the end of an era?

I have just found out that the Cedar Brook Cafe will be closing.
It is rumoured to be the oldest gay bar in the nation.
Tho somehow I doubt that.
It is old. And in seriously rough shape.

It was old and in rough shape when I was going there, and that folks was in the 80's.

I started going when I was in college.
It was my first gay bar.
I was a regular.
I was there on Fridays and Saturdays, made most Sunday T's, and even went on the occasional Thursday.
There was a good crowd there back then. Lots of wonderfully good looking women, and the men were handsome, buff, tan and great dancers.

I dated the bouncer for a time, and the bartender always had my Michelob ready before I even made it over to the bar.
Back in those days, I never went with anyone - tho I rarely left alone. I eschewed the dance floor and ran the pool table. I flirted, I drank, I cheated*, I smoked, I dated several woman at once...
oh the good times.
ah to be young.

Years later, hmm, well...not many years later - still in my 20's I started dating a terribly attractive woman.
Some of our first dates were at the Cedar Brook Cafe, we called it The Brook.
Turns out we would go there for several years together. I gave up running the pool table so that I could dance with this lovely lady.
Clearly, I was rather smitten.
In fact, I think we stopped going mostly because of the birth of our second child.

And so this rugged little bar has many fond memories for me... for us.

They are having a closing party this Saturday night.
We talked about going, my AARP member-wife and I. But I think we'll pass.

The Brook was our place.
A long time ago.
I'll let it stay that way in my heart and in my memory.

We've lived a whole life since then.
It's not our place anymore - it belongs to a younger, firmer crowd.
We'll let them sweep up and lock the door.

Cheers.


* never at pool

Birds of a feather

We went to see La Ca ge aux Fol les on Broad way this weekend.

Fantastic.

I can't say enough good things about the show, and also ...the day, our lunch, the bottle of prosecco we had with lunch, the wine we had in Bryant Park after the show, the weather, the Two Boots pizza slice and ice cold Bud I had on the train ride home... really all in all a spectacular day.

Our seats were quite nice. 3 rows from the stage. We were pleased.

At intermission a woman and her friend, about my mothers age, sitting behind us were just glowing about the show. One of the women was from the mid-west and told us she saw the very first one on Broadway in the 80's. In fact she sees all the Broadway shows.
She was very cute.

The show ends on a touching high note and the whole audience is kinda charged up. Very fun.
Again we turned to chat with the women sitting behind us. They could not say enough nice things about the show, and that it was so much better than the other production.

The midwest woman asked where I was from... and we exchanged pleasantries. Then they turned to my wife and asked where she was from. I cut in and said - she's my wife.
The women glowed.

"Oh! That's wonderful!"
"How long have you been married?" They asked excitedly.

I explained we were married just over a year, tho we had over 25 years together. I went on to tell them about our grown children that one was near 30 now... and our son just out of college...

They were practically giddy.

The woman from the midwest again went on to say how much she loved the show and the day and that we... my wife and I...

"You two are the icing on my the cake today!"

We all hugged and parted ways... everyone feeling the glow of the day.

Opposites may attract, but...

My companionable wife and I do most things together. We truly enjoy each others company and generally make a good time doing the most mundane of errands.

That said – there are things we not only do on our own because we enjoy our individuality ….but frankly there are just some things that the other doesn’t want to do.
For example – I am not a good craft store pal. I get impatient and grumpy. I just don’t understand the laboring over subtle shades of blue beads.

My creative wife on the other hand is not really a great Home Depot buddy. While she is perfectly happy going with me – she tends to wander off …which then takes quite some time roaming around the store to find her once again (often with a cart full).

This past weekend my adorable, wandering wife accompanied me to said Home Depot where… included on our list would be some considerable contemplation in the toilet repair aisle.
Before we left home I assessed the dire toilet situation – took some measurements, poked around and was fairly prepared to look for the items I thought I might need.

So there we are in the plumbing aisle. My somewhat disinterested wife next to me while I pondered washers and hosing and such. After a short time of me wondering whether I could get away with the 9” tubing since the 8” was not available, or perhaps I should go longer to make a loop…but not too long… – she declares –

“Wait… this fixes 90% of toilet problems”

I turn… in disbelief… to see her holding a brightly colored box… a kit if you will.
A kit.
Really…
90% of the problems.
As I hold my handful of little washers and bolts.

“Lemme see that…”

So we took the brightly colored kit home (along with a couple of the individual parts…just in case).

Worked like a charm.

Somehow I doubt I’ll ever be able to reciprocate in the bead aisle at Michael’s.

Month-aversary

Yesterday was our monthaversary.

There has been a little bag of ice sitting out on the back stoop ever since our wedding night. It's been pretty cold up here.

Just yesterday it melted.

Guess the honeymoon is over.

This night

Faust!


We are gettin' all dolled up and going in early to have 'little plates' and much bubbly.



Tonight... I am taking my effervescent wife -- to the opera.

ef⋅fer⋅ves⋅cent   /ˌɛfərˈvɛsənt/
[ef-er-ves-uhnt]

–adjective
1. effervescing; bubbling.
2. vivacious; gay; lively; sparkling.

1675–85; L effervēscent- (s. of effervēscēns), prp. of effervēscere to effervesce; see -ent

I am going to try to put this into words...

I am not sure if I can get this across in a blog entry.
This is more of a conversation we should have over the dining room table - with cocktails and finger foods. Where I can look at you and you at me and I can use my hands and eyes and inflections to express myself.

Alas, you are not here and I really want to tell you about this - so bear with me.

My adoring wife and I have been together for over 23 years. We have raised two children, several dogs and cats, some fish, and a couple of lizards. We have lived in the same house for 21 of these years, and have painted each room... several times.
We are truly and utterly in love. We are best friends. We are very different. We are very happy.

When the Civil Union bill passed several years ago - my excited wife became a Justice of the Peace. It's been a truly wonderful experience for her to share in so many joyous Unions. She comes home from each ceremony welling with joy. I have been privileged as well to see some of you Unioned.
We are moved by each and every one.

When this bill was passed we were preparing our second child for college, and we made a conscience decision to hold off on our own Civil Union until after he was done with school -- specifically for the financial aid forms. It was our little way of getting back at the system.

Well our son is a junior now, and we were already planning to 'Unionize' next year --and then we heard the Marriage bill had passed.

Yay. So now we’ll be ‘Married’ instead. This is nice.

Ahh.. but over the course of this past week I have to admit… I have been feeling a bit… well… emotional (in the most pragmatic way that I can of course).

Intellectually, I have always understood that a Civil Union would give us the same (state, that is) legal rights as marriage. But what I didn't realize - that in my heart … I never gave it as much weight.
No really… I had no idea that I truly felt this way. That it wasn’t just rhetoric.

Civil Union, after all, is a legal, binding commitment - and yet some how… for me… it was not gelling. I wasn’t giving it the weight it deserved (or did it).

Today I am sitting and thinking about actually marrying the woman I love, and what that truly means. Literally I am welling up as I type – and frankly I am surprising myself.

When I come into work after our ceremony - I must notify my employer that I am now 'Married'.
When I fill out my taxes - I will be 'Married'.
When I go to the doctor and fill in the forms - I will no longer be forced to check the 'Single' box.
There won't be any question or difference or confusion.

I won't be ‘in a Civil Union’.

I can simply check :
[ ] Single
[x] Married
[ ] Divorced
[ ] Widowed

This feels very different - and I don't mean that in the political “I want to fight for my rights way” -- I mean ... emotionally, spiritually, passionately.


I will be married.
I will be a married woman.
After 23 years of calling this adorable, sexy, playful, intelligent, free-spirited woman my wife... she actually will be.



Thank you to the folks at GLAD and LMF and to the couples that participated in the lawsuit, and to the legions that supported them, and to the Connecticut Supreme Court for making a sound and fair judgment.

True Love

When my free spirited wife saw a Bleeding Heart sprouting between the asphalt driveway and the curbing she was enchanted.
She marveled at how beauty can spring forth from anywhere.


And for just this reason ... its still there.

enchanting evening

Each June New Haven puts on the Arts and Ideas festival with all sorts of music, dance and theatre. Saturday night they traditionally present Opera on the Green.

It's a very well attended event with people turning out with full table settings - linens, candles or candelabras, wine and food and all the accoutrement.
Lovely.

The entire experience was delightful; we had perfect weather, a bottle of red, some snacks and fabulous entertainment.

This year East Village Opera Company performed - they were amazing.


Classic opera melded with classic rock. Think Mozart jamming with Pete Townsend.
They have two fantastic vocalists and when they performed the Flower Duet **, my rather smitten wife turned to me and said

"I think I'm in love."








with this woman... incredible voice and a sensual performer; oh... and she's hot.

Luckily ... my adorable wife went home with me.

Though we stopped to buy a CD ...and to meet the band.
















** renowned in the opera world for its sexual tension and lesbian subtext

Happy Valentines Day

Go do something romantic.

You don't need a dozen roses, or a box of chocolates, or a dinner out...

How about a slow dance in the kitchen, a hot bubble bath for two, or just a quiet moment of small, sweet whispers.