Second string

On the weekends we deal with subs - we don't have our A-team of nurses and doctors around.

This weekend we were visited by a nurse that's not only unfamiliar with our case but is new to hospice.
Let's just say it turned out to be a learning experience for everyone.

So I get a call from my sister-in-law on Sunday that this nurse is planning to call an ambulance and transfer my mother to the hospital.
Um.
What.

I get on the phone with the hospice nurse --to explain how hospice works.

The conversation went something like this:
me: "If we transport her to the hospital what will they do there?"

nurse: "well ...there are procedures, surgery..blah blah."

me: "Um, we're on hospice - she is DNR. We don't want surgery or any invasive procedure."

nurse: "Well they can do tests to see what we are dealing with."

me: "First, we know what we are dealing with." duh.
"And why would we do tests when we are not going to do treatment."

nurse: "The doctor said based on [my examination and findings] that we need to transport her."

me: "What doctor?"

nurse: "Well, I couldn't reach her primary so its the on-call."

Great a non-hospice doctor, unfamiliar with our case.

This nonsense went on for awhile until we finally got a doctor we know on the phone who stopped the madness.

In the meantime - mom is sitting in her chair, the Patriots game is one, the whole family is milling around her, the nurse is shrilling on the phone with a doctor, and we are squirting liquid morphine into mom's mouth as quickly as she will let us.

A short time later we all breathe a sigh of relief...
The nurse had left. The Patriots had won. The morphine started to work. And mom starts her familiar babbling. [she basically talks endlessly when she is awake.]

Suddenly mom says:
"Hey, you know.. its been a pretty good day hasn't it?"

Yes. We all laughed... and of course, agreed with her.