 days.

We don't have to. We're the cable company

Do you remember that bit Lily Tomlin used to do on Laugh In -poking fun at the phone companies conglomerate attitude?

"We don't care. We don't have to. We're the phone company."

Welp - today I am trying to get rid of 'tweak' my cable service. It's surreal.

Friday

tip-o-day

In my basement workshop I have several boxes, drawers, pegboards and shelves to hold tools and supplies. I generally organize these items by use. For example, one of my tool boxes is for electrical/wiring sorts of work, and I have a separate tool box for small hand tools.

So when I have a job around the house or yard which will require items from different disciplines, I use one of these:


Now, a tool caddy alone is not breaking news, but what's a little different about my method is that rather than using the caddy to store tools or cleaning supplies - I like to use mine on a per project basis. That way I can load the specific tools I will need from several categories. Perhaps I am going to run a new phone jack - so I know that in addition to the phone jack itself I'll need a sheetrock saw, a stud finder, probably some string and a weight, maybe a band aid or a tourniquet, also mine is big enough to hold a drill or small saw... You get the idea.

I like these caddies better than the buckets because they are shallow, making it easier to see inside, and to scoop nails or screws out of the bottom.

While I am at my job site I can also toss bits of wood or bent nails and spent screws in one of the sections to be disposed of during clean up.

When I am done (this part is key) I take it back down to the workshop and unload all the items back into their spots so that its empty and ready to go.
That way, once the bleeding stops, I can refill it with a whole different set of tools and be on my way.

The Law

Have you heard all the rumblings about dropping the drinking age here in Connecticut?
Seems all the universities here are getting behind it.
Can you believe this!!???

And they couldn't get their act together to do this a couple of years ago.
The savings in lawyer fees alone ...

And if any of you out there are MADD ... lemme just tell you this. If the law says you can take my son* to another country and strap a gun on him and make him shoot people...then the law better sell him a tall cold one too.

I am all for it.
I think we will have much more responsible drinkers coming out of university than we do now.

*or my daughter... tho now she is too old for either of these issues to be relevant. :)

Cultcha

As we settle further and further into the deliciousness of being alone (with Ferris off at college much of the time) we find ourselves discovering and re-discovering all sorts of fun stuff that perhaps we may have inadvertently shelved during the child rearing years.
Some of it I can even blog about ...

Last Thursday...yes, on a school night, we ventured into Manhattan to see a free concert. My musical wife discovered that her mistress would be performing at Lincoln Center's Damrosch park, where each August they do an entire series of concerts called Out of Doors.



It was a fabulous evening. If you are in the neighborhood - I highly recommend it.

As we wandered around Lincoln Center we noticed that tickets for the Metropolitan Opera season were going to be on sale this week.

The opera... how civilized.

So this December we'll be getting all gussied up to see La Damnation de Faust.

so many channels, so little...

They are starting to advertise for the 'fall TV lineup' --

seriously...people... are you not seeing this trend

Friday

tip-o-day

One of the first times I saw Martha Stewart on television she was sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool tiling it with old cut up credit cards. This was supposed to be a clever way to re-use them.

Well I don't have a swimming pool, but they are plastic - and I really don't like to toss out plastic before it's had a couple of go arounds.

So we have a drawer full of old plastic cards.

I found they are very useful when refinishing furniture. I use them instead of a putty knife when stripping off the old finish. They have just the right stiffness and flexibility. And clean up is a breeze - just toss them with no guilt, at least you've gotten a second use out of them.

Decadence

We have grown very fond of pizza on the grill this summer.
Last night we dined on fabulously grilled pizza at The Daughter The Therapists and her Handsome Beau's house.

For dessert they invented this:

Yes, its a smore-pie. And it was to die for...

Olympic quote of the night

"It really helps when you're both in the same location to train."

- a commentator making small talk during the synchronized diving competition

...ya think?

Go World

"The most important thing is not to win but to take part!".
--De Coubertin

Have you been watching the Olympics?
We have. We started Friday night with the opening ceremonies. We love the opening ceremonies. It is essential to have a globe nearby…. and cocktails… and in this case – take out Chinese. Hey… its close.
These ceremonies were absolutely spectacular, and watching the athletes arrive in the National Stadium had us all kinds of vaklempt.

Unfortunately, I have heard several times over the weekend folks saying they are boycotting the Olympics. People –do you really think that by not turning on your TV you will make a difference in the screwed up politics of China… um yeah… that sounds just like an American.

But really – what are you boycotting… the athletes.

Thousands of young people (well some…not so young) from around the world train sometimes their whole lives just to participate in these games. These hard working incredibly fit people don’t pick their venue. They just show up where they are told to go. How sad for them that after all their hard work you won’t turn the TV on because you don’t approve of the host countries policies.
Their moment of glory and you are watching Big Brother, or Dancing with the Stars.

Take for example Soraya Haddad of Algeria. Have you ever heard of her? Do you know she Bronzed in Judo yesterday? She picked up the sport when she was just 11, because her brothers did it. She says that her parents have been the most influential people in her career.

What about Dina Gorina from Baku, Azerbaijan? She is competing in Rhythmic Gymnastics. She may not even make it to the top 20 with the highly competitive American, Chinese and Romania teams. But this is her shining moment. She will tell her children this magical story of traveling to China to participate in the most amazing competition with athletes from all over the world. And her children will be proud. As are her parents. As is her country.

But you… no…you are watching repeats of CSI.
That’ll show those Chinese.

paralyzed by frogs

This whole going organic thing is gonna kill me.

O sure I was all a twitter when our first cute little weeds popped up, and the bunnies living in our back yard filled my heart with joy.

But the lawn as degraded to a bright green carpet of crabgrass sprinkled with Suess-like weeds and frankly, we are a bit overrun with wildlife.

It's actually amazing just how much wildlife you notice when you are cutting the grass with those silent reel mowers. You see and hear so much more. I notice bugs and worms scampering out of my way as I walk by. Sometime I may see a small garden snake slither by. With my nifty non-engined mower its easy enough to pause for a moment and let nature pass.

However... unless we quit our day jobs we can't realistically cut our entire lawn with the reel mower. So we're still using a pretty hefty 15hp tractor to do the big parts of the lawn.

But now... now I know about all the wildlife teaming in our yard and garden so I drive my big orange tractor around in a state of near panic. I sit up as high as I can in the tractor seat straining to see over the front of the long hood -- looking for life. Our neighbors have to be wondering why anyone would cut the grass soooo s l o w l y.

Yesterday afternoon I was out in the side yard cutting the grass at a snails pace when I saw a little frog jumping out of my way. He froze as I drove nearer to him.
Not a problem, I simply took my turn a little early and headed back in the other direction, leaving him to rest in a patch of long crabgrass and weeds. As I swung back around it suddenly occurred to me that he may have moved. Oh my! Now I don't know where he is! How far could he have jumped since I made my turn!!!

I slammed on the brakes. Looking... scanning... searching... I finally saw him - still frozen just where he was before. And so I took another pass, only to stop and look for him on my return.

This was going to take a long time.

But I couldn't find him. I even got off and walked around a little bit - calling out to him "toad?, toad?, dude you gotta take cover"

I just gave up and put the tractor away.

So if you come by this week - you may notice a strange mowing pattern.
I like to think of it as a lawn mohawk.

stepford lesbians

We went to the library the other night.

I haven't been to the library ...hmm... geez.. since Ferris was pretty small, so over a dozen years I would imagine.

My eager wife and I were very excited. We decided to walk. It's a perfect walk, just over a mile and pretty hilly.
We were going to the libary to get books -- for free. And we weren't even going to use any gas. The whole thing was incredibly Stepford. And we were thrilled.

Our town library is brand-spankin' new (we've got the tax bill to prove it). I don't remember how many millions it cost, but it was several of 'em.

Welp, let me tell you - this new library is ... opulent. Two floors, lots of open space, fine furnishings, plush carpets and marble bathrooms.

Now - does a library really need to be opulent. I think not.

What a libary needs is books - and this library is sorrily short of those.

I stood looking at the rows of books and thought Borders at the mall puts this place to shame.

This is a picture from their website. Those 5 or 6 rows of shelves to the left there is the fiction section. The WHOLE section. I know some people who have more books than that.Notice those columns... they are everywhere. I bet you could buy a hundred books for the price of one of those.

I think they could have easily cut the building budget by a million or so and spent it on the books instead. If they had as many books as Borders they might get a better turn out than the 7 or 10 folks we saw there that night.

They did install a entire fleet of computers. This... in a town where most homes have as many computers as they do occupants. They all sat darkly except for one or two.

I was dissapointed. Several of the books I looked up in their online catalog were not available.

We did end up checking out one book each, tho I imagine if we go regularly we'll get through their entire collection this winter.

Unfortunately, to read many of the books that are on my list - I will have to go to Borders and buy them. And we'll have to drive to get there. :(

2

I get a phone call from my adorable wife at work recently*, I was in a meeting at the time.
She rarely calls me at work so I stepped out to answer.

weese: "Hey, I am in a meeting can I call you back in a minute."

MAW: "no..." abruptly with a hint of playfulness
"I just talked to my sister"

weese: "oook"
still standing in the hallway while my meeting continues without me.

MAW: "What could be better than hearing a heartbeat?"

weese: "Um... ah... well..."

MAW: "Hearing two!"

Congratulations my dearest Ev and ML!!
We are excited beyond words.


To see the babies or to follow along in the action, please feel free to visit Double Beans .

* This post was delayed to allow time for Ev and ML to make proper announcements to family and friends, and for little 'A' and 'B' to reach the 2nd trimester milestone - which they have ...with flying colors.

I have a vagina, not a brain disorder

(warning... this is an unusually sexist post. please do not generalize my sexism. the sexism blatantly alluded to in this post is a direct result of a specific incident and is not a true reflection on my actual feelings toward anyone of any gender)


When I called regarding my broken tractor I was mindful not to sound cocky and certainly not to sound like a 'know it all' - so I carefully explained in great detail the symptoms of my tractors demise to the penis'ed mechanic.

After a polite silence he asked me if I would like them to come pick it up.
Um... yes please.

After some poking around initial diagnostics - apparently with complete disregard for the details I provided - they put in a new fuse and charged it up and sent it right back home to me.

Where the exact same set of problems happened.

This time I asserted myself on the phone.
A part has been ordered... on my description alone.

It's a tractor people, not a moon rocket.

making room

I just got back from having a tooth extraction.
The way I look at it - now I have more room for brains.
Then again, the copious amounts of Novocaine have not yet worn off - lets see what I think after all I am left with is my cold compress and pain meds.

Evidently, I have some freaky root system that even takes a little turn at the bottom. You know its never good when they start calling out to their colleagues "You gotta come see THIS!"

Once again, we thank the powers that be for nitrous oxide.

at least the coffee maker still works...

This is what my caffeinated wife said this morning as we were reviewing our action plan for the recent spate of mishaps.

On Saturday the tractor quit. I lifted the hood, looked in the engine, wiggled things - then called to have someone come pick it up. They offered to come get it right away, tho they could not look at it until the end of the week.
I was in a state of calm acceptance.

We came home from work yesterday afternoon to find Ferris forlorn in the living room staring at the 42" blank screen in front of him. The TV had gone lifeless. I pressed some buttons, waved the remote control around, rubbed it a little and did some internet research. I think we need some parts - hopefully we can get them in time to see murky Beijing in the glory of full High Definition.
I will order these parts in a state of calm acceptance.

Last night I went up to get ready for bed to find my handy wife pouring all sorts of concoctions down the shower drain. The room smelled like a salad bar. She plunged and poured and boiled water and plunged some more. The clog was not budging.
This morning I called the drain fellow.
He will come this afternoon, and I will wait for him in a calm state of acceptance.

How does that ad go:
Tractor needs repair - $200.00
Shower drain needs snaking - $95.00
TV needs new lamp - $280.00
calm state of acceptance - priceless

weeds

I think quitting smoking was easier, and I haven't even made it through the whole mowing season yet...

I was very proud of our organic lawn when the first weeds started to sprout. They were so cute and different, even beautiful. I thought - hey... this is easy.
But now... now the crabgrass. Its wide, bright green leaves - so unmistakable. And so prolific.

My calming wife reminds me that we have crabgrass every year. But I keep thinking -- if I do nothing... what about next year -- it will take over the entire lawn!
This is where I begin to panic...

So here I am, driving around on the tractor in mindless circles, panicking.
And I think I begin to hallucinate...

on one shoulder I have a little tiny Scotts salesperson and Al Gore sitting on the other. Each one whispering in my ear.

Scotts dude is so calming and reassuring:
"Weese, relax - you know we can handle this with some summertime spot treatments and a preventative next spring."

Al says: "Better yet, instead of cutting the lawn at all, let it go back to meadow and forest."

Scotts Dude: "A simple fall weed and feed will really knock back those dandy-lions, and that thistle doesn't stand a chance."

Al: "Read my research on lawn chemicals as cancer causing agents, and how they affect wildlife."

Scotts dude: "You don't need to read, weese. Just feed it... c'mon - you know you want to. Look at John's yard next door."
my head spins...

Al: "Did you know US lawns take up as much space as the entire state of New York. And that 1/3 of all the water on the East Coast is used to water lawns!"

Scotts Dude: "We have a new chemical that helps reduce the need for watering."
He is grinning now.

Al: "So we feed and water a lawn to make it grow, only to cut it back every week - does that sound silly to you?"

Scotts Dude: "Consistent maintenance, including sharp blades and regular mowing is essential to a healthy lawn."

Al: "And by 'healthy' you mean....?"

Al breaks out into song and is joined on my shoulder by Rachel Carson.

Scotts dude: "WTF - they're singing. Fine, fine keep your weeds and your crabgrass, save hundreds of dollars a year as well as the environment, not to mention your family pets... whatever."

Whew.

Marie

We have lived in our house for just over 20 years now, and for all of this time Marie has been our neighbor. I’ve mentioned Marie a couple of times on my blog over the years because she never ceases to amaze me. Marie is 83 (I mistakenly aged her at 78 in a blog post a couple of years ago), and grew up on our street, in fact in our house. It was truly a farm house back when she was a child and she tells stories of walking the cows up the hill to their other pastures on a dirt road which is today paved with a double yellow line.

She moved, from what is now our house, when she and her new husband Charlie built a new house for themselves next door. She has lived there ever since. Charlie passed away several years ago, and she has managed on her own since. Marie has never learned to drive, so she walks down to the store when she needs to pick something up. She still cuts ½ of her 1 acre yard with a push mower… the kind that’s not self-propelled. And she shovels her driveway so early on a winter morning that I don’t even have a chance to offer to help out with my girnormous snowthrower.

What made me think of her today though is her flowers. Boy, does Marie love her flowers. She plants them ALL over her yard and waters them everyday. When you drive down our street you can’t help but marvel over her front yard every time.
Which I did just this afternoon. So I thought I would share.



I snapped this from inside our house ... you can see Marie out there probably snagging a stray weed or two.

Twenty Three

hmm, 23... 23... why does that number ring a bell today. hmm...

Friday

tip-o-day

Learn from your mistakes.


Clearly I don't.
I am off to the dentist now.

Twitter me this...

Sassy was inquiring about Twitter the other day ...got me to thinking.

I have not used Twitter, tho conceptually I get it - and I am certain I don't want it.

Just what we need is something else to make our communications even shorter and MORE meaningless. The last thing I want to do is read the random thoughts of someone I don't know.

My life is not a snippet.

If you want to share something with me, my off-the-grid wife and I would love to invite you over to sit on the porch and languish linger over a cool drink while you regale us with your story. We'll have a conversation. We'll see eachother. We may even touch.

On my summer vacation I...

Our intentions were not to have any plans. To wake each day and see what the day would bring. This went along smoothly for the first couple days. Whimsy and free we flitted around at our leisure and our pleasure.

Until ...o about Tuesday - when we thought we would just eye up a little project we have been toying with.

See we have had this custom, built-in cabinet in our living room for about 15 years now. It has served us well, but it was designed to hold electronics equipment and CDs -- which we no longer use.
You can see it here in this picture from several years ago.


While we were sizing up the project it seemed to make sense to just see how the thing might be installed. This could be easily accomplished by simply removing a little bit of the sheet rock from the back of the unit in the other room.
So ... we decided to just have a peak. We thought we'll look... get a cocktail, and think it over.

We noticed right away how easily the sheet rock seemed to be breaking up, so I grabbed an old towel, just to collect some of the dust we were creating.

It occurred to us that if we just had a hammer and maybe a pry bar that this sheet rock would really just come right down, so I went to get those.
My tidy wife suggested next that I grab a bucket to put some of the debris in.
But really... we just wanted to see how to get the cabinet out. So this wouldn't take more than a few minutes.

We uncovered some screws holding up some of the framing, so I grabbed my drill just to pop out some these.

The bucket filled up pretty fast, so we brought in one of those 30 gallon garbage cans. That seemed to do the trick - since really we were just gonna take off a little bit more.

Suprisingly, we were able to remove large pieces of the wall quite easily. And since I already had the drill out why not just see how the thing was secured to the wall.

To do this we simply needed to remove the trim from the front side of the unit. A couple more tools and this was easily accomplished.
And since we already had the large garbage can there... why not really....

We quickly found how it was secured to the wall but the unit itself was heavier than we could lift -- so we thought perhaps we could just shimey it a bit then lay it down. So I went and got some moving blankets and we eventually were able to drag it out of the house.

Since we coulnd't really move it around much I just went ahead and grabbed my circular saw so we could cut it up into more managable pieces.

The vacuum came out and we tidied up the place. It was then we realized that it was Wednesday and we had just intended to see how the unit had been installed.

oops.




Off to home depot for some studs and sheet rock.

Framed it up...


And tossed up some sheetrock.
whew.



All that was left was mudding and paint - and it was only Thursday.

Now, I don't want you to go getting the idea that our whole week off was all about projects and home improvements.

There was much rejoicing, and drinking and yes... nakedness. Tho sometimes these overlapped --just a bit.

You know how sometimes when you are walking through a room and you notice just a little something you want to touch up real quick ... and its only gonna take a second... so you just figure its better to do it now rather than wait... even if possibly you have been drinking... and might not exactly be appropriatly dressed for it...

ahhhhh....

I'm back.
Well... we didn't really go anywhere.

Have you taken time off from work recently?
If you have the means, I highly recommend it.

I am slowly adjusting to this new routine. Sitting... typing... reading.

I have some email to sift through. More blogging tomorrow.

Dude, where's the party?

Remember when you were in high school and you waited to see whose parents would be stupid enough to go away for a long weekend.
Party on, dude.

Welp, Ferris is away this week. It's his annual mission trip with his church's youth group - tho now he travels with them as an adult advisor. I am always so proud of him for not only doing this trip each year, but getting so much out of it as well.


My giddy wife and I are taking the entire week off from work to enjoy the big empty house.

So... party is at our house. I should warn you tho, if you're planning to stop by, you may want to call first ;)

Friday

tip-o-day

I have said before that cleaning is my Zen. This does not mean our house is immaculate - it simply means that I enjoy the act of cleaning as much as the result.

Cleaning has alot to do with Chi. And so... if you find yourself in a funk someday, maybe a little foggy or not quite connected, perhaps you have some issues to work through -- tidy up your space. Set things in order, dust, vacuum and mop. Clear some clutter, get into the corners, rid yourself of the dust and disorder.

This will do several things for you. It will get you moving, your blood flowing and your brain organizing, and as a bonus your space will be neat and organized.
In this newly cleaned space you will feel better, clearer and more present, your heart will lighten.
You will feel like you have done something nice for yourself, and you may be surprised to find you are calmer and more relaxed.
Try it.

When you're done... be sure to put your feet up in that sparkly room and have a refreshing cocktail.

where's weese?

dunno, I'll go look for her.

Cats

Welp. Looks like we have a cat.

Our little feral kitty, locked up in confinement for 8 weeks, is now FREE.
We opened the doors Friday and waited. She popped out of her kitty door and walked around the back of the garage like she owned the place. (I know this because I was sitting in a lawn chair waiting.)

We have seen her exploring around the barn/garage, up around the house and out into the yard a little bit all weekend. And then she comes right back to nap on her shelf in the garage.

The world is her oyster (or rodent... as it were).




But wait, there's more.
Meet Jasper.


Jasper is The Daughter The Therapist and Her Handsome Beau's newest addition to their family. Last year they rescued Sophie, and this past weekend scooped up another little feral.

Independence Day

Tomorrow is Independence Day.


We will open the door for the FREE cat.
And wait to see if she ever comes back.

A sign of the times.

I have been watching this particular low profile window air conditioner online for some time now - waiting for it to go on sale. We already have one and love it, it's a great little unit, and light enough for me to install alone with ease.

It finally went on sale last week.

Alas, we decided to buy a cord of wood instead.