does this make me look old

The problem, as I see it, with this 'my hair should look like I just woke up' look - is that I can no longer tell if a guy is lazy and unkempt or seriously fashionable.

a little something for everyone

I went to the bank today. The branch... you know where there are actual tellers and such.
I was cashing in rolls of quarters and proceeds from our tag sale, car wash and bake sale - to get a deposit check together for the new house we are going to own tomorrow.

It took the teller a few moments to gather the paper work and count all those quarters - so I was idly watching the TV screen over her head. Normally I eschew screens in places of business. I find them disturbing and bothersome.
But something struck me about this show.
It was CNBC and they were discussing some top trader type fellow who was leaving his company and going to another. Apparently, this was big news and causing much stir.

But what struck me was the set, the commentators, the backdrop - even the stuff running at the bottom. This literally could have been on ESPN, with the topic about any of the big time players moving to another team. Even their body language and conversation patterns were just the same as I had seen Ferris watch a million times on his sports channels.

I began to picture a room of young analysts in front a huge TV, swilling beer and snacking on chips and big meat sandwiches**. They would argue back and forth about the move... was it the right move, was the new company smart in paying so much at sign on, how would the old company recover.

Hey... whatever you're into.
It's just nice to know those boys have a show to watch too.


** ok, possibly they would be swilling martinis and munching on fancy crackers slathered in caviar. but I like my imagery better.

the pregnant pause

I cannot stand reality TV.
O sure... I thought Survivor was nifty -- when it began ten years ago.

But now reality TV makes me want to toss the big backlit box out into the driveway.
Yes, I could just turn it off and walk away - but I am weak and clearly addicted.

You see we have this routine, and I am all about routine.

Each evening my cuddly wife and I retire to our suite to ready ourselves for rest. This inevitably happens 10 minutes or so before the hour. During this time I switch on the TV in preparation to begin some carefully selected show that will be used for the sole purpose of setting the sleepy-timer to.
For the 10 minutes or so before our show on the Great Pyramids, or Mega Movers (a weese fave) or perhaps Animal Cops comes on, there are the final moments in a myriad of REALity TV shows.

It seems to me - granted I don't actually watch the shows -- that every single one of them ends with this cliche, irritating pause before they 'reveal' the big outcome to the nervous contestant.

You know this pause. Maybe once a long time ago - it felt new and clever and left you on the edge of your seat. But seriously, how many times can a pause like this be effective, certainly its no longer gripping.

The host will lead with some ubiquitous unfinished sentence... some examples are (but not limited to):
"The audience voted and ..."
"The amount is..."
"The winner is..."
The camera then pans to the nervously awaiting contestant... and there
we

P
A
U
S
E

And so as quickly as I can I grasp for the remote, fumbling with the buttons only to switch to another channel with another host doing the same stupid pause with a different, yet frighteningly identical set of moronic contestants.

Why oh why do I not toss the thing out the window.

Everybody is talking about it

The whole flu thing...
First, let me just say - we had bacon last night. So we're doing our part in eradicating the source. Don't worry people - I will eat as much bacon is necessary for the good of the human race.

But this whole pandemic fright has also gotten me to thinking of mortality of course.
Ya know... whats really important, how short life is and all that.
Almost makes me want to stop dieting, live life like its my last day.
But that's not gonna happen - there's no way I am leaving this earth in anything over a size 10.
O the horror...

Your children are everyone’s future

Child rearing is more than molding children into tiny versions of ourselves. We need to teach reasoning and decision and selection. Many parents are already very good at this with their toddlers, and it can be as simple as choosing an outfit, or selecting a paint color for their room.
So why is it we fall apart as parents when our children are old enough to vote?

There has been a lot of talking over the last couple weeks around and about the recent elections and their process. And as much as I try not to listen, all this talk has uncovered a family phenomenon that disturbs me.

Parents who try to get their adult kids to vote along their party lines, and even publicly disapprove when they do not.

Parents, please –don’t underestimate and certainly don’t abuse the influence you have on your children – even when they are grown. You must know that by trying to make them acquiesce to your way of thinking only one of two things can happen.
They will bend– thereby losing their own conscience and most likely becoming apathetic.
Or they will rebel – by simply choosing the opposite. Unfortunately that decision will not be made of rational and intelligent reasoning. It’s simply falling back into the psychological play of the persuasive parent and indignant child.

These are people, people. They have their own minds. Right or wrong, with you or against you – they think.
That, my friends, is the greatest gift of being a parent. To have spawned, sheltered and released a person who can think, and be, and is whole.


Allow me to give you an example:

Let’s be in the living room of a typical American home. You see a strapping young man pacing – sick with worry, weak with fear, visible sweat on his brow. He is about to tell his conservative parents he is gay. And he is anticipating their rejection, their anger, and worst - their disapproval.
You feel his pain don’t you?
You’re already mad at his parents for not being accepting and supportive, aren’t you?

Ok.
Now… let’s be in a different living room down the street.
Another strapping young man, feeling the same fears, the same doubts and only really wanting his parent’s acceptance.
But this boy’s parents are liberal lesbians, and he is about to tell them… he is a Republican.

People – could you just let you children grow into their own adulthood. Create a loving and accepting environment where free thinking is encouraged. Where to live under the same roof with someone who doesn’t vote your way is comfortable, even applauded.
Help them to reason their own views. Not to follow yours.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But it does fall.

Part of the problem could be that I am currently reading 'Walden' --
but here's what happened.

I was sitting in a Dr.'s office waiting room yesterday afternoon, thumbing through a magazine. The magazine I picked up was some 'home-ish' type rag with a picture of a cute, but pricey lakehouse cottage on the front.

Who doesn't love a lakehouse cottage?

I started to read the cover article about the happy, happy family pictured in their cute, but pricey lakehouse cottage. The pictures showed their happy, happy children carrying around a top of the line but gently used kayak, and their adorable Labrador dog lapping their happy faces and scampering around the finely manicured yard. The article talked about how these folks built their house to look historic and renovated... rather than like new construction. It mentioned how they left the open rafters on the second floor to gain that rustic look. I wondered, only briefly, what climate they might be in... but didn't have much time to ponder over that because I was quickly bombarded with pictures of their o so Pottery Barn interior, interestingly showing that happy Labrador in almost every shot (hmm, no visible dog hair on the floor). My climate question was eventually answered however, when it was mentioned that this happy, happy family only stays in this house during the warm summer months. They retreat to their winterized home down the street for the rest of the year.

That's when I put the magazine down and picked up National Geographic.

Something so seemingly innocent.
Cute little pictures of a cute little lake cottage...
Tell me, what is the percentage of people who can actually afford that lake cottage - nevermind afford it as a second home.

And so it is further ingrained in our sheep like brains -- we WANT it, we NEED it. We will be HAPPY if we have this, and so will our family, and our dog.
My poor, poor dog... o dear.

Over and over, on TV, in magazines, in advertisements we are trained to want more. We are convinced that these are the things that bring us true joy.

And if you are EVEN thinking of commenting that you like to read these magazines just for decorating ideas and such ...think again.

My point is that exactly.

That's precisely how they get the average person to read these magazines. They know you can't afford this cottage. But clearly you can apply some of these great ideas to your own home!
Because then people.. you will be happy.
And your mutt will become a Labrador but will not shed, and your children will do well in school, and they will love you unconditionally - even through their teen years, and your marriage will improve and your sex life will be better than you can imagine.

my politics

It's everywhere, it's ubiquitous, it's larger than life...
it's the political opinion.

Every website, newspaper, magazine and commentary and commercials and billboards -- it's all political opinion. Opinion. You're blogging about. You have an opinion. Your opinion is right.

I stayed in tune with it for a short time. I began to watch the conventions, I got caught up in The Times, I was reading what you had to say on your blogs -- until I noticed...
I stopped, I became still, I became aware.
All of this political bombardment was actually causing physiological changes within me. These translated into something akin to anxiety. It didn't seem to matter whether I agreed with the opinion or not.

It didn't feel good.

Then I remembered ...choice.
I can choose my candidate, and leave you to choose yours.
I can also choose to avoid the deluge.
I can choose to feel good.

And so I choose to abstain.

So dear, dear friends - if your talking around the water cooler, I may quietly slip out of the room. If you are blogging about your politics, for which you are right and have every right to do, I won't be reading or commenting.

It doesn't mean I don't love you. It doesn't mean I won't drink water at work or that I won't check blogs to read about your latest home improvement fiasco, or how your dog has the sniffles.

I simply choose to find calm.

peace good friends

Go World

"The most important thing is not to win but to take part!".
--De Coubertin

Have you been watching the Olympics?
We have. We started Friday night with the opening ceremonies. We love the opening ceremonies. It is essential to have a globe nearby…. and cocktails… and in this case – take out Chinese. Hey… its close.
These ceremonies were absolutely spectacular, and watching the athletes arrive in the National Stadium had us all kinds of vaklempt.

Unfortunately, I have heard several times over the weekend folks saying they are boycotting the Olympics. People –do you really think that by not turning on your TV you will make a difference in the screwed up politics of China… um yeah… that sounds just like an American.

But really – what are you boycotting… the athletes.

Thousands of young people (well some…not so young) from around the world train sometimes their whole lives just to participate in these games. These hard working incredibly fit people don’t pick their venue. They just show up where they are told to go. How sad for them that after all their hard work you won’t turn the TV on because you don’t approve of the host countries policies.
Their moment of glory and you are watching Big Brother, or Dancing with the Stars.

Take for example Soraya Haddad of Algeria. Have you ever heard of her? Do you know she Bronzed in Judo yesterday? She picked up the sport when she was just 11, because her brothers did it. She says that her parents have been the most influential people in her career.

What about Dina Gorina from Baku, Azerbaijan? She is competing in Rhythmic Gymnastics. She may not even make it to the top 20 with the highly competitive American, Chinese and Romania teams. But this is her shining moment. She will tell her children this magical story of traveling to China to participate in the most amazing competition with athletes from all over the world. And her children will be proud. As are her parents. As is her country.

But you… no…you are watching repeats of CSI.
That’ll show those Chinese.

Twitter me this...

Sassy was inquiring about Twitter the other day ...got me to thinking.

I have not used Twitter, tho conceptually I get it - and I am certain I don't want it.

Just what we need is something else to make our communications even shorter and MORE meaningless. The last thing I want to do is read the random thoughts of someone I don't know.

My life is not a snippet.

If you want to share something with me, my off-the-grid wife and I would love to invite you over to sit on the porch and languish linger over a cool drink while you regale us with your story. We'll have a conversation. We'll see eachother. We may even touch.

Friday

not quite a tip-o-day

Ever since we have started to cut the grass with our trusty reel mower, I can't tell you how many people have said they couldn't do it simply because it would be too much effort.
(if you are one of those who mentioned this... take solace, you're not alone)
Yet, we'll pay hundreds of dollars to a gym to run for an hour and get nowhere, or sit on a bicycle and watch television then go lift heavy things up and down and up and down only to put them back where we found them.

And people say I have gone mad.

Are you out of shape, need some firming up?
Think about it.

working for a living

Don’t just have your eyes open. Be alert -- process what you’re seeing.

Earlier this week I passed a woman on a bike on my morning commute, though it's not unusual to see a woman on a bike.
It was a street bike not a … I think they call them cruising bikes or comfort bikes now. She was not wearing sports apparel. She had an attractive messenger type bag over her shoulder. She wobbled a bit as she pedaled her way out of the town center, toward the office complex were I work. Clearly this was a new experience for her.

This morning I saw a man in a white shirt and tie on a scooter. He rode with traffic on my street down to the light, but then rode in the shoulder on the main road to down toward the highway. I hope in his heart he felt proud and not belittled.

These are not rich people who tend to jump in making these short term grandiose changes because its chic.
These are not poor people who I have heard are now abandoning their cars when they run out of gas.
These are folks like me. We are working for a living, and the money we make goes to our living expenses.

Things are changing, people.

Look for it, you will see it.

Participate.

You don’t need to get a scooter or ride your bike to work. But – you would be wise to think twice about your discretionary spending. Do you really need a new blouse, new shoes? Examine the word ‘need’ with new fervor now.
Even if you can (or think you can) afford these new things – is it wise to buy now?
That’s how you should be thinking.

Yes, we need to save the planet.. so why not save some money while you are at it?

misbegotten

I work in a pleasant enough environment.

I have a little heater under my desk, because my blood seems to slow down to a crawl when I sit in front of the computer for more than 15 minutes at a time.

I was able to turn off all the bright, fluorescent lights over my space, because I feel they rot my brain.

I have several toys (and other fun things) in my warm, dark cubicle.
We have soothing fish to view and feed and tend to.

All the free coffee you can drink, subsidized food and soda, bagels on Fridays... and right now they are having a cookie break, complete with milk, in the lunch room.

Seems nice...huh?

Then why is it our Administrative Coordinator has no choice but to keep sacred office supplies - such as spiral notebooks, in a locked cabinet.

These things confound me.

there is a time

Autumn is a busy time. The leaves are turning and falling. The birds are gathering in great numbers to make their trek south. And weese begins to ponder and pontificate about the universe and the changing of the seasons and the great joy that the peace of the winter months can bring...

The days are getting shorter and darker. This frightens and upsets many people. The darkness feels as if it’s encroaching on their energy, stifling their joy.

I think, rather, we should look forward to this time of year. It’s a time for healing, of inner rebuilding, of rest. Winter is a necessary time -- juxtaposed to the banter and frivolity of the warm summer months with those long, endless days, and hot, festive evenings -- sometimes enhanced by pink fruity cocktails.

As the days shorten, let the darkening afternoons snuggle you into the sanctuary of your home. Think of the darkness as a warm blanket.
Let it be an excuse to sit and reflect and rest.
And while you are sitting and reflecting and resting - don't become sad or maudlin.
Remember to rejoice in the place you call home. If you cannot - then fix that first.
Your home must be the place you feel best. Fall is a good time to put that in order.
Set your house right, and let the winter happen.
Remember that spring feels so good because of winter.

But hey… before you go sitting down and putting your feet up – remember there’s a whole lot of fall maintenance to do... more on that later.

Singing in the...

There was a tall, somewhat athletic woman who walked ahead of me into the ladies room this morning. She apparently works across the hall at another company, and I have seen her just once before so perhaps she is new. She is young, maybe late 20's, and attractive in a natural, hip sorta way. From the way she dresses and carries herself I wondered briefly if she played on my team. Could go either way I decided, and entered a stall.

That's when she started to hum... or even sort of sing softly as she entered the far stall. I thought this curious - and thought how people don't really sing much, and certainly I have never heard singing in the ladies room.
Should I consider this odd? Would this make me uncomfortable? Was this woman very happy? Was she melancholy? Clearly she was confident.
My mind was wandering down this path when I paused it to listen. The sound was genuinely beautiful. Sweet and sultry and only added to by that wondrous tiled-room echoey reverb. It was enchanting. I was surprised at myself for so thoroughly enjoying it.
And then it was over, interrupted by the rush of flowing waters and the soft thud of the door.

I have just refilled my water bottle, and anticipate several trips to the ladies room today.

Let's Go Mets

Just in case you were worried I wanted to let you know that there are still good people out there. Not hero’s or saints or do-gooders... just regular ole good folk.
Never let an incident pass where you don’t take notice of it.

Ferris went to a Mets game last week. It was a beautiful day for a ball game, but he ended up leaving the game a little early because he was worried he had left his car unlocked. Perhaps it was in his flustered departure that he lost his cell phone. He discovered the loss just before reaching his car on the shuttle to the parking lot.

He and his buddy repeatedly called his phone on their drive home. Hoping.
They were very surprised when a call came in from Ferris' phone!
The man on the phone said in a heavy accent,
“Hey, who’re you?”
Ferris explained that it was his phone, and that he had just lost it at the Mets game.
The man quickly gave Ferris his Brooklyn address.

Ferris called home and explained the story, and asking for advice.
what to do what do to....
I was trying to think quickly through all the scenarios.
I wasn't all that comfortable giving out our home address, and I didn't want to have this man have to pay for mailing it… while I was working my way through variations on the mailing scenario, my helpful and often too trusting wife shouts out -
"We'll go get it!"
I pause, my eyebrow raises curiously.
"Yah!, I am off tomorrow so Ferris and I can take a ride to Brooklyn to pick it up!"

Somewhat hesitantly I tell Ferris to call the guy back and tell him we'll come pick it up in the morning.
I hang up.
I have the immediate thought that this is a trap and my wife and son are going to be robbed and beaten on the bad streets of Brooklyn. So I start with my niggling nagging advice... don't get out of the car if it looks shady, leave your purse at home...and on and on I go. Sometimes… you really have to give the woman credit for just staying in the room with me.

Ferris speaks with the man from Brooklyn again – the man explains he will be working the next day, and will leave the phone with his father who lives in the same Brooklyn neighborhood just down the street.
In the mean time, my clever wife calls The Brother in Law With Brooklyn Friends to get the low down on the neighborhood.
His response was - it’s a safe neighborhood, tho not a nice neighborhood. We're not talking Park Slope here....

The two adventurers finally get to Brooklyn late the next morning after a couple of grueling hours on the heavily trafficked and under construction BQE.
Ferris, riding shotgun, shouts out to stop when he spies the street number they had been given. Unexpectedly, it’s an apartment building. They were only given a street number, not an apartment number.
Undaunted he approaches two women chatting on the stoop. He explains the story and while they are unsure exactly, they suggest he start on the fourth floor.
He got lucky. He again explained his story to an elderly woman behind the first door he knocked on. She seemed confused, having no idea about any phone – when a mans voice came barreling down the hall.
“The phone!? Yeah, I have the phone!.”

To thank him for his generosity, Ferris gave the man a brand new Mets hat he had gotten last year but never worn.
As Ferris was getting back in to the car with my waiting wife the old man comes out to wave them off.
“Look what I got” he calls out to the ladies on the stoop, smiling and proudly donning his new cap.

A good man in Brooklyn, raised his son to be a good man.
Not a hero. Simply a regular good guy.
It was just a cell phone.
But don't let even a small kindness go unnoticed.

Because I really wonder about stuff like this...

We live on a busy, well traveled country road. The cars drive much too fast. I have a theory about people who drive too fast - but not only would that offend way too many of my friends, it's really fodder for another post.

On our busy road we have a double yellow line, and there are no stop signs, traffic lights or speed bumps to slow people anywhere near our house.

So it just makes me wonder how something like this...
could land in our driveway.


So I try to imagine the scenarios...

1) A kid is driving along, almost home and realizes Oh! wait... look what I'm still wearing...
~toss.

2) A couple, hopefully in the backseat, reaches climax say... 1/2 mile or so down the street. She lights up a smoke, he...
~toss.

3) A guy is driving home after a particularly busy night and is cleaning out the car on the way...
french fry box
~toss.
beer can
~toss.
you get the idea....

hmmm, what do you think?

Summatime

I saw a commercial last night which said that our children are losing valuable information taught to them during the school year over the summer. That they were starting school in the fall at a deficit. This commercial advised that we send our kids to summer classes so as not to let all that pertinent school stuff just leak out of their feeble little heads.

I had summers off as a child and remarkably I can still do basic addition, subtraction and multiplication. I remember what year WWII started, I can conjugate Spanish verbs and for reasons I can’t really fathom I have an uncanny recollection of the battle at Bunker Hill.

But what I learned over the summer was so much more than anything my parents tax dollars could buy me in the classroom.

I learned how to get along with others – sometimes compromising, sometimes holding my ground. I learned the laws of gravity and the repercussions of this awesome power. I learned how to do things for myself, how to be alone, how to make fun from nothing, how to fight, how to make up, how to be a good friend and a bad one.
These are things that blossom in the unstructured environment of the neighborhood streets and lawns and woods.
Having kids sit in classrooms during these invaluable summer months robs them of their greatest and most memorable learning experiences... and some of their most colossal mistakes.

Parents get a grip.
Let the world be their classroom, even if that world is only a block wide, and two months long.

Tuning in

I read over at Sassy's their list of TV shows that they like to record.

This, of course, got me to thinking... lovingly of our Hi-Def DVR.

We are not rich folk. We don't have fancy cars, or a big house - hell we don't even have a dishwasher. But I love our Hi-Def DVR.

What makes me love our large TV and Hi-Def DVR even
more is Planet Earth.

You should really tune in.
And... if you have the means, see it in Hi-Def.