the end of an era?

I have just found out that the Cedar Brook Cafe will be closing.
It is rumoured to be the oldest gay bar in the nation.
Tho somehow I doubt that.
It is old. And in seriously rough shape.

It was old and in rough shape when I was going there, and that folks was in the 80's.

I started going when I was in college.
It was my first gay bar.
I was a regular.
I was there on Fridays and Saturdays, made most Sunday T's, and even went on the occasional Thursday.
There was a good crowd there back then. Lots of wonderfully good looking women, and the men were handsome, buff, tan and great dancers.

I dated the bouncer for a time, and the bartender always had my Michelob ready before I even made it over to the bar.
Back in those days, I never went with anyone - tho I rarely left alone. I eschewed the dance floor and ran the pool table. I flirted, I drank, I cheated*, I smoked, I dated several woman at once...
oh the good times.
ah to be young.

Years later, hmm, well...not many years later - still in my 20's I started dating a terribly attractive woman.
Some of our first dates were at the Cedar Brook Cafe, we called it The Brook.
Turns out we would go there for several years together. I gave up running the pool table so that I could dance with this lovely lady.
Clearly, I was rather smitten.
In fact, I think we stopped going mostly because of the birth of our second child.

And so this rugged little bar has many fond memories for me... for us.

They are having a closing party this Saturday night.
We talked about going, my AARP member-wife and I. But I think we'll pass.

The Brook was our place.
A long time ago.
I'll let it stay that way in my heart and in my memory.

We've lived a whole life since then.
It's not our place anymore - it belongs to a younger, firmer crowd.
We'll let them sweep up and lock the door.

Cheers.


* never at pool

Birds of a feather

We went to see La Ca ge aux Fol les on Broad way this weekend.

Fantastic.

I can't say enough good things about the show, and also ...the day, our lunch, the bottle of prosecco we had with lunch, the wine we had in Bryant Park after the show, the weather, the Two Boots pizza slice and ice cold Bud I had on the train ride home... really all in all a spectacular day.

Our seats were quite nice. 3 rows from the stage. We were pleased.

At intermission a woman and her friend, about my mothers age, sitting behind us were just glowing about the show. One of the women was from the mid-west and told us she saw the very first one on Broadway in the 80's. In fact she sees all the Broadway shows.
She was very cute.

The show ends on a touching high note and the whole audience is kinda charged up. Very fun.
Again we turned to chat with the women sitting behind us. They could not say enough nice things about the show, and that it was so much better than the other production.

The midwest woman asked where I was from... and we exchanged pleasantries. Then they turned to my wife and asked where she was from. I cut in and said - she's my wife.
The women glowed.

"Oh! That's wonderful!"
"How long have you been married?" They asked excitedly.

I explained we were married just over a year, tho we had over 25 years together. I went on to tell them about our grown children that one was near 30 now... and our son just out of college...

They were practically giddy.

The woman from the midwest again went on to say how much she loved the show and the day and that we... my wife and I...

"You two are the icing on my the cake today!"

We all hugged and parted ways... everyone feeling the glow of the day.

Real life IS like the LWord

I wrote once about how surreal (and fantastic) it was that on the LWord show UPS delivery people were all women, hot - and oh, just happened to be lesbians.
And of course they would sleep with you if you were so lucky as to be home when your package was delivered.

So I had to laugh today - I was out in the front lawn tending to the fall leaves.
Here I am cruising around on my 15HP lawn tractor, in the requisite barn coat with heavy gloves -check, work boots -check... also sporting an incredibly cute hat.

I notice a UPS truck driving up the street. Its slows. Sure enough... it comes to a stop in front of our house. The driver jumps down off her seat and gives me a wave as she goes into the back of her truck... whooo weeee. Stunning.

Of course, I leap off my tractor (lucky me ...didn't fall off) to retrieve the package.
And oh my...that smile, those eyes.

Here is where the story deviates...ya know, slightly... at least in real life. I toss the package on the porch and jump back on the tractor as the UPS truck pulls away.

Isn't life grand.

I love my sensible shoes

I was sitting at my desk at work feeling a little chilly - luckily I had brought a sweater. Sometimes the A/C in the office gets to me.

I went to get a cup of tea to warm up and passed the elevator on my way.
Standing there was a very attractive young woman in a rather clingy short dress. Once I got past the oogling - I noticed her clingy little dress was short sleeved and she wore strappy high heeled sandals. While I was easily able to appreciate every curve - nothing about that outfit looked the least bit comfortable.
I mean I may be a little colder than most - but this woman had very little on, and her feet were completely exposed. Brrr.

A fellow walked up to also wait for the elevator. He was wearing standard business-ish attire. Pleated pants with sensible shoes, I will take a leap and assume he was wearing stylish, yet comfortable, trouser socks. Long sleeve dress shirt with a short sleeve white T underneath.
He looked very comfortable.
He looked warm.
I can understand a woman wanting to look pretty and fashionable - but to me that woman standing there just started to look - -- well ... cold.
I wanted to toss her a blanket.

How many times have I seen a fancy couple out to dinner. The woman in a gorgeous sleeveless dress, and sandals. Her manly date in a suit. In November.
sheesh women...

It's times like these that just make me so happy to be a sensibly dressed lesbian.

Beni's

Today I am signing up for some health/medical benefits at the ginormous, international company that I work for now. First, before I rant --let me just say that I love the people I work with and the company has been incredibly kind and accommodating.

But ... we are ginormous - and there is this huge HR machine. The company is teaming with HR folk.

In order to sign up my 'legal' wife on my benefits, even tho we have a legal marriage certificate, I still need to have papers notarized and show 'proof' of our relationship.
If I were married to a man I would need to show no proof at all. I would simply jot his name down on the web-form and click Submit.

Fine... fine... I'm gay... ok ok.

So I am making copies today... and I prepared a letter:

Attn: Benefits Team

Please find the enclosed documents:

• a notarized copy of the Domestic Partnership Affidavit
  
• and as proof of partnership I provide:
  
  
  
  • a copy of our valid/notarized Connecticut marriage license
    
  • a copy of our drivers licenses showing our common address
    
  • a real estate tax statement showing both our names on our property
    
  
  

Please note we have owned this home together for 21 years. We are listed as each others primary beneficiary on every account we have, we have joint bank accounts as well as credit cards, and our wills show each other to be the primary recipient. And our children refer to us as their ‘parents’.

Sadly, married same sex couples need to further prove their commitment past a legal marriage document. A document, which by the way, is not required at all when claiming an opposite sex marriage.

Please let me know if you need any other information from me.

Thank you,

That finale

We watched the LWord finale last night with friends.
We had wine and chocolate... it was sublime.
But I am sure going to miss all the hot lesbian sex.

My chocolate-loving wife made her infamous flourless chocolate cake.
She wrote the names of most of the cast (the hot ones anyway) on the cake.
That way we could pick who we wanted to eat.
(run with it Syd)

Eating crow

Isn't that a silly saying? I bet it tastes like chicken.

Ok, so yesterday a friend asked if we were going to join in on this protest thingame-whatsy going on tomorrow -- evidently all over the country -- in peaceful opposition to the goings on in California. (prop 8 for those of you under rocks).





But I said we had things to do. We have yard work, and house work, and several projects in the midst. We have no time for protesting... and the last thing I wanted to do was stand out in the rain with 12 people I don't know. You know how these grass roots things can be. Small, underfunded, poorly attended. I just wasn't interested.

I even did a little research on the whole movement. For goodness sakes - it was a website started just last week by some woman on her lunch hour.

I mean really... call me when you have something real going on.

Welp, after gentle prodding by a blog friend, and finding out this morning that the HRC is now endorsing this nationwide event, and I hear that LMF is now on board as well... I'm listening.

It seems there may be something real going on.

Who knows... maybe we'll make some history.

I do...

It occurred to me after reading the post of good friend, and checking our messages on the answering machine last night -that I may have been remiss not mentioning that yesterday was the first day same sex marriages could be performed in Connecticut.

Yay CT!

The messages on our machine were from two couples looking for my officially-elected wife to perform wedding ceremonies.

Yay for weddings!

It struck me they both used the word 'marriage' in their messages. We could always tell in the past if it were a gay or straight ceremony based on the language of the message.

Yay for marriages!

As for us... no, we did not get married yesterday.
A girl's gotta plan you know.

Pride '07

We had such a great time at NYC Pride last year that we decided to add to the fun and go in a day early for the women's dance on Pier 54.

Fantastic. The music was great, the women were hot, and we danced until we couldn't stand anymore.

What I treasure about being able to celebrate Pride in NYC is the powerful ties to the origin of a movement. While this was only our second time ... we again got to talk to someone who was there at the beginning... Stonewall '69.

Sunday morning we walked into a bar (yes.. morning ... bar... hey - it was Pride) and while we were sipping our breakfast mimosa's - our bartender, a retired NYC cop who served The Village precinct, regaled us of stories of Stonewall and how it all began.

So while you are celebrating Pride events around the country and wearing rainbows and watching parades and dancing and enjoying the 'scenery' - remember where it started.

Am I really a lesbian?

While its true that I have a tool belt, a basement full of power tools, a ride on mower, even the short hair cut - there is one thing that keeps me from truly crossing that cliche line.

I don't own a Subaru.
My petite wife drives a Wrangler- which I think is a good substitute on the cliche scale. Plus she looks really hot in it sporting a tank shirt with the top down.

Last night on TV I saw a Subaru commercial. It seems they have built a new plant in Indiana which creates zero landfill waste.
Zero.
Wow.
And the site is a protected wildlife habitat.
Not to mention they have those gay commercials on Logo.
What's not to like?

Bravo to my pal Zoe who just picked one up!

Of course, I started shopping online immediately.
Hmm, they don't make a convertible...
Don't lesbians like convertibles?

Symbolism

I was reminded this past weekend of the first time I heard the story behind the Christian fish symbol.
The story was told to me by Dr. Lord, my Art History professor in college.
Dr. Lord was a stout woman who wore her gray hair short and slicked back. She had a deep gravely voice clearly attained from years of smoking. Dr. Lord was always smoking. Back when I was in college and especially in our art department, smoking in class was the norm. Little foil disposable ashtrays were even provided for our convenience.
So there we would sit in the dark looking at slides, smoking our cigarettes and listening to Dr. Lord’s gravely voice tell us stories of great works of art and architecture.

Dr. Lord’s smoking was a thing of great fascination, she would take these deep… long… draws on her cigarettes and hold… and then… she would begin to speak. She never exhaled and no smoke ever came out of that woman. She was like a smokeless ashtray.
We used to take seats in the back of class just to watch this in amazement.

But I digress… back to the fish.

Dr. Lord explained to us, between deep long draws on her Newport 100’s, that after the accession of Jesus, early followers of Christianity were somewhat persecuted. And so they devised a clever way of identifying each other in passing.
When two strangers met and thought maybe they were fellow believers, one of them would draw on the ground, perhaps casually with a walking stick, the upper half of the fish symbol.

Recognizing the symbol, the stranger would add a second curved line to complete the drawing of a fish.


I always liked this story… the whole secret society thing appealed to me – well except for the persecution part, but you get my drift.

What reminded me of this story was that I finally got around to adhering a Human Rights sticker to my car this weekend.

What I like about this symbol is that while it is widely know in my community it’s not readily recognized by the general populous.

I don’t personally feel persecuted, but it does make me feel like a part of some secret society … and I don’t mean that in the closeted sense.
I just like the idea of having it be seen on my car and immediately understood.
It conjures up ideas of perhaps meeting someone in the grocery store where my gaydar might be engaged and perhaps placing a string cheese strategically on the child seat in my shopping cart – only to have it added to by a pretzel rod from their cart….
.
.