Before I forget everything that's happened over the last month ... these next few posts are mostly for me.
Then again... what isn't really.
week 1.
We waited almost a week after the laprascopy to see mom's oncologist. He had been on vacation. We already knew the news was not good, and mom was getting weaker by the day.
So much so in fact, that the day before her oncologist appointment, on August 2nd - she signed herself up for hospice care. Yeah...that's mom. This will become a common theme -- mom is in charge.
With great anticipation we sat and waiting for the doctor (me, mom and my SIL).
He came in completely unprepared! He had not looked at her test results and was not ready with a prognosis or plan of treatment. Apparently, his staff did not update him.
Almost needless to say the three of us were pretty hard on him for this. We had been waiting...sick with anticipation only to have him walk into the room and say ...so how are you?
He became a bit defensive after that... he left the room for a short while and examined the results.
He came back and said...this is very serious...duh - but still suggested palliative chemo. I really got the feeling he was shooting from the hip.
Mom has had plenty of chemo to know that the side effects along with her weakening condition were not how she wanted to spend her remaining time.
She decided not to get treatment.
We went home, and met with our hospice team.
Their first order of business was to get her pain and nausea under control. At that time mom was on percoset q4, causing an up and down roller coaster of pain.
8 comments:
That doc was lucky. It's a good thing MAW wasn't with you. Considering how much of a brat she's being now that she's 'of a certain age', she might have karate chopped him - like Hong Kong Phooey.
I can picture it. Really, I can.
Shame on that doctor. And his staff. Gah! That is unconscionable for an oncologist. As if she was just stopping by to chat.
What a strong woman your mom is to sign herself up for hospice before even seeing the dr for the results.
I would have gone apeshit on the doc for not being prepared. As e said, unconscionable.
What a strong woman your mom is to sign herself up for hospice before even seeing the dr for the results.
I would have gone apeshit on the doc for not being prepared. As e said, unconscionable.
seriously? just figured y'all were ALL in there for fun? no oncologist should walk in a treatment room without looking at results to be able to speak knowledgeably to their patient. Otherwise, send the dang results directly to the patient!
argh!
and, if she's having that much pain, AND is having so much up and down a) remember to stay on top of the pain meds---even if you need to admin the meds a skosh early and b) she should be able to get pain patches to help avoid the peaks and valleys. Hospice *should* give you whatever you request for pain. If they don't, ask to speak to a supervisor and her doc to get her pain managed NOW. It is easier to look back and say "wow, even tho she was a little loopy, better than having her in pain"...than "wow, wish we would have asked for MORE pain meds sooner!".
and good for mom to refuse the chemo...right now, you need to ask "what is the end result we're looking for here?". And, you don't have to stick with the doc if you get attitude again. Hospice can help with that too.
hang in there---keep posting--for your health.
sending hugz from this side of the country
just sending lots of *gentle hugs* as you navigate all of this. speical prayers being said for your Mom and your family.
His staff didn't update him?
What a knob.
Heartfelt thoughts and miraculous wishes to you and your family. love dodes
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