Parenting

We are liberal parents. I wouldn’t go so far as to put us in the category as hippy-parents, buuut we’re probably not far off.
We’ve never pushed our kids, if they wanted to take up an instrument – fine. If they wanted to stop – that’s ok too. Sports were always voluntary. (I have known parents who actually require their kids to participate in one sport per season. We don’t think that way.)
What they did decide to participate in… we supported.
We have spend countless hours on cold bleacher seats, in the rain and even snow. We bought a piano for our daughter who took lessons for years and still serenades us on warm summer nights on the porch. We bought an electric guitar for our son when he showed an interest…ok well that one didn’t really work out – but hey you never know. My point is we never pushed them, they got to pretty much make their own decisions.
I am neither bragging nor ashamed of this – it is what it is.
I offer this as background. Background to what I find unacceptable parent behavior (oh…did I fail to mention I am rather opinionated).

At our match last night our team got spanked. It happens. This is the heart of competition.
With all the lost matches and near wins the tension was high for sure – but there was one story last night that enraged me.
One of our wrestlers, we’ll call him Ray, is a first year wrestler but gets to wrestle varsity matches because the team does not have a more experienced person in his weight class. Ray is a handsome, muscular boy with a lovely olive complexion. I don’t know him well as i do some of the other kids – but he seems reserved and possibly what I might call a bit soft (tends to show his pain easily). Let’s review: 1st year wrestler, young, inexperienced, competing with better wrestlers, not really a hard edged kinda guy.
Ok. So, this young man lost last night after what seemed like a decent battle. He didn’t fight as hard as some we’ve seen – but that criticism will come from his coach, certainly not me. His mother is shouting advice to him the entire match (this is not unusual…we all do this – which is especially comical from me because I am so clueless – luckily Ferris tells me they can’t really hear us… as I scream “get his wrist” ”crossface” ”you’re too high” “shoot” ha…). But where it falls apart for me is… the moment Ray was pinned she says – loud enough for me to hear on the next set of bleachers--, “He gave up to soon.” It wasn’t just what she said…but the look of disgust on her face.
Later after the match he walked up the bleachers to sit with his family, and she actually sneered at him and turned her head.
Unfathomable.
My heart broke for Ray.