Monday, July 23, 2012

its ok. really. its fine. i promise.

Don't fear the empty nest.

Now when I share with friends and collegues that our last child has moved out, I get alot of similar responses along the lines of "OH THE HORROR" ... these are mostly from parents of younger children.

These parents go on to tell me how they NEVER want their children to move out; how sad they will be when they are gone, and they can't imagine their lives and homes without these kids.

Then there are the parents of teens - they nod knowingly, perhaps with a slight smirk. Folks in this stage of parenting believe that the teens years were invented to make you WANT the empty nest.

While its true the teen years can be difficult - they do pass, as did the terrible threes and the feisty nines.

What happens then is your child matures. They stop that hormone driven hating - stop hating you, stop hating rules, stop hating teachers and school and in some cases even stop hating brussel sprouts.
Your teen turns into a young adult. Who can actually be alot of fun.
Gone are the silly arguments over independence and laundry on the floor - and we welcome long meaningful chats. Intelligent, wordly conversations. Thoughtful acts and warm hugs.

So why you may ask would you ever want this fine young person to leave you?

Quite simply - because THEY want to.

Your young adult has come around, and survived your upbringing. They are often grateful and content with your company. And while they can't beat the accommodations... they really want to be out on their own. In their own space. Not like when they were teens and secretive. This is a matter of adult privacy. The kind you will also enjoy when they go.

Think about it.
You always wanted the best for your children, and hoped for their success and happiness?
Do you remember that feeling of the first night in your 'first place'?
So once they can, when they have the means --this will make them happy. 
Very happy.

And that will bring you joy.
(and the adult privacy doesn't suck either)


elf said...

Parents who never want their children to move out seriously need to get a hobby.

I remember the first night in my first place. I had no furniture. But I did have almost 2000 records, a turntable and a bag of Doritos. Ah, shelving made out of cinder blocks. Those were the days.

They say life begins when the kids move out and the dog dies.

maxine said...

I heart our empty nest.

Trish said...

sounds like the writing of some truly mature parents, who love their child and want what is best for him!

Mazel Tov on YOUR growing up and knowing when to let go!

Enjoy galavanting around the house nekkid! Or, as we've done...sleep!

Val said...

well written... ;)