Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Everybody is talking about it

The whole flu thing...
First, let me just say - we had bacon last night. So we're doing our part in eradicating the source. Don't worry people - I will eat as much bacon is necessary for the good of the human race.

But this whole pandemic fright has also gotten me to thinking of mortality of course.
Ya know... whats really important, how short life is and all that.
Almost makes me want to stop dieting, live life like its my last day.
But that's not gonna happen - there's no way I am leaving this earth in anything over a size 10.
O the horror...

Friday, April 24, 2009



Do you have pets?
Do your pets shed?

If so ... the next time you have the vacuum out...which is you have a pet like our FREE most days -- open your lower cabinets and give them a quick vacuum.
If you do this regularly - it won't build up into piles of pet hair mingling with your Pyrex.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


I love that I will never get a speeding ticket in my new car.

Imagine the speed trap...the officer waiting quietly, patiently pointing his radar gun at each passing vehicle whizzing by.
Finally, he finds his mark - a late model compact car speeds by, clearly over the limit.
He tosses his gun onto the passenger seat and drops the tranny into D, pedal to the medal he screeches out of his hidy spot and onto the highway.

Hmm, he scratches his head as he races down the road looking to spy his mark.
Which one, which one....there are just sooo damned many of them.... they're all the same...

Friday, April 17, 2009



Here's another re-use tip - don't toss out your old toothbrushes - just give 'em a swish in a mild bleach solution and they make great cleaning tools.

You can use them to scrub the seams around your faucets (what? you didn't notice the grime that collects around faucets... go look). Use them to clean jewelry, scrub little vases or bottles, around the sink drain and drain baskets... the list goes on and on.
I keep one in my tool box too!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I have always
had a thing
for older women.

Who knew
when we were
all I had to do
was wait.

Happy Birthday, love.

Monday, April 13, 2009

This is Easter....

First you grab a baby.

Not to worry - I got one too...

Then you settle into a comfy chair

Then you put on The Masters.

And you know how riveting The Masters can be...

Friday, April 10, 2009



Here's an unusual tip from me that doesn't have to do with cleaning and/or home maintenance -- because really we are all swamped right now with spring chores.

Since starting the new job after having been at my last job for 8 years - I have had to dust off my brain and start using it again. Its a little rusty, but I can just feel the synapses springing to life.

Being the 'new person' in a technical position where all the technology is new to me - I, of course, find myself with lots of questions to ask.

Rather than jumping out of my chair to find someone every time I become confused (remembering of course that actually speaking with someone is often the best way to learn) I have been instead taking time out to compose an email with my question(s).

This gives me an opportunity to carefully think out what it is that I want to ask and to step through it in such a way as to make it clear to someone else. Which I believe is the key part of the process - explaining things to someone else... someone who has not been sitting in your confused head for the last hour.
I have found that often times the shear act of this type of thought process helps me to figure out many of the answers on my own!

So, while you may not be the new person on the job - you can apply this learning process to fixing a sink or installing a new window or even bathing your cat.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009


Or should I say... foamed.

In an effort to save money without sacrificing the essentials, I ordered wine online.
I was pleased. I was saving money and someone was dropping it off on my porch. (and while I realize the consequences of the fossil fuel wasted to do this - the guy is driving right past my house every day regardless... so why not stop and bring us some wine while your out).

BUT -- what I was not prepared for, was the styrofoam.

They ship in styrofoam! I am sure this is a cost effective way for the company to safely transport its product -- but I simply cannot have this coming into the house on a regular basis.

Do you know how I feel about styrofoam??

This clearly isn't going to work out. And now we have even MORE styrofoam that I have no idea what to do with.

OO the horror!

Luckily, I have some wine to ease my suffering.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

O dear

Do you remember the FREE cat?
Well, she has been happily sitting on our covered porch all winter – basically waiting for me to feed her – which I did… A LOT – this of course completely negated the entire reason for getting her in the first place.

Remember, we were seeking help controlling rodents. The theory was that feral cats eat rodents… because they are hungry.
Clearly our feral cat was NEVER hungry. O well.
See this is what happens when a feral cat lives with two Italian lesbian moms. They get fat and lazy…and the rodents play.
(tho my observant wife will tell you that she has actually seen a dramatic reduction in the out-of-control chipmunk population so far this spring).

Just over a week ago – we noticed two things. FREE cat was missing, and there were signs in the gardens surrounding the porch that something was digging to try and get underneath. This concerned us – because we knew FREE cat went under there for naps and/or hiding.

All last week...every morning and every evening I looked for her on the porch. I’d flip on the light and check for her just before bed. Every time I pulled into the driveway I expected to see her sitting there…waiting for food, waiting to hiss at me as I put down her bowl.
She never appeared.
I wondered… of course I worried a little. But she was feral. I had to trust that she could manage.

This morning on my way to work … on a very busy street not too far from home… I came upon a cat that had been hit – seemingly recently. I turned around and came back to look. I called home – to tell my supportive wife that I found our cat.
She suggested I call the animal control folks to come get her. She cautioned me not take care of her myself … after all… she was a wild animal, and we couldn’t know what sort of animals she may have encountered over this last week. That wife of mine…she is wise.

Tho … if the town staff fails us today… and I find our little Sorsha still lying on the side of the road on my way home from work, we’ll find a way to give her a proper burial.

peace Sorsha

Thursday, April 02, 2009



Even if you don't have pets or kids you'll want to take a walk around with damp cloth and check out your doors and door moldings. You may be surprised at what you find.
Here, the FREE dog likes to nose her way into rooms where the doors are not quite shut --so we find all sorts of slobbers and smears on things at her height.

I also recommend a very good trim paint. Since trim needs to be wiped down so often a high quality paint is a must. We love Benjamin Moore's Impervo. It's a bit pricey - but it's beautiful white luster,self leveling application, and easy washability make it well worth it.
Keeping all the trim in the house this luxurious white also makes it easy to do touch ups as needed.

open communication with my wardrobe

I had a conversation with my jeans this morning.
They are unhappy.
They are not comfortable.
My jeans expressed to me that they did not want to be simply set aside and forgotten about. We discussed our feelings openly and with no fear of judgment.
My jeans and I came to a place of peace...
That is of course after I agreed to do something about this situation that we find ourselves in.

I am heading downstairs now to have some lettuce. Maybe a carrot.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Off Spring

Do you have children?

They just melt your hearts ...don't they.

Like when they are toddlers and all damp and clean right from the tub and cuddly.
Or when they are concentrating as hard as they can to do something their very best, and they get that determined look on their little faces.
How about when they come flying at you from across the playground and leap into your arms.

And then there is that phone call from the dorm laundry room
"I just bought some new Tshirts, how do I get them all soft and silky and smelling good like when you wash them?"

See... it never ends.