Thursday, September 13, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

As my patient wife will continually and patiently tell me... don't worry so much.

So all week I'm running around chasing bees laden with tuna... and in the end it all worked out just fine.
So that's my tip.
Don't worry so much.

The-Sister-In-Law's shower last weekend was loads of fun. We never found the nest. The tree was still filled with bees. There were no casualties.

I, of course, immediately identified the guests with bee allergies - and my mom, the nurse, offered to stick 'em with Epi-Pens if need be. Hmm, there's an apple and tree story for ya.

But the real kicker is... today when I pulled into the driveway and looked curiously up at the tree for my buzzy little pals. They were gone.
Huh.


Lets recap:
I worried all week about bees.
The party was fine.
The bees disappeared.
My patient wife smirks.


We cleverly had the food served inside.


Many brave people scoffed at the bees and stayed outside.


We made the 'bride' wear a tiara... with flashing lights.


Bridesmaids in Barbie hats.



Others stayed inside where it was safe (and air conditioned).

And then some of us... simply waited until after the bees bedtime.

Beeeeees

We didn’t have a fish.
So we improvised.
We used tuna… Bumblebee of course.

So this should be pretty simple. Put out the ‘fish’, watch the bees go for the fish, follow the bees to their home – then we could plan our attack.

Here is the first chunk of tuna we put out.

I cleverly used the lid as a sorta of serving dish.

We watched… and waited….

My observant wife noticed that the bees were simply drinking the tuna-flavored water.
To correct their behavior we removed the lid – this time using a leaf as the serving dish.I couldn’t just toss it on the ground – that’s simply barbaric.



And we watched… and waited again. No activity.

So we moved the tuna leaf to another location.

And we watched… and waited…

My wife wandered off to water things in the yard, I popped open a cold one and sat in a chair.
And watched… and waited…

And then… they came.

A couple at a time, the bees would work quickly to break away a small piece. Sure enough, holding their precious little piece of tuna tightly, they would lift off. Wobbly and overburdened they head out toward the back yard.
Whoo hoo!
Now all we had to do was follow the bee right back to their lair.

Ok, so …have you ever tried to track a bee laden with tuna?
We tried.
Several times.

Lets review:
We have millions of bees.
We still don’t know where they live.
The party is tomorrow.
We have just begun to feed these bees, who were already quite enamoured with our yard.
Hopefully this has improved their mood.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Beeeees

The next day I began to research.
I learned about bees.
I needed to think like a bee.
Be the bee.

I surfed the internet.

I talked to co-workers.

I called an exterminator...
He listed carefully.
He told me I did not have a nest in the tree.
Keep looking.

Hmm, but how to find the nest ... hmm.
Then I stumbled upon this!

"Bee Lining" for Fish Bait: Bee lining is a method by which a person may locate a yellow jacket nest by observing foragers as they return to their colony with food. A freshly caught small fish should be diced slightly on the exterior with a knife and hung in a tree about 5 to 6 feet off the ground. Foraging yellow jackets will be attracted to the raw fish and will chew off a tiny particle of the meat. By close observation, a person can follow the flight line of the yellow jacket back to her nest. The foraging yellow jacket will normally make a "bee line" straight to the nest which is often no more than 1,000 yards from the food source. Fishermen have been known to use this procedure to discover yellow jacket nests and use the grub as excellent fish bait.


I emailed my clever wife immediately.

So now, let's review:
We have hundreds and thousands of bees.
The party is getting closer.
We still don't know where they live.
But we have a plan.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Bees

Shortly after both my sweet wife and I were stung by insolent bees, I came home from work and noticed some yellow jackets in a tree next to the driveway.


I stopped to see what they might be doing.
Then I notice more. So I stood and stared at the tree for a moment…


and I noticed A LOT more.
Like hundreds and hundreds of bees. In this one tree. Angry little yellow jackets
Uh o.
Now – it’s one thing to have a tree with hundreds of bees in it next to your driveway. But by fantastic coincidence, the first time in 20 years that we have ever seen bees of these numbers in our yard is the year that we are hosting The Sister In Laws bridal shower at our house, in our backyard, with lots of yummy food and tasty guests.

We need a plan.

The plan should include getting rid of the bees.

A friend had recently told me about destroying yellow jacket nests in the ground.
So we wondered if perhaps there was a nest under this tree. Since there are hosta plants planted around the trunk the ground is hidden. Tho we did notice several bees crawling around on the hosta leaves.
Hmm.

So the next morning I get up before dawn. I go out and check the tree – no bees.
Good.
I see one sleepy little bee crawling on a hosta leaf.
AHA!
So I start hacking away at the hostas.
I am cutting and tossing leaves all over the place… and now I even think I hear subtle buzzing sounds, perhaps from the colossal nest I am about to find under the tree roots – I am careful to be nimble tho – just in case I discover the nest and make them all upset. I am planning what to do if I am swarmed… its good to have a plan. I am certain I am on the right track… then I notice a small hole… paydirt! I think… I am getting pretty excited …
I am practically congratulating myself on a job well done. Although I have not actually seen any bees coming from the hole… in fact, I haven’t seen any bees at all …

When my quiet wife comes up behind me and gently asks if I have noticed that the entire tree is filled with bees.

Huh?

Dammit.

Let’s review:
We have thousands of bees.
For some reason the bees like this tree.
Bees sting.
We have determined there is no nest in the ground under the tree.
I have completely hacked up our attractive plantings leaving a stubbly mess.
We are having a big party in three days.


Clearly we need to find the nest…

Friday, September 07, 2007

Friday

It's Friday.
And I have a story for you... it's about bees.

However - I feel I need to wait. To pause. To pay my respects. To pray.
For Gypsy the cat, and her dear mom Sue.

I have been laboring this morning over whether to blog it or not.
But I must. Because I am so ... sad and heartbroken.

We try very hard to keep our pets safe. We spend large portions of our income on vet bills, the finest pet food, toys and other accoutrement.
We try to keep them from harm by walking our dogs on leashes, building fences and keeping our cats indoors. We make sacrifices so that they will be safe and happy.
We coddle out pets.

Our friend Sue is just like that. Sue is a warm, wonderfully sensitive, creative woman and her best pal for these many, many years has been Gypsy.
This very special feline cuddled Sue through a difficult divorce. She rejoiced with Sue when they got their new house. She loved to visit, and loved to be tied out on her leash while all we silly lesbians sat around in the yard drinking cool drinks and watching her chase bugs. (Yes, she liked to be tied out with her harness on to get some fresh air... always safe... always within site).

Then they met with the bizarre and tragic.
This week a chimney company came to cap off the chimney. Unknown to the workers a raccoon was already in there, now sealed in by the cap. While Sue was out that evening, the raccoon gained access to the house... and to Gypsy. Gypsy did everything she could - and the battle was fierce. Sue came home (thank goodness accompanied by loved friends) to a war zone in her safe and beautiful home.
Vets worked on Gypsy for two days - her injuries were massive. But after her courageous battle - she succumbed to signs of rabies. Yes. Rabies. The raccoon was rabid.
I weep, as I type, for fluffy little Gypsy and our friend Sue.

All the humans involved are now being treated for this dreaded and, here in CT, prevalent disease.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Why are the bees mad?

Or are they angry


I was a cautious, careful child. And while I had plenty of fun I found it unnecessary to get overly dirty or raucous. I rarely got hurt, I’ve never broken a bone and I have never been stung by a bee. Really… never.

Until this weekend.

A completely unprovoked attack. I was driving along on the tractor, out in an open field, as I have done for near 20 years now. I saw no bees. I was near nothing.
Hmm.
The next day my gentle wife was stung in the hand while reaching for the wheel barrow.

Have you been stung this year? More and more I am hearing stories of stings and nests and generally large bee populations. Perhaps to the individual it may not seem that remarkable… but when you start to put all the stories together – something fishy is going on.
(key word here is fishy… stay tuned for more and you’ll see what I mean)

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

It's Friday...right?


Anyway...
Fall is fast approaching - you can save some money (and natural resources) as your vegetable garden no longer needs water every day. The plants have matured by now and so require less water. Tomatoes for example are busy ripening fruit, rather than focusing on stem and leaf growth. My well-read wife has heard that if your fruit is slow to ripen, try lopping off the top of the plant to remind it to stop focusing on growth (she cautions me that she has not had to try that here... so your result may vary)

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Something is amiss

I have been forgetful.
I am making mistakes because I'm not paying attention.
I've been dropping and spilling way more than usual.

I have been forgetful.
and sometimes i am rushing thru things so i make mistkes.
I just spilled my Diet Cream Soda on the floor.

There are times when I just don't remember stuff.
I really need to slow down and think more clearly.
I tho ardf...ah...eee...........

oops.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Adjusting

Signs that Ferris is adjusting to the new BIG school:

He has sampled at least 3 of the major dining halls.
"The food is good here"

He is getting along well with the new roomies.

He has crafted a velcro wall hanger for his Guitar Hero for easy access.

He made it to the biggest start-of-the-year party, as well as stop ins at various frat house parties.

His current Away message:
I'm currently in class, please do not IM me for i'm afraid it may damage the learning process of my fragel, eggshell mind.


This is all comforting.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Not my dog

On my way into work this morning I saw a dog poking around near the town green.
It was odd.
It shouldn’t have been odd because it was just a dog sniffing around – but as I thought more about it I realized that dogs don’t do that anymore.

Dogs are on leashes, behind intangible fences, in houses or cars… but not sniffing around… on their own… carefree and enjoying a fine summer morning.
When I was a kid you would see dogs. You would see dogs and kids, wandering all over the place. You thought nothing of it.

If your trash got knocked over by the neighbor’s dog you shook your fist, and put the lid on tighter next time, you didn’t call the police or a lawyer.
It was nothing to see a pack of 10 year olds come out of the woods looking like they had been in there for a week.
If you saw your neighbors kid climbing a utility pole you opened the window and yelled at them to get down before they killed themselves. Your neighbor was ok with that because they just chased your dog our of their garage.

They say the world is a different place now, that you can’t let your kids or dogs roam around without a leash and a GPS chip. But what made the world different?
Did the world really become such a bad place? Or did we just think it did?

I suppose I didn’t realize how much I miss seeing dogs wander around.

Monday, August 27, 2007

New Beginning

Ferris has been successfully installed at his new school... or so we hear.
Because he is a man now - he no longer needs his doting parents to help him move in and get settled. So we helped him stuff pack up his car and waved as he pulled out of our driveway.

I am perfectly fine with this. It shows a sense of adventure and independence. In fact, I applaud it.
ok ok... I'll 'fess. The Sister-In-Law and soon to be Brother-In-Law (impending nuptials) were with him. They both work at the BIG school.

We were both very comforted by the fact that he was in very good hands.

Of course move in day with Ferris would NEVER be without some excitement. I can tell you that there were police involved and Ferris did get to meet the hall director and other campus officials - who coincidentally play on the same campus softball team with the Sister-In-Law... its so nice to be connected.

Tragedy averted, no one was injured, and the attempted theft of his laptop was foiled.

We've heard his room is nice and the food is ok...
And so now we'll adjust to our, once again, empty house.

(woo hoo ;)

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Shopping!?!

Somebody shoot me.
Ferris has decided he wants new clothes before going off to his 'new' university (he has transferred to a BIG school for his sophmore year, I may at some point disclose the location of said university... or perhaps just keep watching the news and you'll figure it out yourselves.)

And... he's asked me to go along. Egad.

I will let you know how we survive make out.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Back to School

This is that week where they lift the sales tax so folks can get all their back to school shopping done.

Personally... I would rather pay the tax than deal with the crowds this is going to generate.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

Take a few moments every couple months to scrub out your outdoor trash cans (I do our recycling bin at the same time too). It really only takes a couple minutes. And if you store your cans in the garage as we do... its so much more pleasant if they are clean and odor free.

I use an old broom to the scrubbing. That way I don't have to reach in and get wet or dirty. In the past I have always used ammonia, but we were fresh out last night.
So I turned to my tidy wife's favorite - Simple Green.

It took all of five minutes to spray them down with the Simple Green, scrub the broom around inside and rinse with the garden hose.

I must say, the Simple Green did a marvelous job, and left the cans smelling extra fresh and clean.

Remember to tie up your bags securely and not to toss in loose garbage and your cans will stay clean longer.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

What would you do?

What would you do on a Thursday night if you found you had the house to yourself?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

That's my gal

So I was having a somewhat trying morning at the office when my intuitive wife sends me this email.


So my tea bag fortune is “Your destiny is to merge with infinity.”
Why not just say, “One night you’re gonna fall asleep and never wake up”?

Phuckin’ genius.



Somehow she just knows when I need to lighten up.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Let's Go Mets

Just in case you were worried I wanted to let you know that there are still good people out there. Not hero’s or saints or do-gooders... just regular ole good folk.
Never let an incident pass where you don’t take notice of it.

Ferris went to a Mets game last week. It was a beautiful day for a ball game, but he ended up leaving the game a little early because he was worried he had left his car unlocked. Perhaps it was in his flustered departure that he lost his cell phone. He discovered the loss just before reaching his car on the shuttle to the parking lot.

He and his buddy repeatedly called his phone on their drive home. Hoping.
They were very surprised when a call came in from Ferris' phone!
The man on the phone said in a heavy accent,
“Hey, who’re you?”
Ferris explained that it was his phone, and that he had just lost it at the Mets game.
The man quickly gave Ferris his Brooklyn address.

Ferris called home and explained the story, and asking for advice.
what to do what do to....
I was trying to think quickly through all the scenarios.
I wasn't all that comfortable giving out our home address, and I didn't want to have this man have to pay for mailing it… while I was working my way through variations on the mailing scenario, my helpful and often too trusting wife shouts out -
"We'll go get it!"
I pause, my eyebrow raises curiously.
"Yah!, I am off tomorrow so Ferris and I can take a ride to Brooklyn to pick it up!"

Somewhat hesitantly I tell Ferris to call the guy back and tell him we'll come pick it up in the morning.
I hang up.
I have the immediate thought that this is a trap and my wife and son are going to be robbed and beaten on the bad streets of Brooklyn. So I start with my niggling nagging advice... don't get out of the car if it looks shady, leave your purse at home...and on and on I go. Sometimes… you really have to give the woman credit for just staying in the room with me.

Ferris speaks with the man from Brooklyn again – the man explains he will be working the next day, and will leave the phone with his father who lives in the same Brooklyn neighborhood just down the street.
In the mean time, my clever wife calls The Brother in Law With Brooklyn Friends to get the low down on the neighborhood.
His response was - it’s a safe neighborhood, tho not a nice neighborhood. We're not talking Park Slope here....

The two adventurers finally get to Brooklyn late the next morning after a couple of grueling hours on the heavily trafficked and under construction BQE.
Ferris, riding shotgun, shouts out to stop when he spies the street number they had been given. Unexpectedly, it’s an apartment building. They were only given a street number, not an apartment number.
Undaunted he approaches two women chatting on the stoop. He explains the story and while they are unsure exactly, they suggest he start on the fourth floor.
He got lucky. He again explained his story to an elderly woman behind the first door he knocked on. She seemed confused, having no idea about any phone – when a mans voice came barreling down the hall.
“The phone!? Yeah, I have the phone!.”

To thank him for his generosity, Ferris gave the man a brand new Mets hat he had gotten last year but never worn.
As Ferris was getting back in to the car with my waiting wife the old man comes out to wave them off.
“Look what I got” he calls out to the ladies on the stoop, smiling and proudly donning his new cap.

A good man in Brooklyn, raised his son to be a good man.
Not a hero. Simply a regular good guy.
It was just a cell phone.
But don't let even a small kindness go unnoticed.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

It's pouring here today, which reminds me to tell you...
pick up a couple of cheap, washable throw rugs at Walmart or Target.
Then on rainy days (or especially snowy days) you can toss these out as extra protection by your main entrance.
Once the sun comes out - give them a good shake or a wash if necessary, roll them up and stick them back in the closet or basement until next time.

I like the rubber backed rugs for saftey and durability - just don't toss them in the dryer, either stick them out on the line or over a drying rack.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

cha ching

I have no time for blogging.
I am buried in Quicken.
You know Quicken, that silly software program to help you figure out and subsequently track why you have no money in your wallet.

Well I am sucked in. I have just downloaded all my transactions since January '07, and I am categorizing them now.
I was hoping to be able to determine how much money we are spending on things like utilities, clothes and of course Ferris.
Instead, I find it's absolutely REMARKABLE how much money we have spent at the liquor store.

I do really like the whole categorizing thing... this should surprise no one.
I also really like that little cha-ching sound wave every time I enter a transaction. I wish my wallet made that sound every time I took out my debit card.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Because I really wonder about stuff like this...

We live on a busy, well traveled country road. The cars drive much too fast. I have a theory about people who drive too fast - but not only would that offend way too many of my friends, it's really fodder for another post.

On our busy road we have a double yellow line, and there are no stop signs, traffic lights or speed bumps to slow people anywhere near our house.

So it just makes me wonder how something like this...
could land in our driveway.


So I try to imagine the scenarios...

1) A kid is driving along, almost home and realizes Oh! wait... look what I'm still wearing...
~toss.

2) A couple, hopefully in the backseat, reaches climax say... 1/2 mile or so down the street. She lights up a smoke, he...
~toss.

3) A guy is driving home after a particularly busy night and is cleaning out the car on the way...
french fry box
~toss.
beer can
~toss.
you get the idea....

hmmm, what do you think?

Monday, August 06, 2007

Do you like seafood?

Well if you like seafood and happen to be in or near Connecticut - might I HIGHLY recommend this place.
Run by this woman...

(hey Suze...you might wanna get that website update...eh? :) )

Friday, August 03, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

It's steamy here in the NorthEast this week.
To help keep you house cool remember to close the blinds, shades or curtains on windows where the sun will stream in. You will be surprised how much of a difference it can make. Even if you use central air this will help your unit run more efficiently.

Oh, and... if you have pets -please, please don't leave them in your car, or tied out in the yard.

oops... I forgot to mention. If you are closing the shades in the front of your house - always remember your curb appeal and be sure they are all at the same level. Makes for a tidy presentation.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

My name is weese and I....

...drink tap water.

Yes, I do.
In great quantities.
Right out of the faucet (well... I generally use a glass)
I have been drinking tap water all my life. Remember back in the day... they used to recommend it for kids because the water was fluoridated.
Mmmm, fluoride.

These days everyone, everywhere has a bottle of water with them.

While I do agree that bottled water is great if you are on the go - I just don't see the point of drinking it when I am sitting on the patio.

My ecologically sensitive wife sent me this link today from the Times and I couldn't agree more.
In Praise of Tap Water

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

The Police

I like being able to say 'police' in a post that's not about Ferris.

The concert was amazing. As was the tailgating.
It was the consumate, classic concert scene. Just like the 80's - same people too - we're just a little older now.

My lyrical wife and I are recouping on the patio this morning - laptop at hand and a cool drink by our side.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Bon Voyage

One entry found.

bon voyage

Main Entry: bon voy·age
Pronunciation: \bōⁿ-voi-äzh, bän-; bōⁿ-vwī-äzh, -vwä-yäzh\
Function: noun
Etymology: French, literally, good journey!
Date: 15th century
: farewell —often used interjectionally

For more than 6 years she has sat across the hall from me, in these dark, warm cubicles, our little space heaters cranking away against the big bad A/C.
We roll back our chairs and chat about home, pets, family - give each other advice and criticisms and compliments.
I often call out work questions over the walls - because she is smarter than me, and certainly has a better memory.
She can drink me under the table. But I can beat her at chess. (yes, we have been known to carry on week long chess games at the office.) I am not sure which is a better asset.

She is bright and funny and beautiful. She is my friend.
And she is leaving me. Damn her.

But not for another job, another cubicle, another keyboard...
She is doing what so many of us just dream of: pack up, take off and explore... no particular destination, no schedule except the weather, and a completly open end date.

With her belongings stuffed (neatly organized) into her little (sensible) civic she will throw caution to the wind (and program her GPS) and set out to see the world (well mostly the US). The trip will take her coast to coast, sometimes camping, sometimes staying with friends, maybe the occasional hostel.
Who knows what she will find out there. But I am certain it will be big and wonderful and will change her life.

I wish you well my dear friend.
I will miss you.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

This morning I picked up my head and glanced across the room and you took my breath away … or was that 22 years ago.

Happy Anniversary my love.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Outdated

While sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office last week I picked up O magazine.
Oprah had an article in this issue written by some 'light in the loafers' (not that there's anything wrong with that) kinda guy who listed several wardrobe no-no's.

He may as well have been standing in my closet.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Finally

We finally got around to celebrating The Daughter The Therapists passing of her state boards that she passed in… oh… January I think. My giddy wife wanted to throw her a party - but not a dreary winter party. So we put it off until this past weekend of perfect July weather.

So again, congratulations to The Daughter The Therapist.
We had a lovely time meeting, feeding and entertaining her friends and colleagues.
And it was only the next morning when I woke up that I realized just how much meeting, feeding and entertaining I had done.



Friday, July 20, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

I had to run an errand on my lunch hour today. On my way in the car I was pondering my tip-o-day entry . I had a couple ideas rolling around in my head… hmm, maybe some advice on working with pressure treated wood – since I was on my way to Lowes to get some, perhaps another bleachy tip, and then a thought popped into my head. It’s something that my fun-to-hang-out-with wife and I often say to each other.

If you’re out shopping and you see something that you have been looking for, just get it. Don’t make note of it, don’t say it’s not what you came out to get, don’t think about how much it will add to your bill – just get it when you see it.
Because often times you don't see it again.

I rolled that tip around in my head for a while and sorta stumbled on how to phrase it and present it. Then I walked into Lowes and promptly forgot about it.

Until… I saw just such an item.
It’s something I have been looking for. I had seen it once I think… at Lowes or even Home Depot – but not since.
And there it was.
And so I bought it.
And now I’m happy.
And so that’s my tip.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Words

A picture is worth a thousand words.
Yet when I am in the elevator I only long for two.

Would they PLEASE just write words OPEN and CLOSE next to those ridiculous ‘universal’ symbols they use.

It cant’ just be me.

It happens all the time.
I get in the elevator and notice someone approaching just as the doors begin to close. I want to help. I reach out, finger poised, ready to save the day... and there I stall.

Staring at those stupid little graphics.
Completely helpless.
Not a clue.
The door closes.

Monday, July 16, 2007

The Grooms

My ethereal wife is a Justice of the Peace.
This weekend she 'unionized' two good friends on the day they celebrated their 20th anniversary.

Congratulations to Chris and Danny.


They are a wonderful couple... (and their home is like a movie set.)






Friday, July 13, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

Summer is in full swing, but you may have noticed your lawn isn't.

If you lawn looks brown don't despair. Grass naturally goes into a semi-dormant state in the heat of the summer. Growth slows down and much top growth turns brown.
Notice the brown top growth is still moist however, so its not dead.
So unless your lawn is crunchy and dusty - don't worry, it will come back when the weather cools closer to fall.

I am sure you have noticed some lawns which still look green and thick. This is most likely due to regular watering, and I would bet the watering is from an in-ground system.
Home watering with a sprinkler can be helpful, and will help your lawn survive a drought. But its unlikely to keep it green and lush like an in-ground, timed system.
Personally, I don't water the lawn*. I let my grass do its natural thing in the summer, plus I don't like to waste a precious commodity on my vanity. (hmm, conservation vs. vanity hmm)


* except for newly seeded areas which may fail without adequate water

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Tidy

I just got back from having my eyebrows ‘done’.
I go to this little place in town called Oscar. They probably meant to say Oscar’s but the folks there don’t really speak English so I can’t really fault them for their lack of the possessive apostrophe.
My woman today was a new one. She was just a petite flower of a woman… quiet and calm yet confident in her mastery of eyebrow waxing.

I am actually new to the eyebrow waxing routine. As a teen I painstakingly used tweezers. As I got older I basically did nothing except the bare minimum…which was basically to keep them from growing together. But my new eyebrow place was recommended to me by someone well-trusted and equally fastidious (you may draw apple/tree conclusions as you wish).

I believe it was the first time that Ferris shaved his head

when he started to feel his eyebrows were …well as he put it ‘old man brows’.


And so he checked with various girls at school for the best place to correct this.
He found Oscar.
He has been going regularly ever since.
He likes to get it done when he gets a hair cut, which he does at a different place. He is that particular.
They just love him over there. I am sure he must have been the only high school jock to frequent their shop.

As for me, I am pleased with my results. I look tidy.

Monday, July 09, 2007

She's at it again

It's that time of year where my charitable wife puts stuff out at the curb.

She really loves to do this. She can easily get a little carried away too. I keep a close eye on her once she gets going.

She made a cute little 'FREE' sign.



















and as stuff was getting taken, she just kept adding more!






I have no idea where all these came from.

Friday, July 06, 2007

tip-o-day

The FREE dog is on antibiotics. Evidently she has some parasite or bacteria or some such thing caused by a deer tick.
We have long used the clever method of wrapping her pills in something tasty. I prefer cheese, but the Doxycycline she is on calls for no dairy. So we have been using soft cookies, bread or pasta. Every so often tho, the FREE dog will get a taste of the pill concealed inside and spit out the whole mouthful.
To keep this from happening I hold another treat in my hand, so she can clearly see it as she eats the first piece. This causes her to gulp it down quickly so that she is ready for more.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

The Italian-Stallion

Ferris and his grandfather have been doing some landscaping work together this past week. After Pop-Pop retired a few years back he modified his pick-up to be a dump truck and has since been delivering small loads of mulch and soil.
And now that he’s got a big, strapping grandson – he is taking on some small scale landscaping work.

I dropped Ferris off at Pop-Pop’s house this morning … it’s on my way to work and …well… Ferris is currently without a car.

I sat in front of the house for a moment this morning …and the only thing I could think of was – please, please just shoot me if I suddenly become enamoured with stick on letters.
You know the ones – they are vinyl and come in ALL CAPS, and all shiny and sparkly.
They are generally used for say… mailboxes and house numbers. But, OH, the possibilities!

Pop-pop has used them all over the back of his big red truck.

In addition to his name and number, it says things like:
‘THE MULCH MAN’
and
GITTR DONE’

I can’t decide whether the fact that they are not aligned or spaced properly adds to …or detracts from the look.

This morning I also noticed he is started to write little sayings on the house.
He’s got this Sox banner hanging on the screened porch and next to it has printed in 3” golden block letters ‘LINE DRIVE’.
I have no idea of why… I am sure there’s a story.

This is the curse of the retired Italian man. First they start to ‘letter’ things – then comes plastic lawn animals, this inevitably leads to homemade wine and leather sandals with black socks.

So while our son may enjoy a full head of hair well into old age – vinyl letters are his destiny.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Green-ness

Earthfriendly
Organic
Eco... blah blah.

You're not helping the environment buying eco-crap if you have not cut down your consumption.
Use less, people.

I am not saying to live a year without new clothes or not to use toilet paper or to build a tree house.

Just be smart. Everyday. When you buy three things at the store - don't use a bag, just carry the stuff to your car.
Reuse bits of paper for lists or notes left on the counter for the kids.
Turn some stuff off in your house.
Waste less food, start by buying less.

Buy a Subaru over one of the new hybrids.
Better yet, buy a used Subaru.

Recycle, Reuse, Repurpose
little things add up.


Here is a fun article on the subject. The author balances the ridiculousness of buying green ...


“Green consumerism is an oxymoronic phrase,[...]. The fruit at Whole Foods in winter, flown in from Chile on a 747 — it’s a complete joke. The idea that we should have raspberries in January, it doesn’t matter if they’re organic. It’s diabolically stupid.”


while considering that having folks just begin to think about being 'green' is a good first step.

“We didn’t find that people felt that their consumption gave them a pass, so to speak,”... But they do it as a practice of mindfulness. They didn’t see it as antithetical to political action. Folks who were engaged in these green practices were actually becoming more committed to more transformative political action on global warming.”


but...
"...sustainably-harvested caviar..."

pulleeezzeee.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

and so it goes...

I have a little bit of poison ivy on my hand. I don't know where or when I got it.

The house is in desparate need of a good scrubbing. We have tomorrow off, and scrubbing is first on the list.

I continue to patch my convertible top with gobs and smears of clear silicone. It's working swimmingly.

The weed-n-feed application mysteriously burned parts of the lawn. I am sad.

Our social schedule is packed until mid August. This is fun.

We have taken several days off from work in July. This is very fun.

My alert wife tells me the slugs are back this year. I will put beer out for them.

I may add to this list later, if the mood strikes.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Pride '07

We had such a great time at NYC Pride last year that we decided to add to the fun and go in a day early for the women's dance on Pier 54.

Fantastic. The music was great, the women were hot, and we danced until we couldn't stand anymore.

What I treasure about being able to celebrate Pride in NYC is the powerful ties to the origin of a movement. While this was only our second time ... we again got to talk to someone who was there at the beginning... Stonewall '69.

Sunday morning we walked into a bar (yes.. morning ... bar... hey - it was Pride) and while we were sipping our breakfast mimosa's - our bartender, a retired NYC cop who served The Village precinct, regaled us of stories of Stonewall and how it all began.

So while you are celebrating Pride events around the country and wearing rainbows and watching parades and dancing and enjoying the 'scenery' - remember where it started.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

With the heat and humidity of the summer - be sure to leave the lid to your washer open in between loads. This goes for both front and top loaders. This will keep the machine from smelling musty.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

It's a Girl!

Shortly after TheDaughterTheTherapist and her HandsomeBeau get their own place - look what they get!



After some internet research and some poking around, she thougth she had a boy. It's actually quite difficult to tell you know.

But the vet confirmed - a little girl.
Weighing in at all of 1 lb. 12 oz.


They call her Sophie.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day
Will you be throwing any big parties this summer? Perhaps a graduation, or a family reunion, or perhaps taking part in a town-wide happening such as a lobsterfest or clam bake?
To make the event even more memorable, or to really call attention to your group – whip up some iron-on T-shirts.
They are so easy to do using the iron-on paper right in your own color printer, and you can make as few or as many as you need.
Come up with any wacky design you can think of and start ironing.

Remember, it’s important to use a hard, flat surface – don’t rely on your ironing board for the best quality. And try looking online for affordable (yet good quality) T-shirts if you have a lot to make.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Home alone

Recently, I was so happy to find out that dog hair we had found on the sofa was not from the big, smelly FREE dog sleeping there... she simply needed to hide her perfect, like new, never-been-chewed rawhide under the cushion.

Ah.. so foolishly relieved.

I came in from work yesterday evening to find the living room and dining room ransacked. Cushions and pillows all over the floor, blankets strewn about, a lamp tipped over, a picture fallen to the floor, tables askew, the rug bunched up...
It didn't take me too long to figure out that that the FREE dog had happily (or perhaps feverishly) spent the day finding a better hiding spot for her perfect, like new, never-been-chewed rawhide.

In case you need to know - after (I can only assume) trying every other place in the room, the rawhide was finally placed back under a different cushion on the sofa.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Summatime

I saw a commercial last night which said that our children are losing valuable information taught to them during the school year over the summer. That they were starting school in the fall at a deficit. This commercial advised that we send our kids to summer classes so as not to let all that pertinent school stuff just leak out of their feeble little heads.

I had summers off as a child and remarkably I can still do basic addition, subtraction and multiplication. I remember what year WWII started, I can conjugate Spanish verbs and for reasons I can’t really fathom I have an uncanny recollection of the battle at Bunker Hill.

But what I learned over the summer was so much more than anything my parents tax dollars could buy me in the classroom.

I learned how to get along with others – sometimes compromising, sometimes holding my ground. I learned the laws of gravity and the repercussions of this awesome power. I learned how to do things for myself, how to be alone, how to make fun from nothing, how to fight, how to make up, how to be a good friend and a bad one.
These are things that blossom in the unstructured environment of the neighborhood streets and lawns and woods.
Having kids sit in classrooms during these invaluable summer months robs them of their greatest and most memorable learning experiences... and some of their most colossal mistakes.

Parents get a grip.
Let the world be their classroom, even if that world is only a block wide, and two months long.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Those late night calls

First, Ferris is fine.

How many blog entries have I started like that?

19 year old boys are invincible, immortal and seemingly made of rubber.
When Ferris was 5 years old he was hit by a car in front of our house. He flew 25 feet across the front yard – right in front of me.
Ferris was fine.
His uncle dubbed him RubberMan from that day on.

With Ferris you can expect anything, so when the phone rings at 2:22 a.m. – it may not necessarily be anything to worry about.
Then again… sometimes it is.
Again. He is fine.
The car… not so much.

At first skillfully maneuvering to avoid a car speeding through a red light – he unfortunately met with disaster when he launched over a ridiculously high curb and down a ditch. Airbags deployed, front under carriage and tires completed destroyed.
He and a buddy walked away.

At first inconsolable, mad and sad… his sister helped to bring him out of his cocoon. They are like that. An 8 year age gap and a bond like cement.

We are grateful for these kids of ours.
And insurance…

Friday, June 08, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

Did you forget to put down your Weed-n-Feed application?

I forgot to tell you to put it down.
It's ok.
Do it now.

I actually haven't done it either.
Let's do it together.

Remember, apply in the morning when the dew is still on the grass, and no rain is expected for 24 hours.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

They grow up so fast

Completely out of character, Ferris decides to bring in the mail yesterday.
Further defying logic – he actually opens some mail addressed to him.
And what does the universe send him on this day.

A medical bill for two million eight hundred fourteen thousand four hundred ninety-three dollars.

He called my calming wife in quiet the distress and read to her over the phone...



Please pay this amount: $ 2,814,493




We have not received your payment for the above referenced account. Your obligation is clear and this account needs to be paid in full immediately. If payment in full is not received within 15 days, your account may be ref…blah blah blah….



Mom. I need to pay this within 15 days ???!!"

Ah… the joys of adulthood.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Horticultural Identification

Anyone know how to properly identify Papaver Somniferum?

I am just curious.

...no really

Monday, June 04, 2007

Look at this


They say this stuff has negative calories.


No really, if you read the back of the can it says this:

Three cans per day of eniviga have been shown to increase calorie burning by
60-100 calories....



So now that I can no longer go to the gym... I am thinking I drink 6 of these and I am good to go!

Friday, June 01, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

It’s a great time of year to bring it cut flowers. If you have a small, somewhat sunny, unused part of the yard you can start a cutting bed. Cutting beds should be placed so they are not a focal point. This way you can bring in as many blooms as you want without trying to save some to keep the garden looking colorful.
For cuttings with woody stems, use a small hammer to smash the stems. This allows the flower to draw more much needed water.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

The FREE dog...is a dog.

Just about a month ago we discovered some dog hair on the sofa in the living room.
Oh…the horror of it.

Not surprisingly, I was not happy. This is not acceptable FREE dog behavior.

Well last week, while removing the slipcovers for washing I found a brand new, never been chewed rawhide hidden neatly under the sofa cushions.

This brought me great joy.
The FREE dog was NOT sleeping on the sofa – she merely needed to hide her toy there.
After washing and replacing the cushion covers I put the rawhide right back where I had found it.
There have been no further discoveries of dog hair on the sofa.

Yay.
We were back to having the perfect FREE dog (well… that is if you don’t mind the whole ‘not friendly with strangers’ thing…).

Until last night.
A major canine indiscretion.

Food taken from the counter.

We are simply not used to such behavior. We have kept plates of food out on the counter for over 6 years without worry.
We have even left food on the coffee table in the living room… unattended. And while it was carefully watched by the FREE dog, it was never touched.

I am dismayed.

My dog-loving wife points out that the FREE dog clearly waited until Ferris, the alpha dog, was satiated and had left the house before devouring his tasty, cheese-slathered meat.

This sort of behavior makes sense within a pack.
Except that weese is in this pack.

My constantly-cooking wife is already coming up with alternate game plans to leave food in more secure locations for the alpha dog. She keeps the whole pack happy.
damn damn damn.

blogger ate my post and i am pissed.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Memorial Day

Memorial Day moves me. There is just something about honoring people who do brave things that I treasure.

If you have the opportunity to spend Memorial Day with senior citizens – please seize the moment. A country at war means a whole different thing to that generation. It’s something we should not lose touch with.
Again this year, we went to my mom’s senior complex to watch her town’s parade, and also to help her with some gardening which is becoming increasingly difficult for her to keep up with.

After the parade we finished up the gardening and gathered our stuff to leave. Since we were taking home some of the plants mom no longer wanted – we had quite a bit to carry, so my spry wife went to get the car. This year, because we were a little late getting there – we had to park a few blocks away as the senior housing is right on the parade route and the roads were already closed when we arrived.

I sat with my mom and had a cool drink while we waited for my Jeep-drivin’ wife to return.
And we waited… and waited….

Some time later she finally pulls into the driveway and we start loading up the Jeep with tools, lawn chairs and the plant materials. My adorable wife apologizes for the delay and tells us she had to give ‘a friend’ a lift.

You see…we parked just at the end of the parade route, and while she was getting the car an elderly man asked her for a lift back to the parade start point where his car was parked. He was clearly dressed as a veteran… and my patriotic wife’s Jeep was top down and decked out with small flags – what could be more appropriate.

This veteran was a bomber pilot from WWII station in England. He happily shared stories and showed off his badges and pins to my ever-grateful wife as they rode along. He told her this was the first year he chose to ride rather than march the entire route… this veteran is 90.
She was smitten of course.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

In the laundry red is the enemy. Ferris has some red t-shirts that bleed so much I won't put them in with anything but the darkest darks...and even then I wouldn't put in dark dress pants if they had light colored pockets - lest I want them pink.

To test color-fastness in the wash I use this nifty little method. The first time a new dark or brightly colored item goes into the wash, I toss in what I like to call an 'indicator'.
[sub-tip]
We use white bar towels around the kitchen...as mopeenes. After serving us well - when they get tattered or stained they get re purposed as dust rags.. and then eventually end up in the basement or garage for oil or paint clean-up sort of things. To tell the difference at a glance, my clever wife uses a sharpie to put dots on each corner. These then get sorted/folded/and stored in the laundry room rather than with the kitchen towels.

Anyhooo... I just toss one of these white dust rags into the load since I don't really care what color they are. If it comes out white, then I know I can safely wash the item without worry.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

It's a look

I thought the cane really suited me... so I started using it again today.



.

.

.

Um... no. Not really. My coddling wife made me bring it. Seems I've had a little setback in the whole "Look!, I'm healed!" process.
oops

But I am sure taking a ribbing here at the office. See, you need to imagine the whole picture.
Since the A/C has been on I have started wearing my cardigans again.
Add that to my wal-mart special magno glass that I wear on a chain around my neck.
Then toss in a cane.

Oh yeah, I've got 'the look' goin' on.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Am I really a lesbian?

While its true that I have a tool belt, a basement full of power tools, a ride on mower, even the short hair cut - there is one thing that keeps me from truly crossing that cliche line.

I don't own a Subaru.
My petite wife drives a Wrangler- which I think is a good substitute on the cliche scale. Plus she looks really hot in it sporting a tank shirt with the top down.

Last night on TV I saw a Subaru commercial. It seems they have built a new plant in Indiana which creates zero landfill waste.
Zero.
Wow.
And the site is a protected wildlife habitat.
Not to mention they have those gay commercials on Logo.
What's not to like?

Bravo to my pal Zoe who just picked one up!

Of course, I started shopping online immediately.
Hmm, they don't make a convertible...
Don't lesbians like convertibles?

Monday, May 21, 2007

Coincidence?

“Previously on weese”
… last week we found a mouse in our trap. I ‘felt bad’
for the little guy and let him go on the side of the garage.

Saturday, I found a mouse in the other trap.
Hmm….

This time I drove him over to the park. It’s a beautiful park, plenty of deeply wooded areas, playground equipment and two concession stands for ample snacking. I am certain he will make new friends there.

I checked the traps this morning.
Nothing.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

What do you want dear blog people - would you rather hear a tip about bleach additives in cleaning products or... how we captured an intruder this morning.

Ah yes… as I suspected.


I was a little slow to wake this morning. My early-rising wife came bubbling in to get me with the digital camera in her hand.
"Get up, you need to come with me."
Handing me the camera, "You'll want this."

Ok, my interest was piqued.

She led me to the basement.
The terribly disorganized, discombobulated basement.
The future home of my workshop…now sitting piles all over the place.
The basement… the scene of the ‘accident’.
Where I had not ventured for the past week.

She had evidently gone to the basement this morning in need of some such stocked item down there and heard a scratching sound.

Welp… quite a long time ago we had set some traps which I diligently checked for weeks.
Slowly, over time, I checked them less and less. Tho still every other day or third day or so…
Now the forlorn basement has been abandoned for a week and guess what.

Yup, we caught ourselves a mouse.

However, my excitement was tempered by the fact that the little guy was in rough shape. He had clearly been in confinement for some time.
My original plan to drive the captured mice to my office and release them in the parking garage was dashed by the need to get this guy some air and freedom as quickly as possible.

I am such a softy.

I released him in the back of our detached garage. Other mice live in the garage, perhaps they already know each other. He will be happy there.

And yes, I know he will probably move right back into the house.
My fault tho.

Your tip for today:
Keep checkin’ the traps.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

It's all fun and games until somebody...

It's all good people.
weese does NOT need surgery.
The doctor tells me that I have some cartilage that may be frayed.
weese is fraying.

So for now, if I keep improving I am good to go.
There is an outside chance that I will need my frayed-ness smoothed out.
But weese is doubtful.
My Reiki-practioning wife will take care of the rest of my healing.
She has already been taking care of me dutifully all week. Each night she makes sure I have the requisite number of cocktails to keep me in a happy place. A place far from my long 'spring to-do list'.

I have been given the go ahead to resume 'light' activity today.
You all know what that means....

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

a restful place

I am in the office today... for my health.

I know if I were home today I would be trying to clean that damn basement on crutches.
Yesterday I found that I could push the laundry basket around the house. See, you just balance on the good leg with the opposite crutch, then using the free crutch you... ok, well you can see why I came into work.

The pain is minimal today, which is too bad really - because I've got some awesome opiates.

Monday, May 14, 2007

Just when you thought...

We have spoken of my spring anxiety...and of my looooong list of things to do.
Well - just when you thought you had a plan to get things under control and get some stuff done... the Universe - it plays with us.

This morning... while doing nothing more than squatting down to get something off a low shelf - it seems I may have torn my meniscus (this is evidently the cartilage in my knee). This is not a definitive diagnosis yet. There are tests to be done, results to review, and treatments to discuss.
In the meantime - there are crutches and pain meds.
weese is
out
of
commission.

And let me just say how amazingly blessed I am to have a son strong enough to lift me.
If he hadn't been home I can just imagine I would have had to call 911 for them to get me out of the basement. And since one of the projects underway was cleaning the basement, there was no way I was letting any EMT's down there without straitening up a bit. And since standing was impossible... we would have had a serious problem here.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

Did you know you can get soap out of a sponge simply by adding different soap?

For example, if you've got a sponge full of dish soap and it seems like you could rinse it forever with endless suds - take a bar of hand soap and rub some into the sponge, then squeeze and rinse.
One washes the other out.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

A creak in the floor

The floor creaked as I walked the hall last night. Our floors creak easily.
I like creaks.
I have always found them comforting.
I got to wondering what other people thought about creaks in the floor.

This creak was right in front of Ferris’ room. He is home for the summer and fresh off finals, so sleep grabbed him early.
I wondered if he heard these creaks. The creaks of his mom and me paddling about getting ready for bed. Perhaps they woke him slightly, or perhaps they were simply unconsciously noted. I wondered if they comforted him. Those cuddly sounds of home.
I wondered about people who might not like creaks. Imagine the tiny victim of child abuse cringing at the creak of approaching terror.
I wondered about those who might think to fix the creaks- and of course wondered how they might fix them.

I would not fix them.
To me… these creaks are part of the sounds and smells and tactile feelings of home.
These creaks bring me joy.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

To Blave

weese can be anxious at times.
Anxiety often comes to weese in the spring. The spring brings many things to do which must be done in a timely manner. The list is daunting to weese. Add to these spring things – Ferris arriving home for summer break with three times as much laundry as he left with, and discourse where weese works…and you have one weese who really should be medicated.

Ah, but then there is weese’s most patient wife. She seems to sense the energy before even pulling into the driveway. She steels herself, and then walks into it. She speaks just a few words, waves her arms around a bit and this fretful weesy energy disperses all over the room seeping out the windows and doors. Then she gently sets weese off on a task, and calmly sorts through the loose ends.

This weese is blessed.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Our baby boy

turns 19 today.

I wonder what he's gonna be doin' tonight...

Thursday, May 03, 2007

just talking

Our conversation this morning over coffee...

weese: I really like this house.
my lovely wife: me too, we can stay here for many more years.


Our conversation this evening over sparkling water...
after spending most of the afternoon lying under the tractor trying to get it to work, then cutting the grass for two hours

weese: I'm thinking a little cape, on say 1/8th of an acre.
my supportive wife: uh huh... do you want 3 or 4 Tylenol?

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Wednesday is Friday

I have Thursday and Friday off.
I have a long list of projects scheduled over the next four days.

I won't have much time for blogging, but surely enough time to post a picture or two.

The biggest project will be moving my workshop from the garage into the basement.
We have a big garage which used to be a barn. There are two bays up top where we park the cars, and a large lower bay where we keep the lawn equipment and yard tools. A few years ago we moved my workshop out there as well so that we could use the basement space for other purposes.
We live in a small house and its essential to not only use all space available, but to be open to re-inventing it every few years.
Perhaps we were Nomads in previous lives. But we enjoy the re-invention process.

Once the workshop is tucked neatly back into the basement, the space created in the garage will then be used to store the Jeep's hardtop over the summer. My free-spirited wife simply can't wait to get her top off.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Butch enough for me

I love the chainsaw.

First... the job site.


One down (prior to the chainsaw purchase) two to go.


Here is my energetic wife getting a head start,
while I gather the tools.



Then...poof - the thing was down.

Miller time (well ...technically...Michelob)

Friday, April 27, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

Today's tip is simple.
Know your own limitations.

Everyone has limits. Learn them. It may extend your life... or certainly some appendages.
I purchased an electric chainsaw today. And while that may scream 'pansy-dyke' to some... I think it's damned smart.

There will be pictures. Especially since I will most likely retain all my fingers.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Power tools

She's done it again.

This past weekend...
It was Sunday afternoon and we were finishing up two full days doing spring clean up.
The work had been heavy and I was pretty tired and a little sore. I had left the tractor work till the end, figuring I could still manage to steer.

I drove my big orange Husqvarna with cup holder around to the side of the house... to find my frugal wife and our 82 year old neighbor cutting down a tree.

See, I had a tree guy come and give us an estimate on taking down these three hemlock trees and trimming up a large northern pine in the side yard. The estimate seemed high, so I planned on calling around for others.
Evidently that's unnecessary.

Again, my burly wife used her tool of choice for this 19 foot sapling with an 8 inch trunk- her HAND saw.

She did mention that she could use a new blade this year.

There are two more trees to take down... larger than the first.
Time to buy some power tools.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Somebody hide the remote

Sometimes I wish I had the strength to toss the TV right out the window…and I don’t mean physical strength.

I went to the gym during my lunch break yesterday, and foolishly turned on the TV while I ran endlessly going nowhere on The Machine That I Hate(1).
I was watching The View. I found it… mildly amusing at best.

BUT then I saw a commercial by the folks who make Lysol. They were hawking some new plug in type air freshener. First, let me just say that I really don’t like air fresheners in the home. Fine in the office – where you really can’t control your aromatic environment but cleanliness should not be replaced with pleasant smelling tricks.

Which is EXACTLY what these Lysol folks want you to do.
So much so in fact, they spell it out for you. The voice over said something about covering up bacterial odors and they gave two examples. One was a teenage boy with smelly sneakers. Ok… I was not completely irate here, smelly sneakers can happen – we did raise a boy. (Of course he got new sneakers as soon as there was any detectable odor. He is actually rather fastidious about his shoes.)
But… the next one folks had me gasp audibly.
They showed a bathroom, and suggested that the toilet was the source of the bacterial odors by having it grow to enormous size and then have a child walk in and grimace at the smell.
Did they suggest cleaning the toilet??
NO!!!
They suggested that you get this wonderful magical fix it all up electric(2) air freshener.
OMG.

Please, please I implore you. If your toilet smells(3) – CLEAN IT.



1) TMTIH – the elliptical
2) Do you really need to waste even more electricity on an air freshener?
3) This should never actually happen of course. The toilet should be cleaned regularly regardless of the way it looks or smells, and therefore will never degrade to the point of causing odors.

Monday, April 23, 2007

a day off

I am off from work today.

I am puttering around the house and yard continuing the spring maintenance that my energetic wife and I started over the weekend.

This morning I scrubbing the wood porch floor and washing the siding on that side of the house (yes, I wash the house).
Evidently during this process I got the doorbell unusually wet.
Now its randomly ding-donging.

The FREE dog is going nuts.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

It's Earthday people.
Conserve today.
But please, don’t forget about tomorrow.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

A Weekend Outing

One of my artistic wife’s favorite places is the Met… for those who don’t live near NYC, which is the center of the universe – this can either mean the Metropolitan Opera, or the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Today I refer to the Museum. (she also loves the Louvre…but we don’t get out there as often)

We have been going to this museum since … well since the mid 80’s. We have favorite rooms, specific artists and certain paintings that we like to visit each time.
My painterly wife loves the American Wing, and the Dutch painters have a special place in her heart.
In the rooms which house the permanent collection of European paintings I have a favorite bench… it faces a Rembrandt self portrait which I have grown to love, and allows me a rest while my wife enjoys long visits with her Vermeer’s.

We have visited the museum in each season – Christmas time is always a favorite.
Spring time in the park can be lovely, and dinner in little Italy is fab in the summer.

We brought ‘The Daughter’ to this museum when she was small enough for a piggy back. I remember this distinctly because after a full day in the museum she was tired and we rode her on our backs the entire 30 blocks back to Grand Central. We didn’t take cabs or the subway in those days… we were young…and strong… and broke.



A few years back we introduced Ferris to the Met with the Da Vinci exhibit. We learned Ferris’ insight into art is priceless. Having been raised by artists in a home filled with art, he saunters through a room filled with renowned European painters and his keen eye hones in immediately on this piece.


Can you see why?

We returned to the Met this weekend after having been away for several years. Perfectly timed with a special exhibit of Louis Comfort Tiffany. If you are in the area, I highly recommend it. It’s extremely well presented.
We will of course now be purchasing lead, glass cutters, grinders and several pieces of colored glass – as my affected wife gets inspired.

This perfect museum visit was topped off with a meal in Greenwich village, a visit to a head shop, and the near purchase of a $2300.00 dollar puppy.
I adore my sweet wife’s birthday.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

One more year

Because we have been so busy having a fun filled weekend.
I am a couple days late wishing my ever so slightly older wife a happy, happy birthday.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

It’s time for spring cleaning (well for those of you finished up with your shoveling).
I will probably have several spring cleaning tips over the next few weeks.

Aren’t you excited?

I think you may like this one… because I am going to tell you NOT to clean something.

Don’t be too eager to wash your windows yet. With all the sand/salt and winter dirt still on the roads, washing the windows now would be futile. If you have great resolve you can even hold out until after spring pollen week. At the very least wait until the street cleaners have come.

On window cleaning day, gather all the screens in the yard for a good hosing off. (the screens you removed last fall…right? Well, if you didn’t remove them… take them down for a rinse now). Let the screens air dry as you wash the windows. Remember to wipe the sills inside and out. When you are looking out of your windows on a beautiful spring day, the last thing you want to see is a grungy sill (specifically that spot under the window when you open the sash).
During this process check any caulking that has been installed to make sure it’s still supple and intact. Replace any damaged or cracked caulk.
Also remember to wipe down the tracks, window frame and muntins... again inside and out.

To make the outside cleaning even easier we hose down the windows prior to washing. We take this extra step in the spring to rinse away the accumluated grit, where in the fall we usually just wash the windows when the screens are taken in.
These simple steps will keep your windows looking great, and in good working order for many years of service.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

It's the least I can do

I was in the ladies room at work this morning, serenely washing my hands. I have been more careful lately to limit my water consumption. I use my wrist to flip the water on, then off during sudsing, then on again to rinse. The process takes a little longer – but it’s more economical.

I was rinsing when I first heard the *thrrip*,*thrrip*,*thrrip*… I turn… slowly, as the realization of the origin of this sound washes over me. As my sight slowly hones in on the source, it continues... *thrrip*, *thrrip*, *thrrip*.
Yes, six times. I am pretty sure I recall hearing it six times.

I stare. Incredulous.
I falter, suddenly realizing my water is still running.
Damn. Wasteful.
I quickly slap the handle down with an audible pop.
I look back … curious… miffed.

And there she is. Wiping, mopping you might say, her just slightly dampened hands with SIX paper towels.
6!
Oh… the horror of it.

She tosses her WAD of nearly dry and unused paper towels in the receptacle and brushes past me toward the door.
I want to call out.
“Why?”
I don’t. I stand, dumbfounded … speechless.

I will not use any paper towels today.
I feel I need to balance the scales.

Monday, April 09, 2007

The Animal Kingdom


They're back.

My soft-hearted wife calls them Doves.

Which they are... but I still call them pigeons.

See, there is one sitting in the garage. They like to do this. I don't know why.

I did some research on them.

The Mourning Dove (Zenaida macroura) is a member of the dove family, Columbidae.
The bird is also called the American Mourning Dove, and formerly was known as the Carolina Pigeon or Carolina Turtledove.

...~ Mourning Doves are prolific breeders. In warmer areas, these birds may raise up to six broods in a season. This fast breeding is essential for the survival of the species as mortality is high.
Each year, mortality can reach 58% a year for adults and 69% for the young.
The Mourning Dove is monogamous and forms strong pair bonds. Pairs typically reconvene in the same area the following breeding season, or sometimes may remain together throughout the winter. However, lone doves will find new partners if necessary.


yes yes... isn't it cute that they are monogamous, and they come back to the same place each year... yeah, cute... those prolifc breeders that they are.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Friday

tip-o-day

It's time people.
I know its still a little chilly up here - but get up off the couch and go outside and give your lawn some lovin'.

In order to keep to a timely feeding schedule, you need to get your first application down pretty soon. This means you need to have finished your raking.

Remember, that the first application of the year contains crabgrass preventative (crabacide). This product works by forming a barrier on your soil which stops crabgrass from germinating. If you rake after the application - you muck up your barrier.
Also note - that it will stop grass seed from germinating as well. So don't apply this product to any areas you plan to seed this spring. Instead, use a starter fertilizer in those areas to give your seedlings a strong start.
This will be an important application, as it was a banner year for crabrass across the country last summer. We may even put down a second application later in the season at our house.

Apply to dry grass, any time of the day.

You may notice the Scott's advertisements for a new product this year which now includes crabacide in the second application of weed and feed to be applied later in the spring. While I am impressed with their quick marketing response the the prolific crabgrass we saw only last year... I have some issues with these two products mixed together because of the very different application methods... we can discuss this next time.
.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Tuning in

I read over at Sassy's their list of TV shows that they like to record.

This, of course, got me to thinking... lovingly of our Hi-Def DVR.

We are not rich folk. We don't have fancy cars, or a big house - hell we don't even have a dishwasher. But I love our Hi-Def DVR.

What makes me love our large TV and Hi-Def DVR even
more is Planet Earth.

You should really tune in.
And... if you have the means, see it in Hi-Def.

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Under Construction

time to customize
mucking with html
it can only get better

damn...

changing templates.
lost comments.
damn.

Monday, April 02, 2007

abstinence

weese is on the