And yet again we find that just when you think things have smoothed out...
I spent Friday working from mom's spare room again - we are back over there almost full time until we get the aide situation in a steady groove. Changes in schedule or caregivers cause disruptions and disruptions can lead to anxiety.
Mom did not rest at all during the day yesterday. She was very fidgety. She also has developed a strong desire to take off her shirt. We constantly tell her not to ...and she giggles.
When she tried to lay down for a nap she kept sitting up... finally the aide called me in because mom needed to talk about something.
"ok, so what is the procedure?"
"um...the procedure for what, mom."
"for getting rid of all these rabbits"
"ah...well we can just shoosh them away...like this" waving arms to shoosh rabbits.
"no, that's not going to work"
"ok. I have a friend who removes rabbits. he can come with his truck and take them away"
"good! how long will that take?"
"about and hour, it takes about an hour to remove this many rabbits"
Later that afternoon I assured her the rabbits had been removed to a rabbit farm and were settling in nicely. She seemed pleased.
When I left her that evening she was in the capable hands of Inez.
So when the phone rang at 10p.m. we knew.... if Inez is calling - something is wrong.
Inez explain mom had been very agitated for hours over horses, and was unable to rest. I told her we would be right over.
When we got there -Inez had mom in her wheelchair (this is now one of the few places she will sit still and not fidget to the point of falling). We were pleased to see at least she had her shirt on.
She confided in us that she had killed a small horse. That she didn't have a choice because of something the horse had been doing to her. Many of her sentences don't string together so it was hard to really get a handle on the exact nature of the horses death.
It is because hired aides cannot give PRN medications that we were called in to deal with this. My ever-so-patient and soft-spoken wife gloved up and gently rubbed a Haldol gel into mom's wrists. Haldol is an anti-psychotic drug - and the gel makes it work quickly and is less intrusive than trying to get her to take a pill in this state.
We continued to talk to her calmly and sort out the horse issues. As the drug took effect she calmed and became sleepy. Inez was finally able to get her into bed. We were home before midnight. No more calls.
And today ... well today is another day.
6 comments:
My husband was on Haldol for a short time. It really fucked him up.
Hugs.
We went through the clothing thing and the agitation with my dad, too. As crazy and hard to believe as it sounds, there will actually come a day when you look back on this time and these events, and are actually able to smile a genuine smile.
Hang in there my friends. Continuing to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Just catching up now. Glad to hear the rabbits were taken care of with minimal effort and hope the upcoming challenges can be met with the same care and creativity. Godspeed mom.
We're thinking....mayhaps we hould have your mother and my mother meet for cocktails. They could sit in their Wheelchairs and your mother would discuss the demise of small horses while mine spouted about how she rode her bicycle to california and had such a good time she then rode to peru
Sending big hugs to you and your lovely wife...
a friend's husband, while in his downward spin, sitting on the back deck yelled at me to "go catch the book!". He had been relatively lucid a few moments before, so I was confused. I asked him "what book?". He yelled again, "go catch the book before it goes into the pool!". I paused, then realized what must be happening and jumped up, all the while the rest of the folks were telling me to just "go with it". I ran over to the pool, grabbed the imaginary book "before" it rolled into the pool, shook it out, put it on the counter and came back to eat my lunch. Am sure it made sense to him, but like any of these issues, they can be hard to deal with, when you're used to rational discussions.
Remember to give yourself a gold star or a dozen or so. Ditto what Ann said---write these down now, laugh at them later. Sending hugz from the left coast.
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