Friday, May 28, 2004

Holiday Garb

I will never again underestimate the power of my subconscious.

In response to that ever popular question “What are you wearing?”
Today I am sporting a red T, jeans and white sneaks.
And really ...this was not a planned decision.

Thursday, May 27, 2004

When I was a kid.

As I was writing my ‘About’ page, I started thinking about well... ya know, me and how to describe myself. Some little thing made me think of my small self, and of course the fact that I was not a ordinary child.

I can’t tell you how many times I have heard women describe themselves as ‘tomboys’, regardless of their ‘orientation’. It simply seems to be a common ...if not coveted, attribute. I think (key word here) most folks would assume I was one. I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me “So played ball in high school?”

Tomboys are typified by rough and tumble, getting dirty, climbing tree kind of activities. They are good at sports, they fist fight, they are competitive, they throw caution to the wind... me... not so much.

I was NOT an effeminate child. No dresses, no pink, no dollies, no foofy hair, didn’t get into makeup or frilly underwear (altho I have gotten better about that :o)
However, I was also terrible at sports – to this day I ‘throw like a girl’, something my son has taken great interest in correcting over the years... without much luck. I did not like to climb trees, and I simply couldn’t stand being dirty. As a child, I organized the pantry, polished with pledge, folded laundry to military standards. I liked to re-arrange the furniture in our living room seasonally, probably as young as 10. I waxed my bike. I washed my mothers car, I cut the grass in orderly patterns.
I was not a Tomboy.
And, no – I did not play ball in high school.

(Of course had I known women could use power tools as a child – I probably would have put an addition onto my mothers house.)

Tuesday, May 25, 2004


Heard an interview on NPR yesterday with an awesome young woman, Abigail Garner.

"[Her] web site is dedicated to decreasing isolation for people who have parents who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT), and bringing voice to the experiences of these families.

[Abigail Garner is] a lifetime advocate for LGBT families because she comes from one herself. She is the author of the new book, Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell It Like It Is (HarperCollins)."

She did her parents proud.

Monday, May 24, 2004

"I'm Coming Out..."

We don't get out much. I mean that in a good way. We like to stay home.
For many of these past years our weekends have been taken up by football games, color guard competitions, pizza parties and school events. Not to mention household chores and projects - so that by evening we are happy to have a cocktail on the porch and nod off early.

Not so much anymore. And...its starting to sink in. Our weekends are now often just us. We loved every minute of every game, every competition, every carload of kids packed off to Chucky Cheese, PG movies and sporting events. But now, we seem to have a little more free time.

This weekend - we went out to a bar. Yes, a bar, with cocktails, and music and dancing and women...oh, the women.
My sumptuous wife said - its like we're coming out... again.

Better than that is what our son said.
mom - "We are getting together with friends tonight to go out to a club. We’re planning to meet up at their house around 8:00, but we are not going out until 10:00."
son - "10:00?"
mom - "They told us it wasn't 'cool' to show up at a club before 10:00."
son - "It's isn’t cool to show up at a club if your over 40"

ha! He cracks me up.

We stayed late enough to dance, just once... this time. But we had such a good time - being all grown up and out late, we are definitely going back.
Thanks to good friends - for gently prodding us old ladies to come out and stay up long enough to have such a wonderful time.

Friday, May 21, 2004


I test software for a living (hey, shhh - it pays the bills).
And these past two days I have been too immersed to blog (yes, I do all my posting and twiddling with my template at work...I am way too busy cutting the grass once I get home to even turn the computer on)
So as soon as I finish validating THIS** I will be right back.

tax_benefit_shares calculation:
~ First determine:
- TAXABLE SHARES -- (SharesOutstanding;SharesExercised;SharesCancelled)
- TAX DATE --(Issue Grant Date or Use rInput Date or Termination Expiration Date
- NQ RATIO -- ((userinput_todate - TaxDate)+1) / Days_In_Period
(only calculated when termination schedules change the expiration date)

~ using this information then calculate the :
VALUE OF TAXABLE SHARES -- SUM ((AveragePrice - FairValuePerShare - IssueGrant.OptionPrice) * TaxableShares) * (UserInput_TaxRate / 100) * NQRatio

~ then Tax Benefit Proceeds:

~then finally you can calculate Tax Benefit Shares:
IF TaxBenefitProceeds > 0 THEN
TaxBenefitShares = TaxBenefitProceeds / AveragePrice
TaxBenefitShares = 0
~ use tax_benefit_shares to determine anti_dilutive_shares_outstanding by............

HA HA HAAHAAAHAHHHA .... (<- the sound of my insanity)
also...I plan to post an 'About' page next week.

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

PTown 2009

Yay for Massachusetts.
Like all good gay New Englanders we vaca in PTown every summa.
After close to 20 years of that - it has become a place we feel at home, loved, safe, passionate and peaceful.
With our wedding date already planned for 2009** - my beloved asked me last night if we could marry in PTown.
I would love nothing more.
Yay for us.

[** 2009 was selected for a multitude of reasons - the top few being:
-hopefully the laws will have caught up by then and it will actually be legal...everywhere
-we will have stopped hiding our kids college money in my name (hmm, should I have said that outloud)
-we will have been together 25 years
-we want to marry on our anniversary date, and it falls on a weekend that year

Monday, May 17, 2004

Free Fish

had Fish-n-Chips Friday how good. slathered in tartar sauce. mmm.
....I digress....this fish was not free...

My fish, 'Fish', is doing well today.
As well as can be expected.
Fish is dying.
Has been dying for quite sometime now. Not really sure how he is still alive at this point.
Fish is a betta fish. He has had a fin rot disease for many months now, and has been treated on and off. He has very little actual fin left, and therefore has some difficulty staying upright and turning corners.

Fish was not actually free. Fish is the latest incarnation of my son's FREE carnival goldfish.
Evidently after winning a FREE fish, you must BUY a fishtank, BUY various tank decorations, BUY some fishfood, and of course a fishnet.

Needless to say, I am sure, shortly after these purchases the FREE fish dies.

This fish was replaced with two larger, fancier goldfish, also not FREE.
One died rather quickly, because, we learned, there was not enough oxygen in our small tank for two big fish.
So not only were these fish not FREE, but also required further trips to the pet store, sort of a post mortem investigation if you will (hmm, time = money)

Then, I killed the remaining fish by bleaching his plastic plant (it was dirty...what can I say). Really, I thought I had rinsed it well enough... oops. It being my fault, we of couse HAD to BUY another fish.

So we got this betta fish.

As expected, my son soon tired of the fish. So he lives here now, on my desk at work. Where I have since BOUGHT him a lamp - to warm his water and light his tank, some new tank rocks, a new plastic plant, and a plethora of fishy medicines to cure this horrible disease he has.

I have grown rather attached to my little aquatic buddy, my FREE fish.

For another time... we also have a FREE dog.

Friday, May 14, 2004


Despite my valiant efforts to avoid all news all the time, I have heard of this Berg thing.
Why ...why would anyone who has read about this - then feel compelled to want to see it.
This vexes me.

Wednesday, May 12, 2004


My first posts were going to be all about me, my family, my life... get that all out up front.
Oh well, next time.
All this stuff ...happening in the news now - all this horrible stuff... I was absolutely ready to completely stop reading, watching and participating in the whole thing (not that I had a strong grasp in the first place).
But then, Beth got me thinking... damn her.
I am the epitome of "not the political type." Quite comfortable in my ignorance. My expertise lies in more important things like lawn care, cleaning products, home repair. Now, I am thinking... and so I suppose I will have to research, compare, ponder, pontificate...and finally - form an opinion...gonna be a busy day.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Monday, May 10, 2004


I always enjoy reading other peoples 'about' pages. Its not so much voyeurism as a way of cutting to the chase. Who are you, are we the same, are we different, does it matter.
So out of fairness, I feel obligated to include one here. I will try not to be too lengthy, because that can get tedious. Although I have been around awhile so I may have to omit some details.
I am honored to share my life with my soulmate. We found each other when we were young enough to be stupid, and fun, and full of lust - for that I am ever thrilled. We are going on 20 years now. She is deep, sensitive and positively sexy. She is an award winning artist (oils and watercolors), she is a Reiki practitioner and one hell of a card shark. She likes to bet on things like football and horse races (I abhor betting), and loves a good glass of cabernet. She's a fabulous writer, and makes the best pesto. She gardens in vegetables and perennials. And, she loves me.
We have two absolutely amazing kids. No, really - these are awesome people, and when we finally release them out into the wild, you will see for yourself. One is in grad school (and living with us for obvious financial reasons -- grad school is hard, and costs alot of money), the other is learning to drive (which is not so hard, but costs alot of money).
We share our home with a big 'free' dog (80 lbs) and a small 'panzy' dog (6 lbs), and a cat (around 12 lbs. in case you wanted to know).
And me... well, I am 40 something, and happy about that. I like my gray hairs and my tiny new wrinkles. I am pleased with my journey. I am happy in my skin. I love to clean - I also love it once I am done cleaning. It's a really odd thing to like so much, but I do. It is my Zen. I cut the grass... alot. I like it to be tidy. That way it also showcases my wife’s beautiful gardens. (however, since the addition of the 'free' dog, both lawn and gardens have suffered somewhat - but that is another story). I am a beer drinker, although have recently discovered Cosmos and I really like them. Most of my wardrobe is from Eddie Bauer. I am not political, although I used to be a news junkie until just recently. Now the news is too hard, too real, too disturbing. Therefore I am now enamored with Animal Planet, the National Geographic channel, oh... and most any cable series out there (Sopranos, L Word, Six Feet Under...). When both are kids are out on their own - I plan to shut cable off completely, and put the old antenna (remember those) back up. Did you know TV is free!
We have been in our home for 16 years. Its an old farmhouse colonial and we have done considerable work to it. A good deal of the work we do ourselves. You may say...we are pretty handy around the house. We can frame, sheetrock, mud, tile, and paint. We have done stonework outside and lighting inside. I can change a faucet, pull and replace a toilet, but draw the plumbing line there.
We have a big yard. 10 years ago...that may have been its more like complaining. Funny how we age, but when you need more than 3 gas powered accessories to maintain a yard - enough is enough.
We are both somewhat homebodies. But have started to venture back out again - now that the kids are pretty much self-sufficient. We are rediscovering ourselves, as we have done many times over the past years. Its fun. You should try it.
That's me and us...
Anything are welcome to ask.