uh oh

My bouncy wife got her 'big ball' yesterday.
Had loads of fun just sitting at her desk all day.
But....

Dear wife, please read this.

Fender Bender

First let me just say – I have nothing against motorcycles. I am a carefree, spirited gal – I even wanted one a short while ago. Went so far as to do some online shopping to pick a model. Of course, true to form, I selected the smallest, slowest motorcycle I could find. Really, if it weren’t for the fear of falling off and scraping my skin to the bone *shudder* I would have one. Well, except I don’t really like to go fast either and the thought of doing any speed say over 20mpg straddling a rocket engine without body armor is less than appealing. I came very close to getting a Vespa, and still have hopes that when my sporty wife and I move to the shore we will simply have to have them to scoot over to the beach and back. But – I digress.
I am aware that folks who ride motorcycles are painfully aware of their vulnerability. There are bumper stickers that allude to this. I am one to always give them plenty of room, never pull out into a lane in front of one or follow to close behind. I try to be sensitive to the fact that motorcyclist must be terrified of family vans. Yes, I drive a family van – I may mentioned this before… I will tell you all sometime just how much I love my van.
Anyway…off track again – this morning on my way in to work I had to chuckle. There was an accident, a minor accident… car vs. motorcycle. I came upon the scene from the back and noticed a very shiny new Harley Davidson parked along the curb with some small shiny parts strewn about the road. As I came closer I could see around the corner where a very shiny new black Lexus was pulled over. Two well dressed middle aged men (quiet David...yes, I know we are ’middle age’) were standing behind this vehicle inspecting the back bumper holding their wallets in their hands, and generally looking a bit embarrassed.
The news clip will read something like this:

Motorcycle Rear Ends Lexus
Two local men, apparently both suffering from mid-life crisis’ had an accident at the corner of Elm Street. No injuries, other than their ego’s, were reported.

I will put this in my ‘you don’t see that every day category’.

in memoriam

fish died at 9:03

Fish

Fish is dying today. I thought he was dead when I came in this morning. He was lying at the bottom of the tank - ashen looking. He suddenly started to swirl and flip around splashing water out of the tank, stopping abrubtly to sink to the bottom on his side. I was sure that was his final death throw.
He has done that 4 times since.
This fish does not want to die. I applaud his efforts - but sometimes you just need to trust the universe.
Today I am on death watch.

Big balls

That’s something I don’t get to say much. You know… due to my curious lack of athletic ability. But these balls I don’t have to throw, catch or chase after.
My health conscience wife has decided that we need to sit on big balls at work…rather than our ergonomically inferior office chairs. She says it will improve posture, and stimulate, rather than stagnate, our muscles. I am a bit skeptical. I keep thinking I am going to roll off of it. I have images of myself bouncing out of my cubicle and down the hall…
My sister in law just got one, she works for a colossal insurance company – and here is what she had to say:

I have gotten at least 10 visitors to my desk today wondering what the heck I am sitting on. Mostly strangers too. They are all completely dumbfounded by the concept of sitting on a ball. Only one lady seemed to understand. I have a feeling that people are going to start showing up here because they heard about the crazy girl who sits on a ball. They will come from the other side of the building to see if the rumors are true!!

I did some online research – and have strongly suggested we at least purchase the ‘anti-burst’ model – for obvious reasons. It also came up over cocktails last night that I may prefer a hippity-hop. Then I can just bounce my way to all my meetings…
I'll let you know how it goes.

my boycott

I have not made a big deal about this…ok, well maybe I have… but I am still quite happily boycotting news. And I feel great. Oh sure, the first couple days were hard. I snuck a headline here and there, checked the previews for the upcoming tv news mags – but its easier now…and really, I don’t think I miss it. I am more peaceful. I am more uniformed. I am damn near ignorant.

I was a news junkie. Now I say that with a huge caveat – because I was not all that politically defined or opinionated, as most of us junkies tend to be. I just listened, soaked it up, wanted to know what was going on. I chose news. My radio was always tuned to NPR. I read Time or Newsweek, the local papers. For entertainment I would always choose a news-ish show over anything else, 20-20 was news enough for me. I could not hide behind not taking sides, and not having an opinion…I was a junkie.

I am not sure why it happened but it started to get hard… and harsh, I don’t know if it was me or the world. But it was too much. So I decided to quit. Cold turkey. No news shows, no radio, no yahoo news at lunchtime, no magazines …sometimes I even skip over blog posts. Beth is often a ‘news worthy’ source – so I just wait for another post… less newsy. And Treppenwitz… well …sometimes I just read him anyway and consider it a history lesson. Its one of the reasons I like Dooce so much - no news there.
Some things slip through the cracks, I heard someone else, somewhere else, was beheaded the other day, but that’s all I know – really.

And guess what? I am fine. I am learning more about sled dogs and the Mayans than is probably necessary.. but its all good.

Finals week

Its finals week and Ferris went to school today in pajamas.
He is my son mind you - its not like he rolled out of bed and into the car. He showered and carefully selected the outfit, including 'old man' slippers. He gel'ed his hair so it has that 'just rolled out of bed' look.
The kid cracks me up.

dog update

ok ok David...
I suppose you can consider this good news and bad news. The dog we saw last week was not being mistreated and was not a stray. It's a 10 year old dog who is sick and under the care of a vet.
(my wife is laughing at me right now...BUT - the animal control officer did ask me to call again if I saw any other problems in the future)
- suburban animal cop signing out.

till then

off from work tomorrow..yay (which means no posting 'till monday perhaps)
little time to post today - am deeply embedded in Excel.

will do small, free projects around the house/yard tomorrow.
free - because of an imposed spending freeze due to a budget meeting we had last week, where we had to form a small committee and have a vote and a couple of referendums and there was no optimal solution except to cut spending but since we have no teachers to fire, or municipal expenditures we had no other choice but to infringe upon the spending allocations of the household and all dwellers with the exception of absolute necessities - those being food and housing -- I did try to get ‘trips to Wal-Mart’ through on a rider suggesting that the new stick vac I needed for the second floor was an absolute necessity due to a substantial increase in dog hair production in that area, alas it was overturned on the floor.
Although I swear if I find the ‘right’ pair of black shoes – I may have to put in for a waiver.
'till monday then. enjoy.

go here, read this

"Robert Lerose was the winner of tonight's Great American Think-Off arguing that same-sex marriages should not be prohibited."


Nice find Ace.

SALE

the Lisa Day sales events should be

"Buy any home appliance - vacuum, blender, steam cleaner or food processor of your choice, and get a power tool* FREE."

woo hoooo. now that's a sale.

* Power tool must be of equal or lower value. To meet Lisa Day requirements power tool must come with attractive carrying case and be no less than 14 volt or 11 amp, which ever applies. Sale prices do not apply to previously marked down items or tools in ugly colors. All accessories must be purchased separately and must be a matching or complimentary color.

Animal Cops - Suburbia

Am I watching too much Animal Planet these days…
On the way into school/work this morning my son and I had just started up our street (he drives us in the mornings, he has his permit only so far). We passed a house three houses away from ours and I saw a dog on their steps that was so emaciated I just kept saying “Oh my God, Oh my God.”
My quick thinking driver swung into the nearest driveway and spun us around and back to that house. We looked again. And sure enough this dog was so painfully thin I could see where is leg bones connected to his hips. Each rib was so clearly defined we could not only count them but see where they connected to the backbone. I was horrified, completely wrecked. Thank goodness I was not driving.
This is suburbia folks. Our lawns are green and weed free, our houses are well kept, our pets are fat, happy and generally confined to their own yards. I never expected to see such a thing in person, let alone at a neighbors house. I was tempted to drive back and hurl a bag of dog food out the window.
But instead, thanks to my Animal Cops training, I called the police. An Animal Control Officer has already called me back and is going to look into the situation. I will keep you posted.
Of course if I hear nothing by this afternoon there’s gonna be a Purina shower on our street....

Lisa Day

As you know, Sunday was Lisa Day.
You did know that right. You saw the ads in all the store circulars, the hallmark card signs, the commercials for FTD….no huh.
Lisa Day was dreamt up by our kids. It falls directly between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, and follows a similar tradition as those day. Could be breakfast in bed…might be a brunch, or as it was this year – sushi dinner ...yay.
When you looking for a really good solution to a situation, ask a child – sometimes they will come up with solutions when you didn’t even realize you needed one. They reason better than we grown people do, its much more uncluttered. As lesbian parents you have to make some decisions early on. (Hopefully, in time this will not be as much of an issue as it was near 20 years ago… when we started on this adventure.). Well, I never wanted a ‘mom’ title. I am not the mother of our children. They did not (as my articulate wife may put it) spring forth from my loins. Some couples come up with alternate titles for the second parent – but I didn’t want to make something up. To the kids I have always been Lisa (or … Weese). So after a few Mother’s and Father’s Day celebrations passed – they realized there was no day for me, this seemed to make no sense to them so… they simply made one (now…these were small kids at the time – so appropriate credit must be given to my patient wife for orchestration and some guidelines so we wouldn’t be say…bungee jumping rather than enjoying the more docile Sunday brunch). And so – every year since then there is a day just for me… which, by the way, tends to float a bit depending on the year – so I never really know when its gonna happen and the kids revel in this surprise.

I had a lovely day. Spent the early afternoon doing something I love – puttering around doing any little project that presents itself, which most of the time will involve power tools, probably some paint, for sure a broom and the occasional hose and bucket. Followed by a fabulous sushi dinner – where both kids actually tried the raw fish for the first time. Then home to the patio for smores roasted over the chiminea.

I have times when I am completely swept up by a moment. I can actually feel a sort of energy rise within me. It can be spurred by all sorts of sensory inputs.
It can be something as simple as padding around a freshly cleaned house and that wonderfully clean, smooth feel the wood floors have under your bare feet. (ok..this one is probably mine alone... my chi is centered in a clean house)
It can be more sensual … a glance from my beautiful wife can take my breath away.
Driving with the windows open and suddenly smelling fresh cut grass always lifts me.
Sometimes the late afternoon sun will graze our freshly cut lawn into a picture perfect sea of green. On a summer morning, there can be a certain mixture of the right temperature, a soft breeze, the angle of the sun and fresh dew rising that just makes me so happy to be alive. Do you know these moments?
One evening recently, I had come out of the house to do some menial task perhaps it was the garbage or recyclables or some such thing. I came down the walk and into the driveway, and had one of those moments. My green-thumbed wife has gardened the entry to our home into a festival of blooms that at that moment, with the dimming light of the day and the fresh smell of evening just falling, the heady scent of the heavy blooms… well it moved me.

(the pic does no justice…but it was the best I could do until they actually get that smell-o-rama thing working on the web)

A thought on couples

This is just something that bothers me. If you love someone, and have chosen to spend your life with them (or …if you’re one of those skittish of commitment types…perhaps you have just chosen to spend your ‘now’ with them…that’s fine too).
Then act like it damnit.
Don’t speak poorly of your beloved, don’t talk about them like it’s a chore to be with them, don’t complain about them while you are out with your friends. If you do, then perhaps you should choose someone else…or better still, perhaps your beloved should.
(see what happens when I go out to an after work happy hour :)

It was swift, merciless. I wouldn’t call it gruesome. Actually, it was almost graceful. Executed with such precision that it was practically painless, altho not completely without misery. There were times when I thought it may get better, take a turn from the worst. There were times when I almost enjoyed it, sick as that may sound. I suppose, if I had to I could even do it again.
Yes. We played Monopoly again last night.
Where the HELL are the Mets, on vacation or something!

Bueller...Bueller...

Do you know the movie 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off'?
Well... we are raising Ferris.
This boy has a heart of gold - he is just filled with mischief, and is a skilled charmer. His latest endeavor ...
As we are coming into finals week it’s time to bring the ole grades up (this happens every marking period, and he is man who works well under pressure). This is also a very important report card, as it will make or break his car insurance deduction (the good grades discount). So… he has a deal with one of his (female I might add) teachers to add points to his grade if he can go 7 days without TV. This of course, because anything else would be inhumane, does not include Mets games.

As any other red-blooded high school lad - he is addicted to TV. So this really is a trial of his will. We applaud his efforts and are doing what we can to ease his pain.
Last night...it was a killer game of monopoly.

You have not played Monopoly until you play with this guy. Granted - there was some rule stretching, especially as it came to buying and selling properties and houses...but who is to argue with him in this economy of over inflated real estate values.
Houses were being bought sold and moved around as we counted our tokens around the board. He would tear down houses in front of my token (well..I should note I did negotiate a bit of a loan while his crafty mother was in the powder room), only to put up hotels behind me as mom entered the neighborhood. Now, don't go feeling sorry for her. The bank actually ran out of 500.00 bills. Her nickname for this game was 'Wad'.

He played the entire game with about 10 bucks of actual cash – he bought, he sold, he mortgaged, he bought back, he traded, he tried to go to jail as much as possible…but he stayed in the game until the end… somehow.
I thankfully was bankrupt by 10, and went to bed. The game went on for some time after that. I heard this morning that the bank actually ran out of money. I have also heard 'Ferris' wants to play again tonight. However, I am thinking we go with something more docile like Pop-O-Matic Trouble perhaps.

Is there a Mets game on tonight?

Pet Hospice

ok. well - Here is the run down.
I have previously written about the fish.
He has fin-rot. He is still alive, with barely any fins left making steering difficult.
Truly amazing will to live...in a fish.

The cat was diagnosed with cancer of the sinus a couple weeks ago.
He was gravely ill, blood streaming from his nose, the vet didn't think he would make it through the weekend.
But he did. And actually seems much better now. Not sure how long he has at this point.
But he is killing birds and playing with catnip, seems happy enough.

The little dog was just diagnosed with kidney failure on Friday. She has to eat special (prescription) food. This will keep her alive for a year or two. Of course she will NOT have anything to do with this food. Not really sure what that does to her prognosis. Again, I suppose we will just wait and see.

The big dog is ...fine. Other than the fact that she escaped (fenced yard) last week and rolled in something so horrible that I had to wash her numerous times before being allowed back into the house. But she could end up being pretty lonely next year. (no, my love... no replacement pets).

Lucky for us, my sensitive wife is a trained hospice volunteer. (of course...she is an 'arts' volunteer - not sure how that will apply to pets.)

Smarty Pants

Smarty Jones...Smarty Ass...whatevaah..
Be sure to place your bets by post time folks - and lets see if this mudder can take the Triple Crown.
As my wily wife will tell you, "You can't win if you don't play."

Busy weekend. Off to Roma's Italian Deli today to pick up some sweeeet Italian sauseeege ana nice-a Reggianno Parmigianna, ana some-a Romano Locatelli...nice-a nice. A nice-a meal for da two hour finale of Sopranos. Ana we gonna eat breathin' heavy...justa lika Tony. He's a gooda boy.

about me...

added my 'About' link.
over there --->
to the right.

Memorial Day

I am not sure when this changed for me, but I love going to small town parades on Memorial Day. I absolutely tear up when the Veterans walk by.

On Monday we were out gardening and the jets flew over us three times (going from town to town to do the local parade flyovers). We were both vaklempt. Of course we starting waving wildly at them and were sure that the third pass (which was directly overhead) was just for us.

Mourn those who died, rejoice those who made it back, and pray for and admire those who are fighting for us now.