Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Packing 101

We're packing.
It's a little early - but we're excited.

Plus, last time we moved it was not all that smooth.
Hey - it was the 80's, we were in our mid 20's and kinda casual about the whole process.

Casual meaning... not really prepared.

Not prepared meaning that by around 10pm we were just grabbing arm fulls of stuff that had just not been packed.

No really... weese was a little less on top of things in the old days.
That's back when I was 'self-medicating'. I was calmer then. Tho clearly not as prepared. Every thing's a trade-off.

Just ask the friends who moved us. They still have emotional scars (and possible physical ones too).
I suppose that could be why they keep sending me emails with referrals to good moving companies and showing up in my driveway with packing supplies.

But this time... this time we'll be ready.

Hmm, is it possible to be too ready?

Monday, April 25, 2011

Putting technology in its place

My off-the-grid wife has been forwarding me articles about how bad my cell phones is for my health.
She tells me not to hold it against my head for too long and that I should not carry it on my body. When I pressed her on statistical result data she was not too positive what the actual long term effects might be.
So I now carry my cell phone exclusively in my front pants pocket.
I am hoping to discover a way to shorten menopause.

Friday, April 22, 2011



This tip is brought to you by my new favorite customer service rep at Drs F oster and Smith - where I recently purchased a new dog bed for the Free Dog. It was one of the best customer service experiences ever I must say.

Completely out of character, I purchased an overly priced, overly stuffed designer covered cozy new bed to ease the trauma of moving. I know I know... go ahead and say it if you must - that's not going to help; I am a big softy; I spoil my children and pets (duh).

If you're like me and prefer to launder the pet bed cover often - here is a great tip to make it easier to put the cover back on. Some of these covers can fit quite tightly making it difficult to slide the bed back in.

Take a garbage bag, in the case of Free Dog's bed -- Free Dog who now tops 90 pounds... it's winter weight, she and I are both working on that -- we'll use a large lawn bag for her large size bed.
Slip the bag over the bed - open side away from you.
Then take the bed cover and slip it over the bed starting from the side where the bag is open (the openings will be on opposite sides).
The cloth cover will slide on easily over the slippery plastic.
Then just pull the bag out!

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

pinch me please

Our house is on the market.

holy crap.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Please don't chat it up with people I am paying hourly

This place is crawling with hired help right now to help us ready the house for sale.

I need them to all stop being so damned friendly with each other.
Our septic folks have been coming here for over 20 years and are very nice people, but they need to realize I am paying these landscapers by the hour.


Gotta run, the chimney guy is here...

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

the look of fate

So here is how it happened.

We decided quite recently that we were finally serious about moving. No really - we were gonna move. We had been talking about moving for years - the talking was getting old.

A plan was devised and lists were made.

We started watching new homes pop onto the market in the areas we were shopping.
This was exciting. Tho we still had much to do here to prepare this house for sale.

Suddenly (read this as the moment we decided to start looking) my excited wife found her dream home.
Please keep in mind... the last 'dream home' she found was, well let's call it a "vintage home", replete with crumbling foundation, sagging roof and leaning enough to notice while driving by. Needless to say I was skeptical.

But I have to say - the online pictures had me intrigued.

An adorable little cape, freshly done hardwood, a cute little layout and best of all - full ocean views from the front yard.
Whats not to like.
We did a drive by that night.

We got excited. We called our realtor the next day.
He said... "If only you had called 20 minutes ago"

Well, ok. Whattaya gonna do.

So there, the door had been opened - so we (read 'we' as 'my eager wife') threw the door open wide and started to look.

We saw a couple houses that were downright scary.
In one home I swear someone must have died while making dinner - and no one thought to clean that up before showing the house. This house would need siding, windows, chimney, roof and complete gutting inside.
It had two bids.

Hmm. Are we starting to see a pattern here.

One cold and rainy evening we walked through five houses in the desired neighborhood.
One was to smelly, one was two small, one was ok, one was on deposit and then there was one that was really quite nice.

But we didn't want to do anything rash. This house had been on the market for a couple months. So we figured... no rush.

Two days later we went to see another house (the one where I swear someone died) and walked out shaking our heads. The views were nice, but we were just not up for that much renovation.
We noticed that the rather nice house from the other night was about to have an open house.

Oh my.

We MUST go.

And here is where fate reared its beautiful head.

We arrived a full hour before the open house was to begin.
As we walked into the house our realtor introduced us to the listing agent, a friend, a good guy.
I shook his hand and turned to introduce my wife, already wanding around the first floor.
He, without missing a beat, and with an unmistakable lilt said
"Oh, honey - you're gonna love it here. This neighborhood is sooo accepting.
I live right down the block and have won the best garden award for two years running."

The deal was practically sealed.

But after wanding around the house for awhile, and getting annoyed at the other people coming in and out and walking through 'our' house... there was a moment.
A moment between my wife and I that makes me love this house even more...

She stood in the dining room, and I in the living room - and over the stairs our eyes met. I raised my eyebrows and pressed my lips, and gave just the slightest shrug of my shoulders indicating the silent inflection of a question.
She nodded. Her lips gently spreading into a devilish smile.

I turned to the agent and said, "Ok, what do we need to do to get this done."

Thursday, April 07, 2011


A little word with so much power.
There is OR and AND, or AND and OR.

Often used in the ubiquitous snippets of the if, then statements.

Can you even imagine how often you say them.

Trying to write about these little words without using them makes for difficult prose.

When I think of my life, I have always thought of it in terms of 'and'
My adorable wife and I.
Me and my family.
See... we are 'ands'.

However, in legal terms… or is the way to go.
For example - when you own property. You want or... not and...

You want it to be: property of weese or her delightful wife.

If it were and - then it would not be would be ours. Meaning it would only be partially mine. Which is great and cute and all la-de-daa sharing and what not...but when it comes to property you need to toss cute out the window.
We need property to be each of ours, not both. If our marriage were recognized it would not be an issue. But its not, so it is.

So why do I care today?
Because my spontaneous wife and I went on a little shopping spree this weekend.

This is hers...or mine...